Deaf Sam Verse
by DeannaWinchester88
Summary: Various episode tags featuring Deaf!Sam.
1. On The Darkest Of Nights

**Summary:** Tag to 1x01 - In the aftermath of Jess' death, Sam wants to do nothing more than block out the world forever. Dean tries to offer reassurance to his little brother.

* * *

It felt like they had been driving for hours when only twenty minutes had actually passed since his whole world had literally gone into flames around him. He was sat in the Impala, head resting against the cold, condensated window riding out the vibrations as they drove through the night. He was sure that there couldn't possibly be any more water in his body left for him to cry out. His hands were still shaking, and so was his frame as he tightly gripped the edge of the leather bench with one hand. His breath would hitch every so often as he screwed his eyes closed.

Jess was gone.

Dean had pulled him from the room they once shared together and out the front door. He had been unaware of his brother's return to the apartment until hands gripped him by the shoulders and forcively pulled him from the scene.

When they made it outside, Sam had swung a punch at his brother for not allowing him to attempt saving Jess and Dean had let it strike his chest instead of blocking it. Sam couldn't stand the look of sheer sympathy and pity on his brother's face, and on any other day would have set about wiping it from him with a comment, but he didn't care. Seeing the pain in Dean's expression too just made everything evermore real. It cemented the fact that it wasn't a dream, it was reality, and it had happened to him. Jess was dead, and he was alone.

Well...maybe not fully alone.

When his anger had drained and his emotions simply became too strong to contain, Sam had broken down. He quickly found himself being pulled in close to his brother's arms. Sam rested his head against his brother's shoulder as he sobbed painfully, Dean tracing 'O-K-A-Y' onto his back in comfort over and over again. They had stayed like this for a few minutes before Dean had guided him to the Impala.

Dean had tried to offer reassurance but Sam had simply closed his eyes and leant against the window. He hated how easily Sam could block out the world, but simply accepted that his little brother needed some time to process everything that had happened and so simply fired up the ignition and got them both out of there.

Looking over at his little brother, Dean took in his appearance. Pale with red eyes from crying, Sam was shaking and unbeknownst to him, whimpering lightly. He sighed before gently tapping him on the shoulder gently, pulling him away from his own mind.

Sam looked up and over at with lifeless eyes.

"Sammy." He spoke softly.

And that was all it took before Sam once again began to cry.

Dean reached out and pulled his little brother closer so that he was resting against his side as he kept his other hand on the wheel.

'Nowhere' He signed before bringing his hand up to his chest. 'Me nowhere'

And with that, a small smile came to Sam's lips before he buried closer into Dean's side.

'You are so strong. We get through this together'

'I feel like I want to die'

Dean's heart wrenched.

'You can't do that, remember? Years ago you made deal'

Sam sighed.

'Anyway, if you go, I go'

"D'n..." The youngest Winchester grumbled, and in any other situation, Dean would have rolled his eyes and groaned back. But in this instance, he couldn't be happier.

Scared that the death of Jess would cause his little brother to shut down, Dean knew he had to get Sam talking as quick as possible, and he'd managed, even if it was just a groan.

It marked stone number one.

He knew he was going to have to be vigilant. In the back of Dean's mind there was always a worry that Sam was going to do something stupid. Again. And he was never going to let that happen if he could do anything to stop it. Which meant reassuring his little brother with everything he had to make sure that Sam grieved as healthily as possible.

Sam, obviously having sensed concern in his older brother looked up at him.

"Jerk." He spoke up, simply.

A smile came to Dean's face in an instant.

"Bitch."


	2. Night Moves

**Summary:** Tag to 1x02 - Sam is angry because of having to leave Stanford and is taking his anger out on his brother. Dean is trying not to strangle his moody little brother.

* * *

"Dad's journal say anything about it?" Dean asked, one hand signing as he spoke, out of habit.

Sam shook his head. 'Coordinates' He paused before beginning to fingerspell. 'B-L-A-C-K-W-A-T-E-R-R-I-D-G-E' Closing the journal, he must have sighed out loud because he sensed his brother's worry.

"Did you remember to take your medication?"

'Yes' Sam rolled his eyes.

A sign of 'S' and 'My', his name sign, later and Sam knew he was screwed. Since Jess' death, the no chick flick rule had been paused as his brother sought to get him to talk about how he was feeling instead of just trying to block out the world, as he was very good at doing.

'No' Sam signed in reply.

"You didn't even hear what I was going to say."

'Don't care. Not talk about that'

"Sam, I know you're pissed 'cause we left Stanford, but there weren't any more leads. We dug around there for a week. We came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica—"

Sam turned his head away.

"Hey!" Dean took hold of his brother's arm just for it to be shoved off a few seconds later.

"Fine, whatever, sulk away." Dean pulled open the hatch in front of Sam with an audible thump causing Sam to turn and inspect the change in the air. He turned to Dean with thunderous eyes. "Put your fucking hearing aids in, the glovebox isn't the one that's deaf." Dean stated before turning his attention back to the road.

Sam rolled his eyes as he took out the beige plastic monstrosities inside before slotting them into his ears. He had to agree that they did work. Not maybe as much as the nurse had stated they would, but he didn't really care. His hearing loss was profound, but the hearing aids helped to at least let him hear the whisps of sounds. He couldn't hear the words or the tone in which the speaker had used, but he had managed to learn the difference between loud and soft.

Without the aids though it was a world of silence. Most hearing people would probably interpret the sounds that he can hear through the hearing aids to be silence too, but to Sam, those sounds were the difference between living and dying sometimes on hunts.

Profound hearing loss meant that he could only hear the loud and soft if he was very close to the subject or source of the sounds, which meant that it wasn't uncommon for monsters to catch him unaware of their presence as they attacked.

During the times when money got tight, the batteries were the first things to be thrown off the shopping list. Sam didn't even care, he could very easily survive without them and it was nice to have a break from the things. Plus Sam also found the complete silence was often far more relaxing anyway.

When he had enrolled in Stanford he was also able to join the health centre on campus meaning that he could get replacement earmolds and batteries on prescription with his scholarship. Jess would always go on and on at him whenever he would use a dead battery or an exhausted earmold as an excuse to not wear them, it reminded him of Dean.

But that was gone now.

She was gone.

He knew he was being harsh on Dean. His brother was trying, and Sam knew that he was a moody son of a bitch at the best of times, and more often than not Dean would always be the one on the receiving end of his anger. He never complained though, Dean would just take it because he knew that Sam had to let out all that built up rage somewhere, and it was better it be him that some random guy or another kid at school. That's why Dean began training him, so that he would have a healthier release for it all, and Sam found that it did actually help. Training gave him a way to take control, and it was therapeutic.

"D'n."

Dean's head turned.

'Sorry'

He smiled before reaching over and purposely messing up Sam's hair.

Sam batted his hand away.

'Jerk'

'Bitch'

"We friends again?" Dean asked with a smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes with a unique little breathy laugh.

"Being as moody as that, you'd think you're deaf or something." Dean joked.

Sam hit his brother on the arm.

"Ow!" Dean laughed. "Violence is not the answer."

'Is when big brother stupid' Sam signed. 'Music?'

Dean nodded. 'Zeppelin? S-E-G-E-R? A-C? Sabbath?

'S-E-G-E-R'

Dean fished out the cassette box before locating the Seger tape and stuffing it into the player.

Sam placed his palm flat onto the leather bench as the music began to play, feeling the vibrations as Dean turned it up to a volume that he often worried would lead his brother to the same situation.

Turning to Dean, Sam smiled as he watched him singing along with the song, finger drumming on the steering wheel, and foot tapping on the floor.

"Come on, you know it too." Dean encouraged. "Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy." He sang.

Sam smiled before beginning to sing aloud too. "Out in the front seat of my brother six-tee seven Chev-ee." He knew that he had sang the lyrics in time with Seger on the track as he witnessed the expression of pride on his brother's face before he began laughing at Sam's changes to the lyrics.

After a few seconds, Dean rested his hand gently on Sam's arm. "Ready?"

"Workin' on our night moves." They both sang together, smiles on their faces as they drove on through the night towards Blackwater Ridge, and all was well.


	3. Stupid Older Brothers

**Summary:** Tag to 1x02 - The hunt brings back unwanted memories of when they were younger for Sam

 **One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

"D'n?..."

A small voice, harsh from disuse called out through the darkness of the motel room.

"No, no, no! D'n! D'n!"

Dean flicked on the light as he rushed across the gap between the two beds and gently placed his hand on Sam's shoulder, his way of getting his little brother's attention, before sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

Sam's eyes were closed as he thrashed under the covers meaning Dean was unable to communicate with him outside of the soft touches to his upper body. After a few seconds, Sam bolted upright, brow covered in sweat, eyes wide with fear, and shaking like a leaf.

"Sammy? You okay, buddy?"

Sam turned to his brother, his breathing becoming natural once again before he twirled his finger around. 'Again'

"You okay?" Dean repeated.

Sam watched his brother's lips before nodding. Untangling himself from the covers, he wiped a hand across his forehead removing the sweat.

'Fine. Water.' He signed back in response before clambering off the bed and walking over to the kitchenette area of the room. Sam poured himself a drink, downing it in record speed before leaning back against the wall.

"Nightmare?" Dean asked once Sam had looked up from the glass.

Sam shot him a look of 'duh'.

Dean rolled his eyes causing Sam to smirk before continuing. "About what?"

And with that Sam looked away, avoiding the gaze of Dean.

Without even needing to have asked that question, Dean knew exactly what the nightmare his little brother had just experienced was about. The Wendigo hunt had brought back unwelcome memories from a past hunt with their Dad. Not only had it ended up going sour, but Sam's had also been hurt in the process from the lecture he had received from their father as the two of them had sat in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for news on Dean.

If Dean ever had to think of reasons as to why Sam was so determined to leave for Stanford, this memory would be the defining one as him getting hurt on the hunt hadn't even been Sam's fault. Dad had just needed something to blame and Sam had sadly been the only one conscious and around at the time to get the blaze of anger and regretful comments.

They had been tracking a Wendigo for the past few weeks and eventually tracked it to a forest in Ohio. Dad, being his usual self, had handled the situation immensely poorly when telling Sam that he'd have to stay in the car while they went out and killed the creature. Sam, being Sam, had kicked up a fuss which led them the two of them argue. And then it happened.

* * *

"We can't screw this up and that's exactly what's gonna' happen if you come with us. You're a liability without your hearing out there, Sam."

Sam's hands ceased signing as his gaze fell to his brother for backup.

Dean lips stayed still.

Sam scoffed in annoyance before turning away from their father and shuffling across the backseat away from the open door.

Dad, obviously feeling as if they'd wasted enough time already, slammed the door closed, causing even Sam to jump from the heavy vibrations, and the loud sound amplified by his hearing aids.

Dad and Dean headed off further into the forest to track down the creature leaving him in the car.

"Guuuahh!" Sam growled before punching the panelling of the door a few times. Rage dwindling, Sam curled his hand closer to him, cradling it as the pain began to set it along with some regret.

They'd left him. Again.

Left him like he was some useless child who was capable of nothing. He wasn't useless. He could read. He could write. He could speak. Yeah he had a little trouble with vowels, or when he was tired, but he could still say a lot. He could research better than Dean or Dad. He even found stuff quicker than Bobby could sometimes. He'd learnt to shoot. He could fire a crossbow. He knew hand to hand. He could take Dean down when sparring. He could draw sigils, and devil's traps. He knew what killed each creature, or at least how to slow them down. He could handle himself in a fight, and he'd even killed before. So why was this time different?

He knew that Dad didn't want him out there hunting, and definitely did not want him hunting with them. The further away he was, the more John could just pretend that he didn't have a son with profound hearing loss.

Although John had been vaguely supportive in the first years through helping him to learn ASL, read, write, and speak, as soon as Dean had hit nine, apparently that was an age when he could replace Dad in Sam's development. John had then proceeded to spend longer away on hunts, or just packed them off to Bobby's for months at a time.

But Dean.

Dean had picked up from where John had so abruptly left off. Well, not that he hadn't been there the whole time in the first place. It was very clear that Dean was immensely disapproving of the way that John handled Sam. The passing comments that Sam couldn't quite lip read but knew were aimed at him from the expression of annoyance on Dean's face. The looks every time he opened his mouth. Every single time their father would scowl, Dean would simply sign Sam's sign name to get his attention before offering him the encouragement to carry on.

His thoughts were interrupted at the soft sound of knocking on the side of the car. Sam looked out to try and find the source of the noise but couldn't see anything.

"D'n?"

It was then that the Wendigo pounced. Smashing the window of the car, it had ripped open the door before dragging Sam from inside. The Wendigo then side swiped Sam, causing him to land in a disorientated heap on the forest floor.

Sam groaned at the pain in his side from the landing, and his chest from where the creature's claws had caught him. He didn't have time to check anything though as the Wendigo descended upon him, claws holding him down as he bore his fangs. Sam tried to fight back, kick, punch, squirm, but his efforts were futile. The creature was stronger. The creature was faster.

Suddenly loud and lots of it filled his ears, amplified by the hearing aids. Looking in the general direction, Dean was rushing up to them, slamming the butt of his gun against the side of the creature's head, knocking him way from Sam and releasing its hold on him.

Sam rolled away before slowing getting to his knees. He was back in silence as Dad, Dean and the Wendigo had crossed the threshold for his hearing aid's distance. He also had no weapon, and very much doubted that Dad was going to supply him one at this very moment and so instead had to think on his feet. Finding a large branch he grabbed it before sprinting over to where Dean and the creature were currently fighting.

Loud again. Sam's eyes fixed on the scene just as the Wendigo managed to land a shot, scraping its claws down Dean's chest. Blood spurted out of the wounds before the loud almost began to hurt. He knew what the loud was. The loud was his brother's cries of pain, and his father's screams.

Three sharp louds that had Sam jumping slightly and the creature dropped. Gunfire. Dad dropped to his knees beside Dean, having dropped the gun to the floor.

Sam threw away the branch he had been holding ready to attack and crouched down too, his eyes soon widening as he took in the amount of blood that now covered his brother. He crawled closer to him, going to the other side to Dad and placed his hands on Dean's arm.

He must have been mumbling because Dean's eyes found his quickly, instantly trying to offer reassurance despite being the one in pain. 'O-K-A-Y' He traced into Sam's palm before squeezing it gently.

'Not okay. Fault' Sam signed quickly before bringing his hand to his own chest. 'Fault Me'

Dean tried to shake his head but his closed as head lolled to the side.

Sam began to panic as he grabbed his brother's hand and squeezed it harder. 'N-O-D-E-A-N-S-T-A-Y.' A shove made him lose his grip on Dean and had him landing on his ass on the ground, their father having been the one who'd pushed him. Dad was shouting, maybe even screaming as he began performing CPR on Dean.

'Me help' Sam signed.

Dad didn't see.

He tapped him on the shoulder.

He was ignored.

"Me h'lp?" He tried.

Dad's gaze fell to him.

"Shut up, Sam."

Sam would have gotten angry with him if the situation was different, but now, with Dean lying unconscious and bleeding out on the forest floor, he understood.

Dad gathered Dean up in his arms before sprinting off to the car.

Sam got to his feet as quickly as the pain is his chest would allow him. He looked down, noticing the rips in the fabric and the splotches of blood. Zipping his jacket up, Sam rushed over to the car before climbing into the backseat. Dean was handed over to him a few seconds later, his brother's head resting in his lap.

The drive to the hospital took only a few minutes and when they arrived, everything was such a blur of activity that Sam had no chance of understanding what was happening. He wanted to protest when Dean was pulled from his arms but he knew that he needed help and they were the ones who could give it to him.

Dad had rushed off with Dean, throwing the keys vaguely in his direction. Sam picked them up from the footwell before climbing out and locking the car behind him.

Making his way into the hospital, Sam felt sick. Public places were the source of 95% of his anxiety, them and roads. Looking around at the expansively large hospital, Sam tried to keep his breathing steady as he tried to locate a sign to guide him in the direction his brother had been taken.

A tap on the shoulder caused him to jump as he turned on the spot to face the source of it. A nurse looked equally as shocked, but her expression was that of concern.

Sam tapped his ear before remembering that people didn't understand what that meant.

'Me help you?' She signed.

Sam knew he must have looked incredibly childish with the expression that appeared on his face, but he didn't care, he was too happy that she had actually understood him. And she knew ASL too!

Sam nodded. 'Brother hurt'

'Name him what?' She asked.

'D-E-A-N-W-I-N-C-H-E-S-T-E-R'

'Wounds chest hair brown'

Sam nodded.

'Me follow'

The nurse led him down a maze of corridors before Sam spotted their father sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room, head buried in his hands before looked up at him and the nurse.

"He was a little lost." The nurse stated before smiling at Sam.

'Thank you' Sam signed.

'You're welcome' She replied before walking off.

Dad remained silent as Sam sat down on the seat next to him.

'Dean okay?'

"No he's not okay. Do you really think that he's okay after what happened? All of this could've been avoided if you had just done as you were told. What were you even doing out of that car?!"

Sam could tell the anger in his tone.

'Me sorry'

"Oh, you're sorry. That's great." John shook his head. "What am I supposed to do with that, Sam? What is Dean supposed to do with that? How will that sorry help him? You were childish and stupid and now your brother is fighting for his life in there."

They were interrupted when a doctor approached. He must have said that they could go and see Dean because Dad was out of his chair in seconds.

Sam got up too.

"Don't you think you've done enough? Stay here."

The anger inside Sam was building with every second. He wasn't just going to sit here while his brother was in there, and Dad could fuck off if he thought otherwise.

"No."

John's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me."

"No. Me go too. To D'n."

John bit his tongue as he turned to the doctor, back to Sam so he couldn't lip read.

The doctor nodded in reply to something that Dad had said before walking off.

John then turned back to Sam and grabbed him by the collar, shoving him back against the wall.

"I am through with dealing with your shit today, Sam, so you are going to sit here, shut up, and wait until I come back from seeing Dean, you got that?"

Sam nodded.

"Good." John let go of Sam's collar before walking off.

Sam let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding before collapsing down into the plastic seat, willing himself to not cry.

* * *

Hours passed without any news.

Sam was asleep with his head against the wall in the waiting room when he felt a tap on his shoulder again. Opening his eyes, it was the nurse from before.

'Okay you?'

Sam nodded.

'Name you what?' The nurse asked.

'S-A-M'

'Me R-A-C-H-E-L'

'Nice to meet you' Sam smiled.

'Brother seen?'

Sam shook his head.

'See now?'

Sam nodded eagerly before following as Rachel led him down the corridor to one of the rooms. Walking inside, Dean was still on the bed, bandages covering his chest, and an IV in his hand.

'Brother has L-A-C-E-R-A-'

Sam put his hand up 'Stop'.

Rachel paused.

'Me lip read' He explained. 'Quicker for you'

She smiled.

"Oh sorry. My niece is deaf but she's still a little young to learn lip reading so I'm just used to signing to her."

'Don't worry. Like signing with others' Sam walked closer to the bed, taking in the appearance of his brother with worried eyes. He placed his hand on top of Dean's and squeezed it reassuringly.

Rachel smiled at the love the younger brother clearly had for the elder. She waited until he had turned to look at her before speaking.

"Anyway, yeah he's got some lacerations on his chest that have been stitched up nice and tight, but apart from that, he's just a little bruised. We've got him on the good stuff, which is why he's sleeping right now, but other than that, he's looking pretty good for what he's been through."

Sam's expression was that of genuine gratitude. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times before...

"Thank you Ray-chul."

Her smile couldn't be any larger. "You're welcome sweetie." She walked round the other side of the bed and quickly checked the machines before turning back to face Sam. "You should talk to him. He'll be able to hear you." Rachel picked up Dean's doctor's notes from the side table before walking towards the door. "I'll come and check up on him in a little while."

Sam sighed as he took a seat next to the bed. Reaching up, he gently took a hold of his brother's arm and turned his palm around so that it was facing upwards as it lay on the mattress.

'M-E-S-O-R-R-Y-M-E-F-A-U-L-T'

Sam stopped to wipe away the tears that were trickling down his cheeks.

"Sorry, D'n."

* * *

Sam scrubbed a hand down his face as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

Dean took a seat next to him. He turned to his brother before reaching an arm around Sam's shoulders and pulling him against his side.

Sam smiled.

'Not fault last time. Not fault now' Dean signed.

'No'

"Sam, you didn't do anything wrong last time. You defended yourself and managed to hold that off until me and Dad got over to you. We left you in the car because it was supposed to have been safer for you there. The blame doesn't lie with you." Dean paused. "Plus you got injured too that day."

'Just scratch'

"Sam that was not a scratch. You know what happened."

* * *

'-M-Y...-M-Y...S-M-Y'

Sam's head felt funny. His eyes seemed heavy as he flickered his eyes open for a few seconds before screwing them closed once again. Someone was tracing something onto his arm. His name sign. His coordination was off even more than usual. What the hell was happening?

'S-M-Y-L-O-O-K-M-E-P-L-E-A-S-E-S-M-Y'

A palm on his forehead came and went before it landed on his shoulder, squeezing it. The other was still signing. He realised that he should be paying more attention.

'O-P-E-N-E-Y-E-S-L-O-O-K-M-E-P-L-E-A-S-E-S-M-Y'

Vibrations and then soft. Someone must have come into the room, the change in air had felt like that when the nurse had left before. Maybe Rachel was back, she said she was going to check up on Dean later. But Dean was asleep.

Finding enough strength to open his eyes, the effect was immediate on the fuzzy figure in front of him who sprang into action leaning closer. The figure immediately began signing using proper signs but Sam couldn't make them out.

Reaching his shaking hands out, Sam guessed the distance and was correct as he managed to take hold of them, stopping them mid sign. He took the palm. 'F-I-N-G-E-R-S-P-E-L-L'

He could still hear soft before a hand came to rest on his forehead again. How many people were around him?

Loud. There was shouting around him now, but between who. He could feel movement too and see the figure moving. The loud became soft before the figure came to a rest on the other seat next to him.

Dean. It was Dean. Sam didn't know who else he expected it to be. His eyes had become clearer slightly, still not 100% but a lot better than they had been. He also felt sick.

Dean looked worried. Really worried. He was talking to the nurse. Sam quickly focused in on his brother's lips to eavesdrop.

"What's wrong with him? Is he sick? Did something happen to him too? Where's our Dad?"

Sam turned to Rachel.

"He was fine. I showed him to the waiting room when he first arrived at the hospital. There was another man in there too but I don't know whether it was your father or not because he wasn't there when I came to get Sam to bring him in here to see you."

"A'gree." Sam attempted turning back to Dean.

"Agree?" Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

Sam shook his head, annoyed that it hadn't come out right.

"Ag'ree."

"Angry?" Dean realised.

Sam nodded before signing 'Dad'

"He was angry. With you?"

Sam nodded once again.

"Are you hurt, Sammy?"

Sam shook his head.

"Don't lie. Are you hurt?"

Sam paused before nodding guiltily.

Dean responded immediately, hands searching him gently, eyes widening as he unzipped Sam's jacket. "Oh my god, Sammy!"

There was more loud around him. The light from the windows was making his head hurt. He screwed his eyes closed for a few seconds before opening them once again to find Dean's gaze.

He must have missed something.

'What?' He signed.

Dean pointed to Rachel.

"Why didn't you tell me, I could have stitched you up too?" She asked.

'You help Dean' Sam signed.

Dean turned to interpret but Rachel was already replying.

'Lots doctors nurses to help you'

Dean smiled before gently wrapping his arm around his brother's shoulders.

"Come on Sasquatch, let's get you some of the good stuff too."

As Dean helped him stand up, Sam didn't anticipate the weakness in his legs and nearly sent the two of them toppling to the ground but luckily Dean righted him immediately with a reassuring grip round his side, being careful not to disturb the wounds.

'You stupid' Dean signed as he helped Sam to the bed before shuffling across onto it too.

Rachel began examining the wounds. Her face said it all.

"These wounds are infected." She stated.

'See stupid' Dean smirked, but Sam could see the worry his brother was so desperately trying to hide behind it.

Suddenly, Sam went rigid in Dean's arms.

"Sammy?" Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

Small puffs and gasps left his little brother's lips before Sam's eyes became wide and panicked.

"Sammy?!" Dean repeated, tone stronger and more worried now.

"Sam?" Rachel began too. "Sam, what's wrong, sweetie?"

Dean held out his hand, placing it in his brother's palm up. He then guided his brother's finger to it. "Sammy, what's wrong."

'C-A-N-T-B-R-E-A-T-H-E'

The signs were sloppy but Dean still understood every letter.

"He can't breathe!"

Rachel immediately got to work.

"This is not hospital policy but in this situation we're gonna' have to just go with it. Dean, will you be alright in that chair so I can use your bed for Sam."

Dean nodded. "Of course."

Rachel then helped Sam to lie back onto the mattress before placing the buds of the stethoscope from her pocket into her ears. She ripped open Sam's plaid shirt revealing dark purple and green bruising.

"Oh my god." She heard Dean gasp quietly from beside the bed.

"From the look of these bruises, your brother has been hiding at least one broken rib."

Rachel placed the metal disk of the stethoscope against his chest.

"Can you interpret?"

Dean nodded and in an instant took Sam's palm.

"I need him to breathe in and hold it."

'S-M-Y-B-R-E-A-T-H-E-H-O-L-D'

Sam did.

"And then breathe out."

'L-E-T-G-O'

Sam exhaled, eyes screwing together as a tear escaped due to the pain.

"The rib sounds like its punctured his left lung." Rachel crossed the room and unlocked a cabinet. Opening the door she pulled out a large duffel bag and set about removing various items. She also wheeled across a canister. Plugging the tube and mask into the top of the canister, Rachel gently guided the mask over Sam's mouth before gently placing the strap around the back of his head. "Oxygen. Tell him to take deep breaths."

Dean began signing.

"I'm gonna' give him something to take the edge of for this next bit but I'm not gonna' sedate him otherwise he might end up hurting himself if he gets confused. It might all get a little much for him so I'm gonna' need you to try and keep him as calm as possible."

Dean's eyes were filled with unshed tears. He nodded before turning back to his little brother lightly gasping behind the oxygen mask.

"We sometimes strap the patients hands down so that they can't hurt themselves during this procedure but in this situation, restricting Sam's main form of communication may prove traumatic to him and cause him to panic more. Try and keep him still."

Dean nodded. "What should I tell him about what's gonna' happen."

"Well I have to get the air in his chest cavity out of there which means inserting a needle into his chest near his left lung. The syringe will pull out all the air in there."

Dean had turned green at the description of the procedure.

"You okay?" Rachel asked. "Can't have you passing out on me, and neither can Sam."

And that was all Dean needed to hear. His expression changed in an instant as if he'd put his game face on ready for his little brother. He looked down at his palm as Sam began signing 'D-E-A-N' weakly into it.

'O-K-A-Y-S-M-Y' He paused. 'N-U-R-S-E-P-U-T-N-E-E-D-L-E-C-H-E-S-T-A-I-R-R-E-M-O-V-E-D'

Sam's eyes widened in fear.

Dean squeezed his little brother's hand in reassurance. 'M-E-H-E-R-E-R-I-G-H-T-H-E-R-E-N-O-G-O' He paused once again. 'W-E-G-E-T-T-H-R-O-U-G-H-T-H-I-S' Dean offered a smile. 'C-A-U-S-E-Y-O-U-S-T-R-O-N-G'

'S-C-A-R-E-D' A tear trickled down Sam's chest. 'H-U-R-T'

'H-U-R-T-Y-E-S-B-U-T-N-U-R-S-E-D-O-Q-U-I-C-K-T-H-E-N-O-V-E-R-Y-O-U-B-E-T-T-E-R'

Sam nodded.

'S-T-U-P-I-D' Dean added.

His little brother giggled in a way that was so uniquely Sam behind the oxygen mask.

'B-E-I-N-G-W-I-T-H-Y-O-U'

'R-U-D-E' Dean smirked.

"Okay, I'm all set." Rachel picked up a syringe. "Local anaesthetic first."

'P-A-I-N-D-R-U-G-L-O-N-G-N-A-M-E'

'A-N-A-E-S-T-H-E-T-I-C-S-T-U-P-I-D' Sam replied.

Dean rolled his eyes.

Rachel injected the syringe before dropping it into a yellow container. She then picked up the next syringe. It was much larger than the previous. "Okay, this is the part that will be uncomfortable for him."

'R-E-A-D-Y-B-I-T-C-H?' Dean signed.

'J-E-R-K' Sam simply replied before screwing his eyes closed as Rachel leaned over the bed.

Rachel slowly began to push the needle of the syringe into the skin of Sam's chest until it reached the end.

Sam bucked slightly but Dean placed an arm lightly across his lower stomach keeping him in place, his other hand never leaving his brother's.

"Here will go. Nearly there." Pulling up the plunger of the syringe, the air began to be extracted from his chest until Sam's breaths audibly regulated. "There we go. Good boy." She smiled.

Dean smiled. 'D-O-N-E'

Sam squeezed his brother's hand.

'Y-O-U-D-O-T-H-A-T-A-G-A-I-N-M-E-K-I-L-L-Y-O-U'

Sam smirked.

"He's a fighter." Rachel stated, clearing away the supplies. She walked back round the bed and placed a small bandage over the injection site and secured it with medical tape. Offering a smile to Sam, she then turned to Dean. "And you mister, we need to find you another bed."

"I'm not leaving my brother." Dean began quickly.

"Woah, woah, did I say anything about that bed not being in this room?" Rachel asked.

Dean shook his head with a smile.

"I'll be back." She walked off out the room.

* * *

"You had that nurse wrapped around your little finger." Dean stated.

Sam smirked. "You did too. Supised you didn't flirt with her. You oosully do." He reached a hand up and rested his palm against his neck, knowing from the vibrations that he had pronounced some words wrong.

Dean took hold of the hand and brought it back down to his lap. "Don't need to correct it, Sam."

Sam smiled. "Force of habit."

Dean smirked.

A few seconds later, Sam spoke up once again. "Me was scared. Scared 'cause you gone. Thought..." His voice trailed off as he swallowed.

"Hey. Who wouldn't be scared in a situation like that? I would be scared if that happened to you." Dean explained. "But you know what?"

'What?' Sam signed.

"Some kick ass guy came and rescued me. I can't remember what he said his name was." Dean paused. "I think it was Clint Barton."

Sam hit him on the arm.

Dean burst out laughing.

"Dude, why me have to be some crappy archer?"

"He's not a crappy archer?! He's an Avenger!" Dean looked horrified.

"What'vr me still save your A-S-S.'

"You sure did, Hawkeye." Dean stated. "Now come on, I'm tired and you're gonna' be even more irritating then usual if you don't get any sleep."

That earned him another hit.

Dean laughed. "Stop hitting me, bitch!" He stood up from the edge of the bed and began walking towards his own.

'Jerk' Sam signed as he climbed into bed.

"Goodnight, Hawkeye."

Dean flicked off the light.


	4. Beneath The Skin

**Summary:** Tag to 1x06

* * *

'Split up.' Sam signed.

Dean scowled. "No, Sam."

Sam squinted as he tried to read his brother's lips but was unable. Despite this, he had a pretty solid idea what Dean had replied. He put a hand to his neck.

"Can't read lips too dark."

Dean went to sign but grimaced due to the pain in his shoulder.

Sam noticed this. "Don't." He paused. "Probably too dark for signs. Split save tie-mm meet back at 'Pala." Sam walked off.

Dean threw his hand up as his little brother walked off, shaking his head in disbelief. "Unbelievable." Not really having much choice but to follow the plan, he took the opposite direction to Sam.

* * *

Having found nothing, Sam returned to the Impala.

Dean walked over from across the street.

Sam held out his hand, fingers together as he imitated the shaking of keys.

Dean threw them over to him.

Sam caught them one-handed and proceeded to open the trunk.

Suddenly, hands clamped around his neck from behind and shoved him down against the metal lip of the trunk.

Sam struggled as he attempted to strike out at the form. All this earned him though was an elbow to the side of the head, sending stars flashing before his eyes. Momentarily incapacitated, he blinked dazedly as he willed his fingers to locate a weapon from the cache.

Hands pulled him away from the car before he was once against shoved forwards, his stomach and ribs harshly impacting against the bodywork of the Impala as he was held down half inside the trunk.

Sam could feel breaths on the back of his neck as the body, Dean's body, held him in place. He knew that the creature was talking to him, he just had no way of interpreting what it was trying to communicate, and that seemed to be gradually pissing it off more and more.

Another slam, this time sending his head slamming against the cover shelf of the weapons cache. Sam felt the warm trickle of blood as it meandered down his nose and chin from what he imagined was a cut on his forehead. This thing was a few more hits away from giving him a concussion.

The disorientation was the biggest problem. Each sudden shove and hit left him feeling dizzier and dizzier.

Mouthing the words to himself silently a few times, Sam quipped a grin.

He didn't need a hand at his neck for this one. This one came natural to him thanks to Dean's teaching.

"Fuck you!"

And with that, Sam was once again pulled away from the Impala slightly. Before he could even begin to prepare himself for the creature's next attack, the lid of the trunk descended mercilessly to deliver a harsh slam against his head and everything went dark.

* * *

Coming to, Sam groaned. He awoke to find himself lying on his side, hands tied behind his back, and something round his neck and chest restricting any movement. Sam rolled his eyes as he began to attempt untying his wrists.

Everything was silent, he realised. His hearing aids had been taken from him.

Vibrations appeared from behind him before the creature walked past, stopping in front of him. It knelt down before landing a slap across Sam's face.

The disorientation hadn't left him, especially not after the new blend from being struck with the trunk lid. Sam struggled to get his eyes to focus on the creature before him, spitting out blood from his mouth onto the cold stone below him. He groaned slightly before shooting the creature a glare.

"Wh-air is mmm-mm-my brrr-other?"

Sam simply didn't have the strength to concentrate on the creature's lips. He made out 'freak' and 'babysitting' and 'your defective ass' but not much else. The room felt like it was spinning and was sure he definitely had that concussion now. His first priority, after finding his brother, was to not throw up. A hand gripping his chin broke him from his thoughts, forcing him to stare the creature in the eye.

With it's other hand, the creature pulled his hearing aids out of it's pocket. With a laugh, it threw them to the floor.

Knowing immediately what it was going to do. "No!" He shouted.

The creature slammed it's fist down.

The plastic of the hearing aids shattered, the shards scattering across the floor. The ear buds flew off in various directions, and various electrical elements lay cracked and useless.

Sam saw the creature laughing before it plucked up a sheet and threw it over him, shrouding him in white.

Vibrations surrounded him as he presumed the creature was rising to it's feet.

Sam began to hurl insult after insult at it, silenced only when a punch was slammed across his face, the darkness welcoming him once again.

* * *

Hands touching his chest and shoulders brought him round once again. He was still lying on his side, but his head was cushioned on something soft and he was no longer bound. Sam moaned in pain.

'S-my.' Someone traced into his hand.

Cracking an eye open, he found himself lying across Dean, head in his lap. He looked up at his brother and smiled.

Dean carded a hand through his hair.

"Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty."

Sam rolled his eyes but immediately regretted it as the action irritated the concussion he was clearly suffering from.

Dean must have spotted the signs too as he wrapped his arms tight around his little brother's chest and tipped him on his side just before Sam began to empty the contents of his stomach onto the ground. Once he was finished spewing, Dean guided Sam gently back down to his lap.

"Next time we don't split up, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Sam spoke.

Dean smirked. "You okay?"

Finding that feeling had returned to his fingers, Sam began to sign. 'Fine' He glanced over at the pile of ruined hearing aids. 'R-I-P'

Dean followed his gaze. "We'll get you new ones."

Sam shook his head.

'Can't afford.'

"Dude, we could cover the cost of them in like one game of pool." Dean smirked. "It's about time you got re-fit for those things anyway."

'Liked those ones.'

Dean smirked, rolling his eyes. "You hated those things."

Sam smirked too. 'Died honourable death.'

"Come on." Dean slowly got to his feet, helping his little brother to slowly do the same. He threw an arm across Sam's shoulder to take his weight.

'But shape turn see B-E-C-C-A.'

"Oh, no, no, no, you are done, dude." Dean replied. "I'll call Bobby, see if he can send someone down here to help out. You've got a date with a motel bed."

'Me fine.'

"Sammy, don't lie." Dean stated. "Please, just let me take care of you."

'Not invilid'

"Never said you were, but if I was the one with the concussion, you would bench me too."

Sam sighed. 'Fine.'

He felt a vibration.

'Phone ringing.'

Dean furrowed an eyebrow as he reached into his pocket and sure enough, Sam was right. He answered it.

Sam wasn't able to see what his brother was saying as his face was turned away from him. He hit his brother on the side to challenge this but was ignored.

When Dean put his phone away, he eventually turned back to Sam. He immediately noticed the expression of anger.

"What?"

'Seriously?!'

"Shut up, Sam." Dean replied before beginning to walk them out of the warehouse.

When they reached the Impala, Sam climbed inside before slamming the door closed behind him.

Dean entered silently. He turned the key in the ignition before driving away. They were halfway back to the motel before Sam spoke up.

"That thing pretending to be you back there said stuff. Strong stuff 'bout me, or 'least how you feel 'bout me..." Sam began. "Look, De, I big boy now so just tell me straight, do you want me around or are you better on own?"

Dean furrowed an eyebrow, his expression horrified. "What the fuck, no!"

"Sure?"

"Yes!"

"Good." Sam nodded. "Then stop treating me like idiot. If you do, I go."

Dean smiled with pride. "Okay, Sammy."

'Knew wasn't you.'

"How?"

'Wasn't stupid enough.' Sam smirked.

Dean laughed.

'Freezing my ass off. Can we go motel now?' Sam pulled his jacket tighter around himself.

"Sorry, Princess." Dean shuffled back across the seat and once again turned the key in the ignition.

Sam smiled as the Impala rumbled, her vibrations travelling through his body from the leather bench. "Jerk."

"Bitch."


	5. Little 'd'

**One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

"Agents." The Sheriff greeted them with a smile as they walked in.

"Agent Page and Plant. My partner is deaf but he can read lips so just talk as you usually would but make sure you're looking at him when you speak." Dean explained.

The Sheriff nodded before he began to sign.

'Welcome. Your first time in the state?'

Sam was pleasantly surprised at the Sheriff's knowledge.

'No our Uncle lives in South Dakota so we been through here a lot.'

'Our?'

Sam pointed to Dean before signing. 'Brother.'

'Father must be proud of two F-B-I sons.'

'You have no idea.' Sam scoffed slightly. 'Me interview witnesses?'

'Go ahead.'

Sam walked off.

"I'm glad he understood me, my sign language is a little rusty." The Sheriff stated.

"Nah, Sam was impressed." Dean smiled.

"One of the kids I used to work with was deaf when I was on the force. I had to learn it all very quickly but it's very rewarding in the long run." The Sheriff smiled. "Elder brother I presume?" The Sheriff asked.

Dean nodded.

"Yeah, the pride gave it away. He's something special that kid."

"Don't let him see you say that, he'll get pissed thinking you're pitying him."

"Your brother is the highest up I've ever seen a deaf kid, he's clearly a smarter man that I am." He smiled.

Sam was stood talking to a mother and her three-year-old son. Taking the notepad out of the pocket of his suit, he crouched down in front of the boy and handed over the notepad and pen. A hand was at his neck as he instructed the boy on what to do.

Dean smiled. "Makes me look like an idiot half the time."

The boy smiled causing Sam to do the same as they continued to exchange the notepad back and forth between them.

"My brother is unapologetic and I love that about him. People have their thoughts and suggestions for him and he just shrugs it all off. You know how some people can be, well Sam has met way more than his fair share of 'em, and he's sent each on of them walking off with their tail between their legs."

"He's Deaf and Proud then?"

"Proud is an understatement, but we didn't have it great growing up so my brother didn't get to experience the whole deaf community out there. He met a few other kids with hearing impairments at some of the schools we went to, but our Dad didn't really give him much of a chance to go out and do his own thing. It was sorta' just me and him. He doesn't give a shit that he's deaf, but he doesn't consider himself a part of the community."

"He tell you that or is all this just a guess?" The Sheriff asked. "The kid might surprise yah'."

"One of the hearing impaired kids back at school asked him whether he was a part of it. Sam learned a lot from that kid and so did I. We knew sign language, obviously, but we didn't know that there was a whole bunch of terms that came with being deaf too. Like, big 'D' and little 'd'."

"Which one was he? Little 'd'?"

Dean nodded. "My Dad was great when Sam was younger. He couldn't have done more to help him with learning signs, and reading, but then he just seemed to lose interest. As soon as Dad found himself out of his depth, he gave up. Then he started being absent for longer and longer periods of time until he just dumped us permanently at our uncle's. Dad never placed Sam in a deaf school so he sorta' just had to adapt the best he could, not that he knew anything different anyway. He's never really seen the point of being part of the community because whether the person he's talking to is hearing or deaf he'll still find a way to talk to them, or explain to them how to best communicate with him. He's always been around hearing people and he likes that."

Someone knocked behind him.

Turning, Sam was standing by the doorway.

"Looks like we're done here." Dean offered the Sheriff a smile.

"Thank you for coming down, we really appreciate the help."

Dean nodded before walking over to Sam who held out the notepad as he approached. He took it and began to read through the transcript of notes passed back and forth between Sam and the boy as they walked down the corridor of the Sheriff's Office and out to the parking lot.

"So the killer somehow manages to get into the apartments of it's victims without them hearing him."

Unlocking the Impala, they climbed in before driving off.

"Y'h and they all killed same way, knife through heart. But range was close. Really close. Don't know how it managed all this without one of vics try-ing to defend 'emselves. All asleep at time. No sign of struggle at any of the scenes." Sam explained, signing as spoke.

"Weird."

"What-ever it is, it knows what it is doing."

* * *

Turning the key into the motel room lock, Sam walked inside. Flicking on the light, he gasped and drew his gun in seconds, aiming it at the figure across the room.

Dean did the same.

"Easy." John spoke up.

He threw his gun onto the bed. 'Dad?' Sam signed. 'Here why?'

"I need your brother."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

Dean gently nudged Sam forwards so that he could close the door before standing beside him.

"Why just me?" His hands signed along in Sam's direction just in case he couldn't read his lips.

"Bobby told me about this case you're working and I think it would be best if me and you handled it together. And anyway, Bobby said he could use some help at his place with some research."

'Fuck that.' Sam signed.

John furrowed an eyebrow.

Dean smirked.

"What did he say?" John asked.

"I'm not your interpreter, you should know what he's saying. He's your fucking son!"

'No.' Sam added. 'No we not do this again.'

Dean knew that Sam was only not speaking out of spite.

"Sam, this thing is a near perfect hunter and has managed to kill six people without raising any alarm, and they were hearing. If you work this case than you are going to get yourself or Dean killed." John stated.

Dean grabbed his brother by the shoulder, holding him back from doing something stupid.

'Fuck you! How dare you say I will get him killed. How dare you! Where have you been if you care about Dean's protection so much?!' Sam's signing always became impossibly fast as he became angry but Dean still managed to understand what his brother was saying.

"Sam stop it."

Sam's eyes widened in disbelief as he turned to his brother with a look of 'Did he really just fucking tell me to stop signing?!' Scoffing, he shrugged Dean's hand from his shoulder before sticking his finger up and storming out the door.

Dean turned to John. "You want that interpreted too or are you good?" He asked sarcastically before shaking his head. "Jesus christ, Dad." Dean muttered under his breath, heading to go follow Sam outside. As he reached the door though, Dean stopped and turned back.

"Do you realise that you are the source of 99% of Sam's self-confidence issues? You and you alone. Like today Sam interviewed some folks down at the Sheriff's Office. Yesterday he reassured a victim that had been caught up in the crap we hunt. Last week he saved my ass when we got separated in the woods and I let the thing get the drop on me. He also went to fucking Stanford by himself for three years." He paused. "It's you, Dad. It's all fucking you. Because you just used to constantly chip away at his confidence, and you still do it now. He hid himself away. He thought he was useless." He paused once again. "That ends now because there is no way that you are going to treat him like that anymore. Sam is an amazing hunter, he's confident, he's caring, he's good at research, and like I said, he's saved my ass more times than I can count. You don't treat me like this, so you don't get to treat him like that. I will admit that I didn't stand up to you as much as I should've back then when you were being a dick to Sammy but I certainly will now. He doesn't care that he's deaf, so get your head out of your ass and just accept your own fucking son for what he is."

"Dean..."

"Do I look like I'm finished?" Dean interrupted sternly. "If you can't accept him than we don't need you. Me and Sammy are more than capable of working this case, and every other case that we will work in the future. I want you gone, you're not good for Sammy and I can barely look at you right now. If you finally have an epihany that makes you realise how badly you've treated him over the last 22 years then give us a call and we'll work from there. Until then, stay away from us." Dean opened the door of the motel. "Close the door behind you on the way out." The door slammed closed.


	6. Just My Imagination

**Summary:** Tag to 11x08

* * *

The pad below his pillow began to vibrate.

Sam groaned as he reached his hand out and hit the top of the alarm, ending its buzzing. Getting out of bed, he picked up his medication tub and walked down the corridor into the kitchen. He grabbed the coffee pot before making his way over to the sink and turning on the faucet. Filling the pot as well as a glass, Sam popped the three pills and down them with the water from the water before walking back over to the coffee maker. As he did so, Sam noticed something in the corner of his eye.

The table was filled with a buffet of rainbow coloured candy, cakes, and snacks.

'What the hell?' Sam thought before turning to look towards the door. His eyes widened in seconds as he realised someone was standing behind him. Throwing a punch, he then grabbed the thing by the collar.

"Who are you?" He shouted.

The thing was dazed for a few seconds before it began to sign.

'It's me. It's Sully!'

Sam furrowed an eyebrow. "What?"

'Remember me? Made your favourite food. We're friends. We were best friends. Remember?'

Despite how much that knew this couldn't be real, Sam was shocked as the memories of Sully came back to him.

"Sully?"

'Yeah.'

Sam shook his head. "No, no, no. You not real."

'How you punch me then?'

"This can't be happening." He noticed another figure approaching. It was Dean. ' _Oh boy..._ ' He thought.

Dean walked round to him. "Dude, who you talking to?'

"Him." Sam stated quickly with an expression of 'Duh' accompanying it.

Dean furrowed an eyebrow. "Are you having a stroke? Do you smell toast?"

Sam shot him a bitch face before looking to Sully.

'He can't see me unless I want him to.'

Dean began to examine the table full of food. "What the fuck is all this?"

"That wasn't me."

'It was me.' Sully stated.

Dean glanced back over, doing a double take as he did.

Sam noticed this. "Wait. You see him?"

Dean nodded. "Uh-huh."

"D'n, this is, well, I think it's Sully. He my friend when I was a kid." Sam explained.

"You mean Mork from Ork here is your dumbass imaginary friend, Sully?'

Sam nodded.

'I not dumb or ass.'

"He's signing." Dean stated.

'Well yeah. I was Sam's imaginary friend. We talk to our kids in their native language. For Sam that was A-S-L.'

Sam smiled.

"I'm gonna' get my gun." Dean went to walk off.

"No, please..." Sully spoke.

Dean turned to him.

"Someone killed my friend."

"You mean your imaginary imaginary friend?" Dean stated.

"First off, "imaginary friend" is more of a descriptive term. How you just said it, that was a little...offensive, just to be honest. Secondly, we're Zanna. Me and...me and the victim we're Zanna. We help kids. We're the good guys." He turned to Sam. 'Tell him, Sam.'

Sam nodded. "Yeah, okay. Um...you know what, I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything. You know, you being real."

"Aww." He smiled. 'Yes, no, no, of course. That's okay. Totally okay. This is all really unexpected.'

"Yeah, that's one word for it."

'I need your help. You help people. This is what you do, right? You help people.'

"Yeah, people. You are not that." Dean stated.

"D'n, come on." Sam spoke up.

"Come on? Are you kiddi...this...mother...You and me, library, right now. Come on!"

Sam walked off out of the kitchen.

Dean followed.

Sully followed too.

"Ah!" Dean shouted.

Sully jumped, startled. "Yeah, no. I'll just stay here. Coolio."

Dean walked after his brother.

* * *

Getting out of the Impala, Dean scowled at the outfit Sam had made him wear.

"Good. The Bert and Ernie pretext. Awesome."

"D'n, you didn't have to come." Sam stated.

"You know, this whole imaginary friend thing was dumb then and it's dumb now."

"Yeah, you've made that pretty clear." Sam sighed.

"You didn't think to tell me he was real?" Dean asked.

"I didn't think he was. You saw the lore. Maybe when I was nine I thought he was but I grew up. Or out of it. Whatever. Just leave it."

"What did you need him for the in the first place?"

"I was kind of a lonely kid, D'n."

"You weren't lonely. You had me!"

* * *

 _'You need to wear your hearing aids B-U-D-D-Y' Sully signed with a smile._

 _Sam, who was lying on his bed, shook his head._

 _'But they're really cool'_

 _Sam pulled a face._

 _'Are you worried about Dean and your Dad?'_

 _Sam didn't respond for a few seconds before he sniffled lightly and nodded. 'They said they be back by now'_

 _'They'll be fine, B-U-D-D-Y'_

 _'You don't know that for sure'_

 _'Well I think that Dean would be sad if he knew that you were upset because of him. I know you're worried B-U-D but it's only going to feel worse if you think about it all day. Let's do something fun instead to pass the time.'_

 _'Okay'_

 _Sully smiled. 'Would you maybe put your hearing aids in for me?' Please?_

 _A few seconds later, Sam's hand came out across the gap between the beds._

 _Handing them over, Sully watched as Sam popped them into his ears. 'There you go. Now you look awesome!'_

 _Sam smiled._

 _'You wanna practice your lipreading?'_

 _'Tired' Sam signed in response._

 _'Maybe just for a little while? Then we can do something fun, or just N-A-P.'_

 _Despite still being a little reluctant, Sam swung his legs over the side of the bed and walked over to the couch. He sat down and wriggled backwards until he was sitting back against the soft-ish cushions._

 _Sully poofed next to him before clicking his fingers making the TV turn on._

 _Sam giggled. 'Lazy'_

 _Sully laughed with a shrug._

 _The first show that appeared was an old sitcom. Sully quickly went through the channels until he came to the news._

 _The news was always the easiest way for him to practice his lipreading because the reporters always faced straight ahead meaning that he could easily concentrate unlike other shows where the camera moved around too much for him to keep up with the characters and what they were saying._

 _'Okay B-U-D let's do this' Sully encouraged with a smile._

* * *

A gentle hand on his shoulder brought him from his memory.

'Sam?' It was Sully. 'Why you not wearing your hearing aids?' He asked.

Sam reached a hand up to his ear to confirm it. Before he could answer, Sully disappeared. "Forgot." He answered anyway.

A few seconds later, Sully reappeared. 'Here.' He signed before holding out Sam's hearing aids.

Sam smiled. 'Thank you.' He quickly shoved them in.

'Least one thing hasn't changed.' Sully smiled.

Sam laughed. 'Forgetful.'

'I know.'


	7. First Meeting

**Summary:** Tag to 4x01 - Sam and Cas' first meeting is anything but straight forward

* * *

Frantic tapping on his arm brought Dean back round. Flickering his eyes open, Sam was stood beside the bed.

'TV' He signed.

Dean turned to the TV set by the wall, the screen was white and crackling while squealing slightly. He quickly shoved the book off his lap before clambering across the bed and grabbing his shotgun, knowing exactly where he'd heard that noise before. Aim locked on the door, Dean's eyes were fixed and ready to fire.

"Gah..." Sam cried in distress behind him.

Dean turned in an instant.

Sam quickly discarded his hearing aids before clamping his hands over his ears.

"Sam?!" Dean's eyes widened, dropping the gun and crossing the short distance to his brother, placing his hand on Sam's shoulder. 'Sam? What wrong?' He signed, but his brother was preoccupied.

"Ahhhh!" Sam screamed, eyes scrunched together. A trickle of blood began to flow from his ears.

"Shit! Sam!" In a few seconds the high pitched squeal he had heard at the gas station erupted in the room causing Dean to mirror his little brother as the sound became more and more painful.

But how could Sam hear it?

Sam was sobbing now, dropping to his knees on the floor and falling down the rest of the way until he abruptly made contact with the carpet. His hands scratched at his ears as he cried out in agony.

"Sam, Sammy!" Dean struggled, kneeling down next to his brother. "Guh!" He moaned himself before hearing a crack from above them.

The mirror was beginning to shatter.

"Shit!" Grabbing Sam forcibly, Dean shoved him out the way just before the shards of glass rained down from the ceiling.

"Dean!" Screamed a voice that wasn't Sam's.

Looking up, it was Bobby.

Hands were soon grabbing hold of his arm.

"No, get Sam! Bobby, get Sam!" Dean shouted before looking down at his brother.

Sam was deathly still.

Dean's eyes widened. "Sammy!"

Bobby quickly scooped an arm under the youngest Winchester and took his unconscious weight before helping him outside. Sitting him down so that he was propped against the brick wall, Bobby then sprinted back inside and did the same with Dean, who was, thankfully for Bobby's back, still conscious.

* * *

"Should we really be doing this right now, I mean we only just got him vaguely vertical."

Sam was sat on the floor, back leaning against the wall.

Bobby shrugged. "Probably not."

"Here goes nothing then."

Nodding, Bobby began to chant. After ten minutes, nothing had happened.

"You sure you did that right?"

Bobby shot him a look.

"Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?"

The roof began to rattle above them.

"Wishful thinking but maybe that's just the wind."

Sam's eyes rose to look up at the ceiling having felt the vibrations of the rattle through the wall and floor.

Dean and Bobby grabbed their guns.

Suddenly, Sam began to scream, hands immediately flying to his ears.

"Sammy?" Dean dropped the gun and rushed over to the brother. "Sammy!" He looked to Bobby. "Why can't we hear it this time?"

Before he could answer, the lights began to explode above them as shattering glass rained down. As the doors of the barn swung open, Sam's cries of pain were drowned out by the wind.

A man entered through the doors.

Bobby immediately started firing on him as Dean grabbed for his own and began doing the same.

After their magazines emptied, the man was still standing.

The doors swung closed.

Sam's cries had stopped.

"Who are you?" Dean asked.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." The man answered.

Sam gasped, eyes wide.

Dean turned to him, panic in his expression. 'Sam what wrong?'

The man noticed the language being exchanged and turned his head to Sam.

"He can hear me."

Dean furrowed an eyebrow, turning to his brother for confirmation.

'I heard something'

'What he say?'

'Don't know just noise' Sam signed in reply. 'D'n, how hear him? I don't hear demons. How hear him?'

Dean's expression was that of pure rage as he got to his feet and grabbed the man forcibly by the collar.

"What are you doing to my brother?!" He shouted.

"Not a single thing, Dean." The man answered before shrugging out of Dean's grip and walking to Bobby. He slowly placed a finger to his forehead.

As contact was made, Bobby slumped to the floor.

"No!" Sam screamed, scrambling across the floor to him. "B'by! B'by!" He began to shake him.

Dean rushed over and immediately placed two fingers against Bobby's neck. He soon released a breath he didn't realise he was holding as he felt a steady beat against his fingers.

"Sam, Sam." He gently placed a hand to his brother's shoulder. 'Look me.' He signed.

Sam's eyes raised.

'Not dead. Not dead.'

Sam still looked freaked, eyes maintaining contact with Bobby's limp form on the floor.

'Stay here.' Dean offered his brother a reassuring smile before standing up and walking back over to the man once again. "I'm gonna' ask you again, who the fuck are you?" He asked sternly.

"Castiel."

Dean once again heard a whimper from a very confused Sam as he spoke.

"Okay then, what are you? And how can my brother hear you?"

"I'm an angel of the lord, and I believe that Sam can hear me because of this."

"There's no such thing as angels."

"Then how can your profoundly deaf brother hear the sound of my voice?" Castiel paused. "You see, Dean, this is your problem. You have no faith."

Lightening flashed through the barn creating a shadow on the far wall of a grand pair of wings.

Dean scoffed. "Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be..." Castiel turned to Sam. "...overwhelming, and so can my real voice. But I think you both know that."

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?"

Castiel nodded.

"Buddy, next time, lower the volume." Dean too turned to check on Sam. "Or learn ASL."

"That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong." Castiel slowly walked towards Sam and knelt down in front of him.

'C-A-S-T-I-E-L' He fingerspelt.

Sam's eyes followed the signs.

'S-A-M'

Castiel nodded. 'I know.'

'You sign?'

'I speak every language on Earth, including A-S-L.'

Sam paused. 'What are you?'

'Angel of the Lord'

Sam's eyes widened. 'That why I hear you?'

Castiel nodded. 'Sorry for that. I just attempt to talk.'

Sam nodded. 'You saved D-E-A-N?'

'Yes.'

Sam smiled. 'Thank you.'

Castiel nodded before raising a hand and motioning towards Sam's ear. 'May I?'

'Sure.'

Castiel raised two fingers and gently touched Sam's ear. 'There. Pain should be gone now and the ringing.'

Sam put his fingers to his ear and immediately the blood was gone. 'So I hear you cause you angel?'

"Yes." Castiel spoke.

The weird sound of words made Sam's ears tingle. Not in an unpleasant, painful way anymore, but it was still quite strange.

"You shouldn't feel anymore pain when I speak now."

Sam followed Castiel's lips before nodding. He was silent for a few seconds before speaking up. 'What I hear, these what talking sound like?'

Castiel nodded.

"Say D'n."

"Dean."

Sam took in the deep sound of the pronunciation. It also lasted longer on the tongue then he'd previously realised. It was just wrong and he didn't like the sound.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Dean asked angrily, walking over. He turned to his brother. "I swear to god if you try to copy how my name is sounded out rather than speaking it your own way then I will refuse to acknowledge it that way until you say it properly, do you understand?"

"Yes." Sam nodded.

"Yes what?" That last question wasn't an authority thing, Dean just wanted to make sure Sam wouldn't attempt the alternate version.

"Yes, D'n."

Dean smiled. "I never want to hear it any other way."

Sam smiled too.

"And you, holy tax accountant, you still haven't explained what the fuck you want from us."

"From Sam, nothing, but you, you have a part to play."

"In what?"

"Everything."


	8. Tag to 12x01

**Summary:** Tag to 12x01 - Toni's interrogation doesn't go as smoothly as she'd originally planned

* * *

"Guh..." Sam moaned as he found himself coming painfully to. The vet had given that woman something that he presumed was anesthesia judging by how he'd obviously been unconscious during their journey to wherever the hell this was.

Cattle prod. Certainly felt like one. Taking a minute to assess, his feet were bare, his ankles were bound, the bullet hole in his leg was sutured but still hurt like a son of a bitch, and speaking of bitches, she'd chained his hands behind the back of the chair.

 _Oh yeah, she'd clearly done her research...I know, let's interrogate the deaf guy by taking away his main source of communication. Fucking idiots..._

Focusing back on the scene in front of him, Sam looked to the blonde woman.

 _My god, is she still talking..._

She eventually paused, her gaze expectant, as if waiting for him to respond to whatever she had said.

Sam scoffed.

"Something funny?" He lipread.

"I deaf, dumb-ass. But do carry on..." Sam grinned.

As soon as the words left his mouth, the blonde woman's eyes widened. She was speechless and cattle prod girl didn't seem any better.

"I just sit here while you try whatever you were gonna try. Good luck with that."

The blonde woman's face changed in seconds, an expression of fury rising to the surface as she walked towards him.

"Doesn't change anything. You can talk, you just proved that, and the records say you're the smart one so I have no doubt that you're able to lipread."

Sam simply ignored her.

"Whatever. Let me introduce myself once again. Toni Bevell, Men of Letters - London Chapter House. We have a few questions about you, your brother, hunters in America, and how you saved the Sun."

Sam laughed.

"Oh, so he does lipread." Toni smiled. "Good boy."

"Release hands and I talk." Sam stated. "Not before."

"You're talking now. Why would I unchain you when you could escape?"

"Lady, the only words you hear me speak will be _screw you_ , unless you release hands."

"No." She answered.

"Fine." Sam nodded. "Then screw you."

Toni looked to cattle prod girl and motioned to something. A few seconds later, little miss sunshine walked over to him and began to un-link the chains on his hands. She carefully unlocked one hand at a time so that she could keep him pinned down to the chair. Pulling each hand round in front of him she then applied shackles to his wrists before threading the chain through the large industrial bolt loop embedded in the floor.

The bindings were thicker than the ones which previously held him to the chair, but the chain was much longer allowing movement.

Sam rubbed his sore wrists for a few seconds before smirking.

"So, who knows ASL?" He grinned. "Oh that right. You _British_...Sorry, I not know BSL." Sam stated sarcastically.

Toni turned to cattle prod girl once again and barked something at her. Little miss sunshine was quick to respond to the order and got out her phone before appearing to call someone.

"You know, as interrogations go, you are doing terrible." Sam spoke up. "Just thought to mention that."

Cattle prod girl growled before a punch was landed across his face and everything went black.

* * *

Coming to once again to the feeling of little miss sunshine's cattle prod, Sam's eyes flickered open before they fell upon the new arrival.

'The dancing monkey arrived' He mocked.

Toni looked to the translator but he just shook his head in annoyance.

Sam gazed around the room before turning to Toni.

'Where we?'

"He asked where we are." The translator relayed.

"Does it matter?" She asked, dryly.

'Just wondering how far I need walk back to town after I kill you, and her'

Toni smirked. "Before you murder us all, how about we crack on with those questions?"

'Right so you shoot and kidnap me but you want my help?!' Sam laughed. 'That cute'

"I didn't want to hurt you Sam, you gave me no choice. And, well I could say that it was never supposed to go this way but you're...well you're you. It was always going to go this way."

'Lady, I think you both proved very well so far that you had no idea what you were dealing with' Sam smirked. 'I mean, did British M-O-L really have guy who know ASL? That very specific for people who just traveled here over pond to kidnap me'

"We've been watching you and your brother for years." Toni stated.

'And yet you not know I deaf' He smirked once again. 'You need to fire your researcher'

"Ever since you almost ended the world the first time, we've been keeping you two under our radar. We knew all about Lucifer, the angels falling."

'Then where were you?!'

"Fair question. See, some of us wanted to get involved, but the old men wouldn't allow it. Thought we were overstepping our bounds. After all this business with the darkness, even they had to agree, things need to change. And while you might not believe this, Sam, we're here to help."

Sam scoffed. 'Yeah I can tell'

"I would apologise for locking you up but you're dangerous, to others and yourself. But if you answer my questions then you'll walk right out that door, I promise."

'Pass'

"Sam..."

'You can ask any questions you want. Like said before, answer is screw you' Sam paused. 'Go ahead. Get mad. Get mean. I been tortured by Devil himself. What you possibly do worse?'

Toni slowly put the cap back on her Parker pen before clicking it on. She then nodded to cattle prod girl.

"Well...you'll just have to wait and see." She grinned.


	9. Tag to 12x02

**Summary:** Tag to 12x02 - Dean and Cas to the rescue

* * *

Dean groaned as whoever this British chick was pulled him towards the basement. As the door opened, his eyes widened.

There, was Sam. Bloodied and bruised, he was clearly fighting to stay conscious.

"What did you do to my brother?!" Dean demanded. "I told you on the phone what would happen if you dared to lay a finger on him."

"Be a good boy and shut up." She guided him down the steps before shackling him to one of the support posts.

Eyes never leaving his little brother, Dean watched as recognition kicked in on Sam's expression.

* * *

Dean was alive!

How is Dean alive?

She's going to kill Dean.

Hundreds of thoughts ran through Sam's head as Toni began to punch Dean. He desperately tried to wake up in case this was just another of British bitch's mind games. He seemed pretty conscious though which meant that that was real Dean taking real damage a few feet across the room from him.

"Stop!" Sam shouted.

Toni smirked. "He speaks! Welcome back to the party, Sam. You're just in time for the entertainment." She walked over to the bench and picked up a large pointed metal rod. "Did you know that it's possible to die from pain? Step one, target one of the parts of the body most sensitive to it. And step two, inflict said pain." Toni walked over to Dean. "Decaying tooth. Below the belt, of course, as well as my favourite is under the eyelid." She smirked wickedly before slowly raising the rod to Dean's ear and positioning it against the soft skin behind it. "But I think, given the circumstances, the best choice would be the eardrum."

Sam's eyes widened in seconds. "No!" He screamed. "Don't! Please...Don't do this!"

A few seconds later, Dean and British bitch reacted to something.

Sam turned in the same direction as their gaze, his eyes widening as he did so.

"Mom?"

At the foot of the steps, there she stood. Dressed in typical Winchester attire, her focus was dead set on Toni. Gun cocked and ready to shoot, she meant business.

But how? What was she doing here? She couldn't be back...could she? And why didn't Dean look shocked too? Did Dean bring her here?

Before he could continue his thought process, Toni landed an elbow to his face and everything went black.

* * *

"Ughhhh..."

A hand was lightly tapping him on the cheek.

He moaned in pain once again before flickering his eyes slowly open.

"Hiya, Sammy." Dean smiled, kneeling in front of the chair he was chained to.

Sam couldn't help but feel tearful. "D'n..."

"What happened?" Sam looked around, noticing Toni and some other guy stood next to each other by the steps, and of course, Mom. "What?"

A tap on his cheek had his gaze returning to Dean. "I'll answer every question you got, but let's get you out of here first, yeah?" His brother reassured before furrowing an eyebrow. "Where are your hearing aids?"

He shrugged, they weren't really top of his list of priorities right now. There was a much, much bigger priority. "D'n...meds."

Dean furrowed an eyebrow before realisation kicked in. "Shit! You haven't had any in two days?"

Sam nodded.

Dean cursed once again before he turned around. A few seconds later, Cas walked over too.

"Cas!" Sam exclaimed with a smile. "You okay? She poofed you at bunker."

Cas smiled too. "I'm fine, it's you that you should be worrying about." He knelt down next to Dean. "This may hurt."

Sam nodded. He knew the drill by now.

Cas raised two fingers and gently placed them on the youngest Winchester's forehead. Sam hissed in pain slightly for a few seconds before he was fully healed.

"Thank you." Sam smiled.

Dean began to undo the bindings on Sam's wrists. "Cas you need to go to the Impala and grab Sam's..." Before Dean could even finish his sentence, Cas was nodding and rushing off.

Dean smiled.

Sam did too.

A minute later, Cas returned, even having the thought to grab a bottle of water from his own car too.

"Here." The pills were already popped and ready to go. Cas knelt down in front of the youngest Winchester and held each of them out to him.

With free hands, Sam took the glass before downing the pills.

Sam smiled, graciously.

Cas nodded before joining Dean in undoing Sam's remaining bindings. When he was released, they each took a side, pulling one of Sam's arms over their shoulders to take his weight as the exhaustion kicked in.

By time they reached the Impala, Sam felt as if he could sleep for a month. Dean offered him shotgun but he declined, instead opting to take the backseat with Cas. The angel got settled in first before Sam shuffled in too. Deciding that the chick flick moment rule didn't apply with Cas, Sam leant down and rested his head on his shoulder.

'Dean never let us hear end of this' Cas signed with a smirk.

Sam laughed. 'Who cares. You shoulder surprisingly comfortable'

'Thank you for that compliment' Cas joked.

'You're welcome' And with that, he closed his eyes.

The gentle and calming sound of Cas' humming was accompanied a few seconds later by the rumbling vibration of the Impala's engine. Sam found himself falling naturally into a peaceful sleep.

He was finally home.

* * *

A light touch on his shoulder brought him back around. Looking around with bleary eyes, he noticed that Cas and Mom had already left the Impala. They were parked up in the garage and Dean was standing, leaning in.

"Hey, sleepy head." His brother smiled softly with a smirk.

Sam yawned before speaking up. "D'n?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't..." He began before sighing and looking down, playing with his fingers as he did so.

"Bunk up." Dean tapped his brother twice on the arm before climbing into the back seat alongside him. 'What wrong?' He signed.

'Mom'

'What about her?'

'Where I even start? What do I say?' Sam replied, eyes filled with unshed tears.

Dean smiled softly. "You'll be fine, kiddo. I promise."

"That not what I mean." Sam spoke up quietly. "D'n..." He sighed. 'How do I tell her I deaf?'

And that's when Dean's heart shattered. His little brother looked so pained as he opened up about his anxieties, it was truly soul-crushing to see him so upset about this.

"Sam..." He began in a quiet tone. 'Mom love you. She always has from the day you born. That not changed. I know everything with Dad was R-O-C-K-Y at best of time but she not like that.'

"But what if?" Sam stopped. 'I not want her to blame self. I not want to upset her. I could pretend until she settle in. Until she use to everything.' He paused once again. 'I just not want her to leave again.'

"Sam, you are amazing as you are. And I know that sounds cheesy but it's true. I don't want you pretending to be anything for anyone, including Mom. She's a big girl, she can handle this. She has to." Dean paused. "Anyway, how the fuck would you even have pretended anyway?"

Sam smirked with a shrug. "Well I didn't exactly think it through, it just idea."

"A terrible idea."

"Oh like you never had bad idea."

"I will have you know that I am a genius." Dean raised his eyebrows twice in comedic effect.

"Oh cause you read M-O-L books?"

"Damn right." Dean smirked. "And I saved your ass back there."

"Took you long enough." Sam quipped with a smirk.

Dean just looked at him. "Don't quote me to me!"


	10. Tag to 12x03

**Summary:** Tag to 12x03 - Mom leaving hits Sam hard

* * *

"Mom, it's okay, you're home now." Dean explained, walking closer to Mom.

Mom's gaze rose to him. "No."

Dean looked confused.

"I'm not..." She took a breath. "I miss John, I miss my boys."

"We're right here, Mom." Sam spoke up.

"I know." Mary nodded. "In my head."

Sam didn't really know what she meant but still nodded.

"But I'm still mourning them, as I knew them. My baby, Sam. My little boy, Dean. It just feels like yesterday, we were together in Heaven, and now...I'm here, and John is gone, and they're gone, and every moment I spend with you reminds, every moment I lost with them."

Realisation slowly appeared in Dean's expression.

Sam screamed internally, begging, pleading with his Mom not to do this. The words hadn't left her mouth yet, but he knew what was coming.

"And I thought hunting, working, would clear my head..."

"Mom..." Sam could feel his throat shaking as he forced the words out. "...what you trying to say?"

"I have to go." She stated.

Dean's jaw clenched in anger as he turned his head away, eyes filled with unshed tears he was refusing to let fall.

Sam lowered his head, closing his eyes for a few seconds as he tried to breath through it before forcing his gaze back up to his Mom.

"I'm sorry..." She turned to Dean. "I'm so sorry. I just need a little time."

Mom went to step closer to Dean but he backed away from her, eyes refusing to meet her gaze. Clearly hurt by this, Mary reached over and picked up Dad's journal from the table before crossing the short distance to Sam.

"I love you." She pulled him down into a hug before turning to Dean. "I love both of you."

And with that, she walked out the library into the war room before shoving the journal into her duffel and walking up the steps.

The vibration of the door slamming closed caused Sam to flinch. Screwing his eyes closed, Sam took a couple of deep breaths as he desperately tried to not cry.

After a few seconds, Sam opened his eyes and looked to his brother.

Dean was leant forward, hands resting of one of the library chairs. Anger was radiating off him but his expression was nothing more than pure emotion. He looked distraught, even though he was making a good effort to try and hide it.

"D'n..." Sam spoke up, softly.

Dean slammed a hand against the chair sending it smacking into the library table causing Sam to jump before he stormed off.

He wanted to go after his brother. He wanted to comfort him and say that it was all going to be okay, that Mom would be back, and that they would be a family again in the end, but he didn't know that for sure. Mom had said that just needed some time to clear her head, but did that mean for certain that she would come back once she'd got everything worked out?

This was all his fault and he knew that. She'd left because of him.

Sliding down the wall to the floor, Sam brought his knees up to his chest as he leaned back. Tears slowly began to make their way down his cheeks as sobs tore through his throat. Losing the last few threads of his composure, Sam broke down, burying his head amongst his arms.

* * *

Slamming the door closed behind him, Dean growled in anger before he grabbed the chair by the desk and threw it against the wall, it didn't break but did make an almighty crash as it hit the floor.

Breathing heavily in rage he sat down on the edge of the bed. The photos of them when they were younger lay atop the comforter. Mary holding a baby Sam with a hand on the shoulder of his four year old self taunted him as a tear trickled down his cheek.

She'd just walked off. Walked out on them.

She'd told them that she was happier in her life in Heaven then she was with them.

They were her family, not Dean and Sam as they were now.

Dean knew that he shouldn't have done that to Sam. His little brother was bound to be upset to and scaring him like that wouldn't have helped anything.

Grabbing the photos, Dean stood up from the bed and threw them down onto his desk unceremoniously before leaving the room and making his way back down the corridor the library.

Hearing the sound of light sniffling, Dean sighed.

Walking into the room he looked around for a few seconds before he noticed his brother sat behind the table. He sat down next to him and very softly placed a hand on his little brother's shoulder.

Sam looked up and over at his brother, lip quivering.

"I sorry..."

Dean furrowed an eyebrow. "For what?"

"She left 'cause of me, just like said other day." He paused. "She said that she misses her boys." Sam took a breath. "Her baby Sam in Heaven isn't deaf. She's happy up there because she has her perfect family..." Tears continued to stream down his cheeks. "I sorry..."

"Sammy..." Dean's was heartbroken.

"I so, so sorry, D'n..."

'Stop' Dean signed. "You have done **_nothing_** wrong, okay? Nothing. If she wants to be like that then she can. We've been fine without her for years and we'll be fine without her now."

"You love her, D'n."

"I do, I won't deny that, but not more than you. I've told you before, Sammy, there's nothing I'd put in front of you, and that includes Mom." He paused. "And if she wants to be like this; if that is her reason for leaving then..." Dean took a breath, closing his eyes for a few seconds. "...then she's not the woman that I thought so was."

"She said Dad was in Heaven with her." Sam cracked a smile, wiping tears from his eyes.

Dean smiled too. "Good."

"When he was at graveyard and climbed out Hell he went to Heaven. He been there all this time. I glad they were together."

"When Amara did what she did, and I saw Mom for the first time, it never dawned on me that she would be pulled out of Heaven. That she would be pulled away from Dad." Dean began. "I mean, we didn't know Dad was up there, but I never thought about how they were happy, I only thought and what it would mean for us having her back."

"That not make you selfish, D'n, that just make you human." Sam reassured.

"But Dad, he spent his whole life avenging her after she died. He was apart from her for so many years. He went to Hell and was tortured for thousands more, dragged himself out of Hell and finally got a spot in Heaven just for us to rip Mom away from him once again."

"We technically not do thing. Like you say, Amara did it."

"Yeah but we sprang her so, same thing really." Dean looked at his brother with a smile before noticing something. "Why aren't you wearing your hearing aids?"

"Broke one of them." Sam smirked.

"When?" Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"When ghost threw me into shelves." Sam might as well have ended his sentence, 'duh' due to the tone he answered with.

"Good answer." Dean smirked.

Sam laughed.

"Just forget about this for now, Sam. It wasn't your fault and we've got bigger fish to be dealing with." Dean stated.

Sam nodded. "She come back."

"Maybe she will, maybe she won't." Dean stood up before offering a hand to his brother.

Sam took it and allowed Dean to pull him to his feet. He felt a rumble in his stomach and then saw his brother burst out laughing.

"Hungry?"

The rumble must have been loud. Sam smirked. "Starving. You make burgers?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Sam smiled. 'J-E-R-K'

'B-I-T-C-H'


	11. Poison

**Summary:** Tag to 9x10

* * *

Cas watched as life returned to Sam's form. Gasping awake, Sam's expression was that of pain and confusion.

Rushing over he threw himself to his knees on the floor in front of the seat which held the youngest Winchester and gently took hold of his still restrained hand.

'Sam...Sam...' Cas projected into Sam's head.

Sam's eyes were frantically dashing around the room before they stilled, the sound of Cas' soft voice grounding him.

"C-Cas?"

Cas smiled. "We're going to get you out of here, just hold on."

Dean placed a hand gently onto his little brother's shoulder before wincing.

"Cas, they..." He took a breath, trying to hold onto his composure. "...they need to come out." Dean motioned to the needles which protruded from Sam's head.

"I know, help me." Cas tightened his grip of reassurance on Sam's hand before taking hold of the first needle and pulling it free.

"Gah!" Sam cried out in pain.

Dean closed his eyes for a few seconds before looking to Cas.

"We can't just take them out like this, Cas, he needs a hospital."

"Dean, we don't have a choice." Cas stated. "And even if we followed your method, it would only cause Sam more pain because the needles would be in place for a more prolonged period of time. It's better to just get them out and get Sam back to the bunker so that I can begin to heal his wounds."

Dean nodded before gently beginning to remove the needles. It took only a few minutes to remove them all.

Headlights could be seen through the window. Dean rushed over.

"It's Abaddon."

"Go. The back door. I'll handle this." Crowley instructed.

"Oh, 'cause you're such a good guy?" Dean questioned.

"Dean. We don't have time for this." Cas stated, gingerly helping a very wobbly Sam to his feet before taking his weight.

"He's right, now go."

Dean crossed the room and helped Cas support Sam's almost unconscious form. "This don't make us even."

"Naturally." Crowley grinned. "Pleasure doing business with you boys, as always."

Cas and Dean led Sam down the corridor of the warehouse before throwing open the door and transferring him into the backseat of the Impala.

Cas climbed in with him, lifting the youngest Winchester ever so gently so that Sam's head rested in his lap. He then began to stroke a hand through Sam's brown bangs as Dean put Baby into gear and slammed his foot down on the gas pedal, the rear end snaking out in a cloud of smoke as they gunned it out of the warehouse parking lot and onto the freeway.

Cas gazed at Sam with a soft smile. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's forehead.

Dean, who had seen all of that in the rear-view mirror, smiled himself.

"Awww..."

Cas blushed.

* * *

Cas watched as the scenery passed them by.

"I don't know what to say to him." Dean spoke up.

"Sorry would be a good place to start." Cas offered.

"I don't think that's gonna' cut it."

"What do you want me to say Dean? That it's all just going to go perfectly back to the way it was before, because it's not. Sam is going to be pissed and he has a right to be. You lied to him, again. You tricked him into being possessed by an angel. And you lied to me too." Cas paused. "When you called me in that hospital to tell me that Sam was dying, you told me that you had a plan to fix him. At no point during that phone call did you tell me that your master plan involved getting some random angel of Heaven to possess him and heal him up. I didn't even have my grace back then to sense what you'd done. And then look what happened, he turned out to be one of Heaven's most hated angels, and he kidnapped Sam."

"I never wanted any of this to happen." Dean answered.

"But it did." Cas stated. "You saved Sam's life, and for that I am grateful, but you can't fix this, Dean. You can't go back and change what Gadreel did. What you can do though is show Sam that you are truly sorry and hear him out."

Dean was silent.

Cas knew immediately that something was wrong.

"What are you going to do, Dean?"

"Sam can't come with me." Dean answered, softly. "And neither can you."

"Dean...don't do this."

"I don't want to, _believe me_ , I don't want to have to do this, but I just can't..." Dean paused, struggling to find words. "I mean; can't you see it? I'm...I'm poison, Cas. People get close to me; they get killed...or worse. You know, I tell myself that I-I I help more people than I hurt. And I tell myself that I'm – I'm doing it all for the right reasons, and I believe that. But I can't – I won't drag anybody else through the much with me. Not anymore."

Cas lowered his head, gaze falling to Sam. "This will destroy him."

Dean scoffed sadly. "He hates me."

Cas' gaze shot up to find the eldest Winchester's. "That is not true and you know it!"

"I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"Look after my little brother, Cas." Dean's eyes shone with unshed tears. "Make sure he remembers to take his meds. He will kick your ass if you keep mentioning them but every so often he does forget if he's nose deep in a book or research."

"Dean, he loves you. No matter how angry he is at you for this whole situation, he would never want this."

"He loves you too." Dean smiled. "You love him too."

Cas looked down at the bundle of boyfriend in his lap once again and smiled. "Yes I do."

"You two need to look out for each other, you make one hell of a team."

"Dean, stop this." Cas took a breath. "You and I both want what's best for Sam and this, your plan to just take off, isn't that. This will break him, just like it did in the previous instances of your death and I don't want to have to ever witness that again. I'm not going to just sit here and watch as you break your brother's heart so how 'bout you grow a pair, stow your crap, apologise to your brother, and then help me get him back to full health again?"

Dean was speechless, remaining silent as he took in Cas' words. A smile came to his face. "Nice."

"I had a good teacher." Cas smirked.

"Fine, I will stick around, but only until he's vertical. I'm sorry, Cas, but I am the last person he is going to wanna' be around right now. I'll talk to him before I take off."

Cas shook his head.

"Oh Cas, come on..."

"I have nothing more to say to you other than my car is parked up a couple of miles from here by the dock."

"I'll drop you guys there."

* * *

The rest of the drive was spent in silence with the only wisps of sound coming from Sam as he mumbled in his sleep.

As they reached the dock, Cas laid his hand down on Sam's chest, beginning the first stage of healing.

Sam groaned into awareness as he flickered his eyes open.

Cas smiled. 'About time'

Sam smiled too before furrowing an eyebrow. 'What happened?'

'Later. Explain later'

Sam nodded.

"Dean needs to talk to you."

Sam turned to look at his brother. "D'n?"

Dean didn't reply as he pushed open the door and got out of the Impala.

Cas sighed before adjusting Sam so that he could sit upright. He then opened the backdoor and helped Sam out.

"I'll be over here." Cas walked a few steps down the dock as he watched Dean begin to sign to his little brother. He watched as Sam became more and more emotional at his brother's words.

'Go. I not stop you' Sam signed at the end of Dean's speech.

Dean's face was that of pure emotion too as he turned and walked away.

"But don't go thinking that's the problem, 'cause it's not." Sam's voice carried across the length of the dock causing Dean to pause and turned back around to face him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked.

'Just go'

Dean slowly walked to the Impala before climbing in and driving off.

Cas closed the distance between him and Sam, offering a soft, reassuring smile to him as he did so.

In a matter of seconds, Cas had armfuls of boyfriend, the youngest Winchester burying himself against Cas as he sobbed. Cas gently stroked a hand down his back in comfort as he gently began to hum, knowing that Sam often found it relaxing.

Sam sniffled as he pulled back from Cas. "Thank you for staying."

Cas smiled, softly. "I would never be anywhere else but right here, Sam."

Sam smirked. "That sounded so cheesy."

Cas smirked too. "Come on, let's get back to the bunker."

They walked down the pier together before climbing into Cas' pimpmobile.

Cas started the ignition before driving off towards the main road. One hand on the steering wheel, Cas soon felt Sam's hand reach across the front bench and take it in his own.

Sam smiled at him. "Thanks for looking after me, Cas. I really appreciate it."

"You don't have to thank me for that."

"I know, but still...thanks."

"You're welcome." Cas offered a smile. "You should sleep; I'll wake you when we get home."

"Okay." Sam nodded before resting his head against the window and closing his eyes, hand still tightly holding onto Cas'.


	12. Healthy Shit & Gabapentin

**Summary:** Tag to 7x02 - A crowbar to the head has disastrous consequences for Sam

* * *

"D'n, now!" Sam shouted.

Dragging himself to the hood of one of the old junkers, Dean reached up and grabbed the crane controls. Pushing the release button, Dean watched as the car began to fall from above the salvage yard.

In a matter of seconds, the Leviathan pounced on Sam, swinging the crowbar in it's hand full force until it made contact with the side of his brother's head with a sickening crack.

Sam fell back from the monster just as the car crushed it. He dropped to the ground in an unconscious heap a few metres away.

"Sammy!" Dean screamed, crawling his way across to his brother, stomach churning at the amount of blood seeping from a deep wound on the side of Sam's head. "Shit, shit, shit!" He ripped his phone from his pocket and dialed 911. "Hold on, Sammy!"

* * *

"I need details." The paramedic stated after they were loaded into the back of an ambulance.

Dean was strapped down by a band across his waist as he lay next to his brother, only a small gap separating the two of them.

"Uh, he's – he's deaf. Profoundly deaf."

"Anything else? Any previous conditions?"

"Yeah, he uh, he had a brain injury when he was sixteen. He seized after he got hurt and his brain didn't get enough oxygen so now he takes ugh, umm...Gabapentin."

"So partial seizures?"

"Yeah, partial. He hasn't had one in a while but with him taking a hit up there I'm worried he's gonna'."

"So he administers the drug regularly three times a day?"

"Normally, yeah."

"Normally?" The paramedic questioned.

"Our Uncle was hospitalised this morning and then this happened so he won't have taken his afternoon dose. I saw him take his morning one, but it's coming close for his night one too." Dean explained, lying through his teeth without a single stumble.

"He doesn't drink with the tablets, does he?"

"Our Uncle would kill him if he did. No, he just drinks healthy shit, or soda if he has to."

A light whimper could be heard before a groan.

"He's gonna' panic 'cause his hands are strapped down." Dean realised before shuffling his arm out of the blanket and reaching across the aisle of the ambulance and softly taking Sam's hand in his own.

Sam's eyes flickered open, an expression of confusion on his face before he recognised the touch and turned to Dean, his eyes glazed and pained.

Dean smiled. "Hey, hey, it's okay...it's okay, Sammy. I'm right here. I'm right here, We're gonna' be okay. Everything is going to be okay. You just keep those eyes open for me, alright, geek boy."

Sam's eyes left him as they traveled to the doors of the ambulance. A few seconds later, Sam's body went rigid before he slammed down against the gurney.

"No, no, no, no, no..." Dean's eyes widened in panic.

"Shit!" The paramedic quickly grabbed a handful of equipment from one of the drawers. Flicking the small vial of clear liquid that Dean was only too familiar with, the paramedic then inserted the needle before drawing the liquid into the syringe. Ripping open an anti-bacterial wipe he adjusted the blanket wrapped around the younger brother before pulling down the waistband of Sam's jeans. Wiping the skin, the paramedic then administered the drug straight into Sam's thigh before readjusting the blanket.

"Still partial, that's good."

"How is that good?!"

"Because the head trauma could have added to the damage he has already experienced causing a whole new host of more serious problems, but the fact that your brother is still remaining conscious means that he's probably been very lucky on this occasion."

"Because he's still only partial?"

The paramedic nodded. "That would definitely have been the first thing to change if his condition was more severe."

Sam continued to seize on the gurney, his head slamming down against the pillow as his jaw opened and closed, his teeth clicking together every few seconds.

Dean stroked his thumb down his little brother's hand as he refused to let go. He hoped that Sam was finding some reassurance from it.

"We'll be approaching the hospital in a few minutes, he should be close to the drug kicking in now."

"Where are we?"

"Sioux Falls General."

Dean's eyes widened. "No, no, no, you gotta' take us somewhere else, anywhere. Please."

"Yeah, okay, buddy." The paramedic scoffed.

Dean groaned.

* * *

"People need to stop using your head as target practice, kiddo." Dean sighed, turned around in his seat as much as he could to look at his little brother in the back of the ambulance Bobby had hotwired during their escape from Sioux Falls General.

"He'll be fine, Dean. Sam'll just need some time to recover and then he'll be back on his feet before you know it."

Dean's expression was that of uncertainty and worry.

"I mean; he came back from worse than this all those years ago." Bobby continued, hoping to offer any hints of reassurance he could to the eldest Winchester.

"He seized in the ambulance, Bobby."

"Nothing he hasn't done before. The kid's had a lot on his plate, I'm not surprised that he forgot that dose." He paused. "Again though, he's missed doses before."

"Yeah and I kicked his ass every time."

"Your brother is an incredible man, and he got that from you. What he needs right now is level-headed Dean, not a lecture."

Dean nodded. "I just want him to be okay. I can't...I can't do all this brain stuff again, I can't..."

"You won't have to. I mean, you told me yourself that the paramedic practically gave you the all clear on the traumatic brain injury front." Bobby stated. "I glanced at his diagnosis sheet when I was wheeling him outta' there and they only had him down for a minor head trauma and contusions. They were sending him for an MRI only because it's standard procedure, especially for someone like Sam who's had a previous brain injury."

"Thanks, Dr. Singer." Dean answered, sarcastically.

Bobby just looked at him.

* * *

After Sam was discharged from County, Bobby had grabbed the keys to Rufus' old cabin and drove the boys out there.

Sam was still in a state between unconsciousness and slumber as he lay across the backseat of the Impala, resting half across Dean's legs as his head was cushioned in his brother's lap.

Arriving at the cabin, Bobby had quickly gone ahead to unlock the door and scope the place out before returning to the car and transferring Sam inside and over to one of the beds.

Dean followed, crutches tucked under his arms as he clumsily walked in.

Bobby pulled his phone out.

"He'll need his afternoon dose."

Dean nodded before grabbing his brother's meds from the duffel and hobbling into the bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Dean popped the pills before removing the bottle of orange juice from his jacket pocket that he had procured from their visit to the hospital. Clicking open the cap, Dean placed his hand gently on Sam's neck before lightly stroking his jaw. The touch had the desired effect and Sam's mouth opened ever so slightly. Dean slowly poured a small amount of orange juice into his brother's mouth before dropping one pill in too, he then massaged his brother's throat once again until Sam swallowed on reflex. He repeated this twice more until the full dose was consumed.

"That's my boy." Dean smiled, raising his hand up to stroke through Sam's brown hair. "I wish you could hear me right now." He paused. "I hate it when you get hurt. Not just for the obvious reason, but because you must feel so alone in there, and there's nothing I can do to drag you back from that." With his other hand, Dean took Sam's and placed it palm up before gently tracing 'S' and 'My' onto it, Sam's name sign.

Shuffling up the bed so that he was lying down next to his brother, Dean pulled Sam gently across so that he was resting against his chest. Dean then rested his head down on the pillow alongside his little brother's and found himself falling asleep.

* * *

"Awww, what a picture."

Dean moaned before flickering his eyes open.

Bobby was stood by the door with a smug expression.

Dean stuck his finger up at him before rubbing his eyes with the back of his other hand.

"Stop squirming." Came a mumble.

Dean looked down at the bundle of brother wrapped around him and smiled. 'Look who decided to join us'

Sam stuck his finger up at him. 'You take crowbar to head and see how you do'

He smirked. 'No thanks'

'Exactly. Now stop squirming and lie back down, I try sleep'

'You slept for hours'

Sam shrugged.

Not wanting to argue, and feeling like he could easily have a few more hours himself, Dean shuffled back in and readjusted his grip on his little brother with a smile. 'I glad you okay S-my'

His only reply was the sound of his brother's light snores.

"Charming." Dean smirked.


	13. 12x02 Alternate

**Summary:** Tag to 12x02 - Sam's seizures make an appearance while captured by the British Men of Letters

* * *

The hours dragged on and on as he sat tied to a chair in the basement of wherever the fuck the Men of Letters were using as a temporary base. Struggling to keep his eyes open as he tried to breath through the pain, Sam wheezed before beginning to cough, a spurt of blood dribbling from his lips as he did so.

The door clunked open with a violent tremor through the stone floor.

Sam's eyes rose ever so slightly to look at British bitch, noticing that the other woman had followed her down too.

"Screw you..." He struggled.

"Sam, please...just help us out here, then we'll set you free." British bitch stated.

"No."

"Sam..."

"I said n-..." Sam furrowed an eyebrow, looking down at his hands. Noticing the tremors, his eyes widened. After a few seconds, the shakes became more and more violent. "No!"

British bitch stepped closer to him.

Sam's head snapped up as he growled. "Get me out of these, now!"

She scoffed. "I don't think so."

"You don't understand, I..." Sam's voice trailed off as his eyes rolled backwards and the shakes kicked in. A few seconds later, he was seizing.

Sam was unsure of what was happening around him, but was he could make out were hands gripping his wrists before the shackles he once wore were released along with the chains around his waist. He was then pulled from the chair in one vaguely careful motion and lain on the ground.

"Guh..." Sam moaned as he continued to seize.

When the convulsions came to a close, the hunter's head lolled to the side as he breathed heavily in exhaustion, scrunching his eyes closed against the bright lights of the basement. He felt sick, his stomach hurt, his wrists hurt, his back hurt, and his arms felt numb. His teeth were still clicking together every few seconds as he tried to regulate his heartbeat.

Vibrations through the floor suggested that British bitch and the other woman were leaving the room. His thoughts were confirmed a few seconds later when the door made the floor shake slightly.

Having refused to appear weak in front of the Men of Letters, Sam let out a whimper before a tear trickled down his cheek. "D'n..."

* * *

"Ma'am..." Watt began. "...you can't just leave him down there. We've probably hurt him enough already by not getting him outta' that chair quick enough. He clearly has some kind of seizure disorder so there's no way he isn't on medication for it."

"Do you understand the point of torture?" Toni asked.

Watt scowled. "We're doing this to get answers, this..." She pointed to the image of Sam half passed out on the floor of the basement. "...this is beyond torture, this is inhumane. He'll just keep having them if you don't find out what medication he takes."

"Leave him down there. If anything will make him talk, it's this." Toni walked off.

* * *

Picking the lock of the backdoor, Dean snuck inside. Moving through the corridor, he paused upon noticing an iron door with a bar across the lock.

Cocking his gun, Dean quietly lifted the lock before pulling the door open and walking inside. As he reached the top of the staircase, his eyes widened.

There was Sam lying in a heap on the floor.

"Sammy!"

He sprinted down the steps and over to his brother. Reaching him, Dean winced in sympathy. Sam's breathing was awful, his body shook in what was clearly a combination of seizure after effects and pain, and light whimpers were escaping his lips.

Dean lay a hand gently on his brother's arm.

"No, no, no, please..." Sam weakly begged, the words barely audible from his raw throat.

's-my' Dean signed into his little brother's palm after wrestling it into his hold.

Sam jumped, eyes opening in a second before he moved as much as his exhaustion would allow to try and locate the source of the sign. As his gaze landed on Dean, Sam tearfully exhaled. "D'n."

Dean was almost tearful himself as he saw the glaze to his little brother's eyes. "Hold on, Sammy, I'm going to get you out of here, but you desperately need to take these first." Taking a packet of Gabapentin from his jacket pocket, Dean cracked open the lid of a bottle of water and fed the tablets to Sam before wrapping his arms around his brother and slowly getting him to his feet.

Sam's legs were nowhere near strong enough to hold himself up due to the torture and seizures meaning that Dean had to basically carry his not-so-little brother up the stairs and out of the house.

"Cas! Cas!" Dean shouted.

Cas' head turned in an instant, eyes locking with the sight before him. "Sam!" He ran over and immediately threw Sam's arm over his shoulders, helping Dean take his weight. "What did they do to him?" Cas noticed the tremors in Sam's arms and legs.

"Well the bastards must have been there when he seized because he was unchained on the floor when I found him, which means that they didn't attempt to get him any medication. So in a nutshell, they tortured him and refused to give him any relief from the seizures he's been having." Dean paused, sighing heavily. "I've never seen him this spaced, Cas. He's hurting worse than anything they tortured him with down there and the fuckers didn't care. He could have died!" He growled.

"We can get angry later, first we have to get him back to the bunker so he can sleep."

Dean nodded, reaching down to his brother's palm.

'Hold on B-U-D' He traced.


	14. As The Walls Came Tumbling Down

**Summary:** Dean is determined that Sam is trying to give him a heart attack

 **One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

"Sam! Get outta' there!" Dean shouted.

Sam had his back turned as he maneuvered his way across the upstairs hallway of the house, the flames getting dangerously close to him as he did.

"Sam!"

Dean's hopes were that if he shouted loud enough his brother's hearing aids might pick up the frequency which involved him having to shout as loudly as he could, something that was not easy on the throat, especially after already inhaling a buttload of smoke from the fire.

Sam didn't hear him though, but Dean also knew that it was very likely that his brother was just ignoring him. His one goal was to reach the bedroom at the back of the house and he wasn't going to give up until he had the Carmichael's daughter in his arms and out of the soon to be burnt out house.

The flames had already encompassed the path his brother had taken across the small hallway making it impossible for Dean to follow. He could only watch as his brother disappeared past the door adorned with pink butterflies and a name sign that read 'Milly'.

Entering the room, Sam gaze shot around the room as he tried to locate the young girl. Initially unsuccessful, he walked around the bed. There, sat with her knees up against her chest, head buried in her arms, was Milly.

Sam knelt down in front of her, a hand going to his throat so that he was sure his voice wouldn't scare her, before he began to speak.

"I will get you out of here."

The girl didn't look up.

"Mill-e." Sam ever-so-gently placed a hand on her arm.

Milly jumped, eyes flying up to meet Sam's in panic. It was then, when her head was completely visible, that Sam noticed the hearing aids in her ears.

Sam exhaled. ' _Shit, no wonder she's petrified._ ' He thought.

'M-I-L-L-Y' He began to sign.

Milly looked even more confused now as she watched Sam fingerspelling, clearly shocked that he knew how.

'We need to go'

Milly shook her head. 'Scared'

Sam offered her a soft smile of reassurance. 'I protect you. Keep you safe. Promise'

'Name you what?' Milly signed.

'S-A-M'

Milly giggled. 'S-A-M I Am'

Sam smiled with a smirk. 'Come on'

Milly lifted her arms up and Sam immediately scooped her up, holding her close against his chest as he lifted his coat slightly and moved it so that it covered her in an attempt to protect her from the thick black smoke awaiting them in the hallway.

Sam grabbed the little white rabbit sat on her bed and tucked it in beside her, her little arms coming to wrap around it.

'Bunny!' She signed in exclamation.

'Hold onto him' Sam smiled.

Milly nodded.

'Keep your mouth and nose covered by my coat okay?'

The little girl buried herself deeper under the coat, the hand not holding Bunny holding the fabric in a tight grip.

'Good girl'

Sam took a deep breath before barreling out of her bedroom back into the hallway.

"Sam!"

Dean was on the staircase, eyes wide in panic, although he did look relieved at the sight of the young girl hidden beneath his brother's coat, his arms wrapped protectively around her.

Sam's eyes assessed the fire, it had well and truly engulfed the entire hallway now leaving nowhere to step. Things were looking bleak.

Milly was whimpering against his chest.

Sam looked down and immediately noticed the tears trickling down her cheeks.

'Hey...it's okay. Don't cry. Don't cry.'

This had no effect on Milly though as he looked up with eyes of desperation and fear at Sam.

Sam's heart was tearing further and further apart by the second. The smoke was becoming heavy in his lungs as he turned to look at his brother.

"D'n!" He shouted.

Dean's gaze rose to meet his rose.

"You need get her out!" He growled at the jumble. "Ughhhh, fuck!" Sam cursed as his brain simply couldn't formulate a plan, the smoke inhalation clearly starting to get to him.

"Sam, calm down!" Dean responded. 'You need to get Milly to me. Then you jump'

'How?!' Sam signed aggressively, hands smacking together audibly.

"I'm working on it!"

Sam didn't need to hear his brother to know that Dean had shouted that last remark. Turning back to Milly's room, Sam rushed back inside and over to the window at the far side of the bed. Opening it, he stuck his head out, savouring the sweet, nectarous air, inhaling it in large gulps before moving Milly forward so that she could do the same. He then looked down at the drop.

It was WAY too high to jump from.

"Shit!" Sam cursed.

'S-A-M?' Milly fingerspelt, shaking lightly as she buried herself closer against him.

Sam looked down at her.

'It's okay, M-I-L-L-Y. It's okay'

Once again returning to the hallway, Sam looked to his brother.

Dean visibly sighed upon once again having a visual on Sam before his expression changed to a look of 'Where the fuck have you been?!' and 'Don't you dare do that again you bastard!'

'I have a plan but you not like it'

'I think we beyond bad plans now. Shoot'

'Throw her' Dean answered. 'I don't like it but we not have much choice. Then you jump'

Milly, having watched the signs between the two men, gasped before shaking her head quickly, hiding her face away from Sam.

'M-I-L-L-Y' Sam traced onto her back.

Milly shook her head. "No..."

Sam went to gently take hold of her arm but the little girl pulled it away from him. He looked to his brother with an expression of 'Well done...' before turning back to Milly. 'M-I-L-L-Y' Sam attempted once again.

'No throw' She signed, head unmoving from where she was buried against Sam's chest.

'No throw' Sam confirmed.

Milly looked around the hallway before her gaze fell on the bathroom door. She gasped. 'S-A-M! S-A-M! S-A-M!' The little girl signed quickly and repeatedly.

'What?'

'Water' She pointed towards the bathroom.

Sam furrowed an eyebrow before realisation kicked in. A wide smile grew on his face as he ruffled her hair. 'M-I-L-L-Y you genius!'

Milly giggled.

'I need you to open the door' Sam began. 'Door handle hot so use Bunny and turn with it'

Milly nodded. 'Okay'

Sam smiled. 'Good girl' He gently adjusted his hold on the little girl before holding her out towards the bathroom door.

Milly gripped Bunny tight as she reached over and placed him over the door handle. Her first attempt at turning it failed as it simply slipped out of her hands, but the second saw the bathroom door swinging open. She turned back to Sam. "Yay!"

"Yay!" Sam agreed with a smile before raising his hand.

Milly high fived it.

'Come on' Sam jumped the small fire between Milly's bedroom and the bathroom before entering inside and closing the door behind them. He then placed Milly down as he began to gather all the towels from the closet and rack before dumping them into the tub.

'They get wet' Milly commented.

Sam nodded. 'Clever clogs'

She giggled.

Turning on the shower, Sam waited as all the towels became drenched through before looking at Milly. 'Stay here'

Milly nodded.

Grabbing the largest towel, Sam flung open the door before throwing it down over the fire, the lack of oxygen immediately extinguishing the fire.

Milly's eyes widened in amazement. "Cool!"

Dean smirked at that before signing back to her in his brother's absence. 'Very cool'

She smiled.

Sam turned to Milly. 'Can you give me next one?'

Milly nodded eagerly, grabbing the next towel from the tub and handing it over.

'Thank you'

Sam repeated once the process once again, successfully clearing a path across to the staircase.

"Go, go, go!" Dean shouted.

Sprinting back into the bathroom, Sam scooped up Milly before returning to his brother. Handing the little girl over into Dean's waiting arms, Sam waited for Dean to begin descending the staircase before he placed his hands on the railing and bolted over it. Sam took each step two at a time until he'd cleared them all and was finally able to exit the inferno.

Once free of the house, Sam let himself flop down backwards onto the grass of the Carmichael's front lawn as he regained his breath, coughing and spluttering a few times as he did so.

Sam wasn't really sure what was going on around him. He guessed it would be a reunion between the Carmichael's and Milly coupled with an equally spluttery Dean.

In a matter of seconds, his chest and stomach was crushed by a small child.

"Oof." Sam joked with a smirk.

Milly burst out giggling.

He noticed Dean walk over and stand next to where he was lying. A smile was on his face as he watched Milly crush him.

'S-A-M I Am'

Sam wrapped an arm around Milly, lifting her with him as he got to his feet. He came face to face with a very thankful looking Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Tears of joy were streaming down Mrs. Carmichael's face.

'You're welcome.' Sam signed before realising.

The Carmichael's released a breath before they smiled.

'This is S-A-M I Am' Milly spoke up.

'You still got Bunny?' Sam asked.

Milly nodded before holding Bunny really close to his face.

Sam smirked. 'Good'

'Thank you, S-A-M' Milly smiled.

'You're welcome, M-I-L-L-Y'

Milly wrapped her arms around Sam's neck, hugging him for a few seconds, before she pulled away.

Sam then handed her over to Mrs. Carmichael.

The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

Dean walked over and stood next to him. "Come on."

Walking over to the car, Sam climbed in, closing the door behind him.

Dean climbed in next to him in the driver's seat.

"Ready?"

Sam nodded.

The rumble of Baby's engine vibrated through the leather bench.

Sam looked out of the window and over at the Carmichael's.

Milly began to sign. 'Thank you, S-A-M I Am'

Sam smiled.

Dean smiled too as he watched the scene unfold before slowly pulling away from the house.

As they neared the end of the road, Sam glanced back in the mirror, a light gasp leaving his throat at the sight.

Milly had Bunny's paw raised, making him wave at him.

Sam quickly wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye with his jacket, desperately trying to make sure his brother didn't see.

'You big girl' Dean signed.

Sam shot him a bitch face.

Dean laughed.


	15. Folsom Prison Blues

**Summary:** Tag to 2x19 - One of the prisoners at the jail picks the wrong guy to fuck with

* * *

Walking into the dining block, Dean located Sam sitting alone at one of the tables. His brother was simply moving the food around on his plate with the plastic fork provided, head bowed, how his brother would usually sit if he was trying to block everyone else out.

Dean walked up to the table and stuck a finger into Sam's ear.

Sam smacked the hand away, shooting a bitch face at his brother.

'Jerk'

Dean laughed, sitting down opposite before he noticed the painting on Sam's face. Dark red bruises that stretched down from his cheek all the way to his eye. His hearing aids were also missing in action.

'W-T-F?!'

"D'n..." Sam attempted, seeing the immediate anger in his older brother's expression. 'I take care of my self'

'Clearly'

Sam scowled, expression furious at Dean's last remark.

'Fuck you!' He signed aggressively, hands smacking together audibly before he looked down at his food again, slowly stabbing the fork in and out of the breaded chicken.

'Hey' Dean tried to get his brother to look at him. 'Hey, please'

Sam finally re-found his gaze.

'Sorry, okay? That dick move. I sorry' Dean apologised.

Sam nodded.

'Who took them?'

'Cell M-A-T-E'

'You got him?'

Sam nodded once again. 'I can take him'

"Hey, what are you two pussies doing?" Some tattooed guy shouted, walking over to the table.

"None of your friggin' business." Dean replied.

Sam signed Dean's name sign to try and calm him down but it didn't help.

"Oh..." Tattoo guy began. "...you're the new deaf bitch." He grinned. "Apparently Jacob's been having some fun with you."

"You son of a bitch!" Dean growled, standing up from the bench.

Sam signed Dean's name sign once again, also standing up from the bench as he did so.

Dean still wasn't listening.

Tattoo guy turned to Sam.

"Why don't you give a leash on your little boyfriend there, deafy? You wouldn't want him to get hurt too now would you?"

In a matter of seconds, Sam pounced on tattoo guy, twisting his arm behind his back until he felt a crack, punching him across the face before stamping down on his foot, and kneeing him in the chin as he doubled over causing him to fall to the floor in a heap, blood drooling from his mouth.

Crouching down over him, Sam took hold of his broken arm and squeezed the break.

Tattoo guy cried out.

"You do not threaten my brother...you hear me?" Sam's tone was steady and menacing as he stared into tattoo guy. "He is off-limits. Make sure to tell your petty little gang that too because I swear to god, if you lay even a finger on him, I will break every bone in your pathetic little body, and don't think that I won't."

"You're a psychopath."

"No...I just have nothing to lose." Sam released his grip on the guy's arm and stood up, leaving him a whimpering mess on the floor. Turning to his brother, Dean was gobsmacked.

'W-T-F, Sam?!'

'Go, they put me in S-O-L-I-T-A-R-Y for this, you not need to be too'

'Who give a fuck?!'

'I do. Go.'

'Fine' Dean rolled his eyes before looking at tattoo guy on the floor. 'That's my boy' He smiled, proudly, giving the whimpering guy on the floor a kick of his own.

It was Sam's turn to roll his eyes, but he did smirk.

'Get your hearing aids back' Dean signed before walking off.

A guard walked over to him and began talking.

Sam pointed to his ears before grinning widely at him.


	16. Describe Yourself in 250 Words

The tutor slid each student a piece of paper.

' _Describe yourself in 250 words_ '

"Ughhh." Sam moaned.

"My thoughts exactly." Brady stated, sitting down next to him.

'I amazed you came to this lecture, it not even 9 A-M yet. You feeling okay?' Sam joked.

"Ha ha ha..." Brady fake laughed in sarcasm.

Sam smirked.

The door of the lecture theatre opened once again before a blonde girl walked in. As she past the front desk Sam and Brady were sat at she smiled before ascending the steps.

"Oooh, Sam Winchester's got an admirer..."

'Shut up'

Brady smirked. "She is so interested."

'Be serious'

"I am!"

'No one interested in deaf guy'

Brady just looked at him. 'You too hard on self'

'I use to reality'

'Go talk to her or I shout her over'

'I not even know her name?'

'Her name J-E-S-S-I-C-A but everyone name her J-E-S-S' Brady explained. 'She nice'

Sam shook his head before noticing Brady's gaze move to the row of seats behind them in the lecture hall. Sam followed his eyes to find that Jess had moved down.

"Why were you signing my name, Brady?" She asked him.

"I was introducing you to my beautiful friend here." Brady answered with a grin.

Sam smacked him on the arm. 'Dick'

"I didn't know you signed?" Brady ignored Sam's insult.

"I don't, but we learned to sign our names in elementary school and I somehow still remember it." Jess explained.

"Sam could teach you some more, at a price of course." Brady suggested.

Jess giggled. "Oh yeah?" She looked to Sam. "What price?"

"A date with Samuado here."

Sam looked mortified at his roommates' less than subtle approach.

"Sounds good." Jess nodded.

"Great, then that's settled then." Brady smiled.

Sam couldn't believe his eyes. Had that really happened? Did he really have a date with the cute blonde that was WAY out of his league? Was he really going to be teaching that same cute blonde that was WAY out of his league to sign? College was weird.

* * *

Sat with a notebook on his lap and a pen hanging from his mouth, Sam picked up the assignment and read it over again, despite the lack of complexity in the task set.

' _Describe yourself in 250 words_ '

'What is this, elementary school?!' Sam thought before rolling his eyes and beginning to write.

' _Deaf, smart, loyal to the right people, protective, obsessive compulsive, lanky, poor, frequently homeless, low life expectancy (if father has anything to say about it), likely to throw self under bus before even reaching said low life expectancy at the rate life is currently going...unable to even write 250 words to describe self._ '

Sam growled in anger before throwing the notebook hard across the room. It slammed against the wall of the flat and fell to the floor in a heap of pages that had fell out of the binding.

* * *

"Sam, come on dude, please." Brady begged softly, hand gently coming to rest against his friend's shoulder as he lay on the couch, head half buried into one of the cushions.

"Leave me alone..." Sam's weak voice spoke up.

"No can do Sam-A-Roo...what kinda' friend would I be if I left you here to stew like this?"

He sounded like Dean. Sam didn't know how that was possible, but it seemed as if he had somehow managed to locate yet another Dean at Stanford and was sharing a flat with him. It hurt deep down because although he loved Brady, he wanted **his** Dean, not some imposter.

"I said leave me alone!" Sam shouted this time, hoping it would have the desired effect and make Brady want to leave. He hated shouted at him but he knew there wasn't any of way his roommate would leave.

Brady's hand retracted as if it had been burnt, leaving Sam's shoulder and hovering in the air for a few seconds before he lowered it.

"Fine, but if you stand Jess up then you're not the guy I thought you were." And with that, Brady stood up from the floor and walked out of the flat. He must have slammed the door behind him as the vibrations rippled violently through the floor and up the material of the couch he was lying across.

Sighing, Sam pulled the bulky comforter over his head and began to sob, finally alone, just as he'd wanted...

* * *

Jess looked down at her watch for the umpteenth time. Dressed in what she hoped was an outfit that didn't make her look ridiculously overdressed as she sat in one of the booths of the diner across town. She hadn't really bothered with her make-up, only applying some rose coloured lipstick before leaving the flat, and her hair was just hanging naturally down the front of her cream button up shirt.

The waiter kept shooting her looks of sympathy across the diner, clearly believing that her date was never going to show up.

Jess desperately wanted to remain hopeful that Sam wouldn't stand her up, but...

It wouldn't be the first time she'd been stood up on a date. There were numerous guys before Sam that she'd had the misfortune of dating. When she had been introduced to Sam in that lecture with Brady, he'd seemed different. Well, in some ways he definitely was. Sam was much, much scrawnier than her previous boyfriends, who had all been muscular football players. Sam probably won on the height front, but apart from that, he just generally seemed nicer than all the others. He seemed like the kind of guy who would treat a girl right, as her mother would say, but maybe she just had a terrible ability to find a guy who wasn't a dick, because by the looks of it she was yet again being fucked around.

Grabbing her bag from the bench beside her, Jess slid out from the booth, tears in her eyes and headed quickly for the exit. Pushing the door open, she jumped as it hit something...someone.

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, I didn't see you there." She quickly apologised.

"Jess?"

Her eyes rose to meet those of the guy she had struck with the door. It was Sam. With a small huff, she shoved past him, hoping that there wouldn't be too much bad karma for throwing a deaf guy off balance, and started walking off.

"Jess! Wait up!" He shouted after her.

"Not interested!"

"Jess!" Sam shouted once again.

"Get the message, buddy!"

Footsteps could be heard before Sam appeared in front of her. He looked like a kicked puppy, his messy, unkempt bangs hanging down over his eyes. Jess was amazed he was able to see anything through them.

"I am not interested in your excuses, alright?!" She stated, angrily.

"I'm sorry."

Jess scoffed, shaking her head. "Fuck you." She kept walking.

The footsteps didn't follow her.

A few seconds later she heard his voice speak up once again.

"I got scared."

Jess halted in her tracks. Turning back to him it pained her to see the expression of pure fear and emotion on his face. This clearly meant a lot to him. She walked the small distance back over to him.

"I was ready...for our date hours before I needed to leave. But...I don't know. My head, I just...my brain decided to list every single reason why I not going to be good enough for you, and I just not wanted to see your expression when you realised that."

"So avoiding me was your solution?" Jess asked, softly.

"No, avoiding everyone was my solution. It's my only solution really." Sam answered. "Brady tried to knock sense into me but he couldn't." He paused, looking down at the ground for a few seconds before finding her gaze once again. "I get lost in my own head sometimes. I block out the world because I think that it will help, but it only ever makes it worse. Makes me worse." He paused once again. "Jess, I'm idiot want have 'nother chance." Sam grumbled quietly, shaking his head in frustration, his eyes finding the sidewalk once again, his cheeks red in embarrassment. "Fuck!"

Jess furrowed an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

Sam shook his head. "I'm fine!" He replied, bluntly.

"Okay, okay." She held out her hands in surrender. "Sorry."

Sam still looked upset. "Sorry, I shouldn't...I not me to snap at you."

"Sam, it's okay." Jess continued. "So your sentence came out a bit wrong, who gives a crap? Be proud of your disability."

Sam laughed.

"What?!" She giggled.

"That so cheesy!" Sam's nose then turned up very briefly. "I hate that word."

"Disability?"

He nodded. "I'm just missing the accompanying soundtrack." Sam shrugged. "No big deal, really."

Jess smirked. "Must be nice sometimes."

Sam smiled. "You'll probably be a little envious if you start spending more time around Brady."

She laughed. "He can't be that bad."

"Oh, you have no idea..."

* * *

 **A Few Months Later**

Jess noticed a pile of broken notebook on the floor by the wall under the cabinet. Kneeling down, she reached underneath and pulled it out. Picking it up, she placed it on the coffee table before noticing the page it was open at.

' _Describe yourself in 250 words_

 _Deaf, smart, loyal to the right people, protective, obsessive compulsive, lanky, poor, frequently homeless, low life expectancy (if father has anything to say about it), likely to throw self under bus before even reaching said low life expectancy at the rate life is currently going...unable to even write 250 words to describe self._ '

Eyes wide, Jess' hand came up to rest over her mouth as she fought back tears. 'How could he think so little about himself? And was he really suicidal?! Is he still suicidal?!'

Turning over the page, Jess grabbed a pen from the coffee table and began to write.

' _Describe Sam Winchester in 250 words_

 _Sam Winchester is deaf, smart as a tack, loyal to those he loves, protective over even those he has never met before, a super hero, definitely obsessive compulsive, definitely lanky, kind-hearted, gentle, thoughtful, considerate, selfless, gracious, understanding, a great cuddler, a giant puppy, funny, brilliant, and an all-around perfect boyfriend. Sam Winchester is also going to grow old loved and surrounded by those who care about him and love him to pieces. Sam Winchester is a truly remarkable human being. In a world that is slowly but surely going to shit, he is the light at the end of the tunnel. He is an inspiration to be everyone he meets, including myself. He is a friend to everyone, a shoulder to cry on. He is that guy that you can always depend on to be there for you when you need him most. That is the Sam Winchester I know. The Sam Winchester that I met one day in a lecture hall. The Sam Winchester that I slowly but wholly fell in love with. The Sam Winchester that I would happily spend the rest of my life with if he wants me too. The one and only Sam Winchester this planet will ever have the pleasure to host. Sam Winchester will never understand how much he means to every single person he has enlightened with his presence and friendship. He will never believe me if I said this to him, so hopefully he will believe in this. There 250 words._ '


	17. For Weak & For Strong

**Summary:** Christmas 1999 - After getting real sick three weeks earlier, resulting in an unscheduled hospital visit, a sixteen year old Sam can't help but feel guilty for being the reason why Dean is having to work ungodly hours at the garage across town to try and cover the cost of the medical bills after their insurance fell through. To try and help Dean out, Sam gets a job at the local supermarket. As well as keeping all of this hidden from his big brother, Sam also has to contend with: his demanding boss, customers who are dicks about his lack of hearing, making sure he keeps up with his schoolwork, and not falling asleep on the job

* * *

"What does the red dot mean?"

"That I awesome." Sam answered with a grin. He'd been working at the 'Savings Mart' for a week and a half now and he truly hated every minute of it.

" _Sure_ it does..." Karl rolled his eyes with a smirk.

Well maybe not every second. He had quickly become friends with fellow employee, Karl. The two of them were around the same age, Karl only the year above him in the High School a few blocks over, and they shared the same sense of humour. Karl reminded him a lot of Dean in that respect.

"Is that dot anything to do with Darth Vader?"

Sam furrowed an eyebrow. "By that you mean Jeff, right?"

Karl nodded.

Sam laughed. "Then yes, he stuck it on my badge so he know I the deaf one."

"Oh yeah, cause he's really going to miss you, Giganto." Karl scoffed. "What are you, seven foot?"

"Six, I not that huge." Sam shook his head.

"Sure you're not."

"Are you two just gonna' stand there all day?" Jeff shouted from the now open door to the office across the supermarket.

Sam noticed Karl's gaze move and turned to follow it. He then looked back to him after realising he'd missed whatever Jeff had said.

"Oh, Vader wants us to get to work on the Death Star, he's got planets to enslave." Karl joked before picking up a pricing gun and walking off down one of the aisles.

Sam laughed.

* * *

Sat at the checkout, Sam noticed Karl's head fall back in what appeared to be annoyance. Picking up a size cube from a hanger dumped next to his register, Sam threw it at Karl's head.

Karl's hand went up to the target as contact was made before turning to Sam with a scowl.

Sam laughed. "Bullseye."

"You could have just called for me."

"I could have..." Sam grinned.

"What do you want, Red Dot?"

"What were you moaning about just then?"

"This fucking Christmas playlist is driving me insane, man...It's just the same like twenty songs, which when you work a bajillion hours like we do, isn't a substantial enough number of songs to not drive a man physically insane. You got it good, Red Dot."

"Haha." Sam grinned once again before he saw fingers snapping in front of his face. He turned to the owner of them with a scowl. Sam found that they belonged to an old lady. A second later her gaze turned over to Karl.

Sam watched as the scene unfolded. His view of Karl was obstructed but he had a front row seat of the old lady's reaction to whatever he had shouted over at her.

The old lady looked furious but turned back to his till regardless, pushing her items towards him with the grumpiest expression Sam had ever seen.

Sam scanned each of them, bagging them up for her at the same time.

"That's five dollars and seventy five cents please, Ma'am."

Six dollars were shoved towards him before the old lady grabbed her bag and stormed off, not even waiting for her change.

Sam looked to Karl.

"What you say to her?"

Karl shook her head. "Nothing."

Sam just looked at him. "I not need standing up for, I a big boy." He grinned.

"We _all_ know that, Godzilla...but seriously, it's fine, she was just being a dick and needed someone to put her in her place. You can have the next one, she was my turn." He winked.

Sam shook his head with a laugh.

* * *

A finger was prodding his arm over...and over...and over...and over...

Sam flickered his eyes open and immediately gasped as he realised his surroundings.

"Shit!" He cursed, throwing himself upright in seconds, nearly crashing into Karl as he did so.

"Shit is right, Sleepy Smurf...you look terrible."

Sam scoffed. "Thanks, you're full of compliments."

"You know what I mean...when was the last time you slept?"

Sam pointed to the staff room couch.

"I mean _in a bed_?" Karl retorted.

Sam looked to his watch. "Seventeen hours ago."

"You've done a sixteen hour shift?!" Karl exclaimed. "Sam, you worked eleven hours yesterday, seven the day before, twelve the day before that, and nine hours on Monday? Are you insane?!"

"I need the money."

"You're gonna' wear yourself out, dude. At this rate I'm gonna be' scraping you off the floor."

"I can't...I need to...I need this job, Karl." Sam answered sadly.

"Go home, Sam."

"Karl..." He attempted.

"Go home! I will cover for you with Darth about your last hour asleep in here, he'll never know. And don't even think about coming into work tomorrow, I'm sorry, but regardless of how much you need that money, you've already done fifty five hours this week, you can't do anymore."

Sam sighed, still a little reluctant but smiled anyway. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Stay Puft, now go home and get some sleep, you got a lift home?" Karl asked.

Sam shook his head.

"Then be careful out there, the snow is really coming down."

Sam nodded before walking off to the back room to change his shirt. After reverting back to his usual attire, Sam locked his locker before pulling his thin coat a little tighter and heading out into the snowy abyss.

* * *

"What the hell, Sam?!" Dean cursed after having looked round the motel room to find his brother missing in action. Walking over to the window he looked out at the snow ladened streets surrounding the motel. "For a kid with a 4.0 grade average, you can be so fucking stupid sometimes, Sammy. Why the fuck would you go out in this after being in the fucking hospital with the flu?!"

Just then, the door opened revealing a snowman...

"Sammy!"

"I'm fine, D'n."

Dean scoffed, walking over to his brother. "Yeah, clearly."

Sam removed his coat before brushing off the snow from his clothes and closing the door. He popped off his boots before ruffling his hair and walking over to his own bed and clambering under the covers for warmth.

Dean followed, standing to the side of it.

Sam rolled his eyes knowing that a lecture was coming.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, bitch! Where the fuck have you been?!" Dean asked, angrily.

"Out."

"Wow...thanks for that insightful answer there. Are you going to elaborate?"

"No."

Dean took a deep breath. "What are being a bitch for?"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!" Dean shouted. "Do you really think that after a shift at the garage I want to come back here and go out of my mind with worry when you just decide to go for a merry fucking jaunt around the city in the middle of a fucking blizzard?!"

Sam looked away in guilt. "I'm sorry." Struggling to keep his eyes open, he looked to his brother once again. "You can kick my ass all you want, but could you maybe do it tomorrow?"

Dean furrowed an eyebrow. "You feeling okay, Sammy?" His facial expression softened, leaning down a little closer to place a hand on his little brother's forehead.

"I'm fine, D'n, just tired." Sam answered, batting the hand away.

"What about dinner, you haven't eaten anything?"

"I'm not hungry." He shook his head.

Dean nodded. "You sure you're alright, Sammy?"

Sam smiled softly.

"Okay, get some sleep, Sasquatch." Dean ruffled his little brother's hair before switching the lamp on between their beds and turning off the main light of the room leaving only a soft golden glow.

Sam was asleep in seconds.

* * *

A knock at the door brought Dean round. Groaning, he rubbed at his eyes with the back of his arm before stumbling out of bed and over to the door, opening it.

"Oh...is Sam in?" The kid at the door asked.

"He's asleep." Dean answered, presuming that he was just one of his little brother's geek friends from school.

"Good."

The answer surprised Dean but he didn't comment.

"Here, this is his." The kid handed over a bulky envelope. "If you could give it to him, that would be great."

Dean nodded.

"Thanks, bye now." The kid walked off.

Dean closed the door and walked back over to his bed, sitting down on the edge of it. He began to inspect the envelope.

It hadn't been sealed meaning that he was able to peak inside at the contents. As he did, his eyes widened.

There had to be five hundred dollars in cash inside.

'What the fuck, Sam?!' Dean thought, turning to his now stirring brother.

Sam cracked an eye open before yawning, stretching as he did so. "Mornin'."

"Your friend dropped this off for you." He held up the wad of bills from inside the envelope.

Sam paled, feeling instantly sick.

"Do you mind telling me what the fuck is going on, and why I have just been given $500 in cash for you by some kid?!" Dean demanded, terrified by the prospect of how Sam had made this kind of money.

Sam didn't answer.

"Answer me!"

Sam didn't need to hear to know that Dean had screamed those last few words at him. His hands were shaking as he tried not to cry.

"I sorry...It my fault." His voice was shaky in emotion as he spoke up.

"What's your fault?" Dean's expression had softened immediately as he noticed the unshed tears in his brother's eyes. "Sammy, talk to me, please..." He begged.

"Because I was stupid and got sick you had to work more at garage to pay bills. You were so tired and working yourself ill. So I got job at supermarket across town to help. I want to help cause my fault."

And with that, Dean's heart broke.

"Sammy..." He began softly. "You didn't need to do that, kiddo. I'm supposed to be the one looking after you, it's my job to go out and work, not you. You have much more important things to worry about, like being the biggest geek the world has ever known and keeping that ridiculous grade point average you have up."

Sam smirked.

Dean walked across the room and sat down next to his brother, making him shuffle along so that he could join him under the covers. "I want you to spend this."

Sam's eyes went wide as his hands started flying. 'No! It to help with bills!'

Dean dropped the money down onto the bed and beginning to sign too in reply. 'I not using your money'

'Yes you will' Sam stated.

"Why?" Dean asked. "...and don't say 'because it's your fault' 'cause it's not your fault. You couldn't help getting sick, kiddo."

"I want you to pay off the bills with it and then, if there is anything left, buy yourself that new Metallica album you don't have yet, the one that came out two years ago that you've never had the money to buy for yourself."

"Sammy..."

"Please, D'n..." Sam picked up the money from the bed and held it out to his older brother. "...I want you to have it."

Dean sighed. "Fine, but if there's money left over then you're getting yourself a book or something with it too."

'Deal' Sam signed.

"You're an idiot." Dean smirked, wrapping his arm around his little brother's neck and pulling him into a headlock.

Sam laughed, trying to shove away from his brother's hold. "D'n!"

Dean laughed too.


	18. Bloody Mary

**Summary:** Tag to 1x05

* * *

The rain was coming down cats and dogs as the brother's drove on towards the store that housed Mary's mirror.

"So I've been thinking." Sam spoke up. "It might not be enough to just smash that mirror."

"Why?" Dean furrowed an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Mary's hard to pin down, right? I mean she moves around from mirror to mirror so who is to say that she not just gonna keep hiding in them forever? Maybe we try to pin her down and then summon her to her mirror and smash it." Sam explained.

"Well how do you know that's going to work?"

"I don't, not for sure."

"Well who's gonna summon her?" Dean asked.

"I will. She'll come after me." Sam stated.

Dean sighed. "You know what, that's it." He pulled the Impala to the side of the road before turning to fully face his brother. "This is about Jessica, isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret, that you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares, and calling her name out in the middle of the night—it's gonna kill you. Now listen to me—It wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me? I mean I'm the one who dragged you away from her in the first place."

Sam looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers. "I don't blame you."

"Well you shouldn't blame yourself..."

Sam's head shot up, gazing locking with his brother's. "I do blame myself. I will always blame myself."

"Sam, there is nothing you could have done. You didn't know what was going to happen. And besides, all of this isn't a secret, I mean, I know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway."

Sam was silent for a few seconds before he spoke up. "No you don't."

"I don't what?"

"You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything." He stated.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked with a confused expression.

"Well it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you, would it?"

Dean looked taken aback, recoiling slightly. "No. I don't like this. It's not gonna happen, forget it."

"Dean, that girl back there is going to die unless we do something 'bout it. And you know what? Who knows how many more people gonna die after that? Now we do this. You need to let me do this."

* * *

Entering the store, the brothers groaned at the sight of the hundreds of mirrors that covered the room.

"Well...that's just great." Dean huffed. "All right, let's start looking." He flicked his flashlight on and walked off.

Sam did the same.

"Maybe they've already sold it."

Sam walked over to one mirror in particular before putting two fingers to his mouth and whistling.

Dean walked over to join him. "That's it." He sighed. "You sure about this?"

Sam nodded before handing Dean his flashlight and taking a deep breath. "Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary."

A rumbling through the floor could be heard, Sam turned to find the glow of a light from the outside the store coming in through the glass.

'I go check that out. Stay here. Be careful.' Dean signed before rushing off.

Picking up a crowbar from beside one of the wooden palette's, Sam began to brandish it. In the corner of his eye he spotted movement and immediately swung the metal rod, smashing the mirror.

"Come on. Come into this one." He growled, turning to Mary's mirror.

Seeing his own reflection, Sam furrowed an eyebrow as he noticed that mirror him was talking when he wasn't. Cocking his head to the side in confusion, Sam focused on the reflection's lips before his eyes began to burn.

"Gah!" He moaned, a hand going up to his eye to find blood pouring from them, the flow trickling down his cheeks in a steady flow.

"It's your fault. You killed them. You killed her and Jessica." It began. "You never told her the truth—who you really were."

Sam gritted his teeth in pain, clutching his chest as he dropped to his knees on the floor of the store.

"But it's more than that, isn't it? Jessica dying, screaming, burning—No, she wasn't the only one burning that night was she? She was pregnant, wasn't she? Pregnant with your baby, and you let them both die!" The mirror growled visually. "You were so desperate to be normal, to believe that those nightmares you'd been having weeks before they died were just dreams. How could you just ignore them like that?! How could you leave Jessica and your daughter alone to die?! You dreamt it would happen!"

Sam felt a gush of air before glass rained down upon him, still weakly kneeling on the ground, he realised that his brother had smashed the mirror.

He could feel movement around him before the ground began to shake. A high pitched scream whistled through his hearing aids before silence enveloped the room once again and hands came to rest on his cheeks, thumbs gently inspecting the blood on his face. A few seconds later, it all became too much. Sam broke down in a sob, hands covering his eyes as weeks of pain and sorrow came flooding out.

He found himself being pulled against his brother's chest and he buried himself against Dean as the tears continued to fall.

Dean held him tight, hand rubbing up and down his back in comfort. When he eventually pulled away, Sam raised his shaking hands.

'How much you hear?'

"All of it." Dean answered, his own expression that of heartbreak and pure pain. "Sammy, I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

Another tear trickled down his bloody cheek as he cupped a hand over his mouth, squeezing his eyes closed as tears wracked his body. A reassuring hand was placed on his shoulder, offering a squeeze of 'I'm here little brother'. Opening his eyes again a few seconds later, Sam sniffled and cleared his throat. "You would have been an Uncle, D'n."

Dean smiled slightly at that before his expression fell. "I would give anything for you to have the chance to be happy with that little girl and Jessica. You would have been an amazing Dad and Jessica would be a lucky girl."

Sam was still shaking as he nodded. "I lost them both that night. I should have told you about her, I was trying to find the right moment to when we were hunting down the Woman in White, but I not want to hurt your feelings. You had your heart set on idea of me and you road tripping together, fighting monsters that I not want to crush that with news that Jess was pregnant."

"You should have told me, I never would have dragged you away from her and your baby if I'd known." Dean stated, looking down with a shake of his head. "I should never have gone to Stanford in the first place."

"D'n...Not your fault. Never your fault."

"It's not yours either." Dean stated. "What happened was a tragedy, and I can't even begin to imagine what that must feel like inside, but don't ever think that it was your fault." He paused. "Did you love Jess?"

"Of course." Sam furrowed an eyebrow at the question.

"And you loved that baby?" Dean followed.

"With everything I had."

"Then there you go." His older brother concluded. "You would have done anything in your power to stop what happened from happening. You would have died for both of them." Dean paused once again. "It's not your fault, Sammy." His voice was soft and caring.

Sam smiled weakly as more tears began to fall. He gingerly wiped them away, careful not to disturb the aching flesh under and around his eyes.

Dean wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders before helping him to his feet. "Come on, let's get out of here and back to the motel."

The two Winchester brothers were silent as they slowly began to walk out of the shop.

"Mary." Sam spoke up in a small voice.

"What?" Dean asked.

"We were going to call her Mary." Sam paused. "Maybe she'll be with Mom up there."

Holding his little brother ever-tighter, Dean could tears building up in his own eyes. "I'm sure she will, Sam." He answered weakly, sniffling. "I'm sure she will."


	19. An Unexpected Arrival

**Summary:** Tag to 1x01

* * *

Frantic tapping on his chest brought him round. Flickering his eyes open with a groan, Jess was sat upright, leaning over him with a concerned expression. Sam was awake in seconds, taking a reassuring grip on her arm.

'What wrong?'

'Someone in apartment'

Sam's eyes widened.

'Where noise come from?'

'Living room'

Sam quickly threw back the covers.

Jess' hand grabbed his arm just before he got out of bed.

'Please be careful'

Sam nodded before standing up and slowly beginning to walk down the apartment's corridor. Sneaking into the living room, he could feel the breeze from the window that they definitely had not left open last night. The floor vibrated beneath his feet from the left and Sam turned in an instant. As he did, he noticed a shadowed form and immediately pounced, arms wrapping around the intruder's neck.

The intruder countered this by bringing an arm up to strike for Sam's face.

Sam blocked the move, forfeiting the hold around the intruder's neck to do so, but was also able to block the next three attempted strikes that followed. Seeing a break in the intruder's attack, Sam grabbed the hand and pulled, bringing the intruder closer to him before placing a hand against the form's neck and swiping it's leg out from under it, sending them down to the floor in a heap before pinning it in place.

"Who are you?!" Sam shouted, not able to see the intruder's face in the darkness, subsequently unable to lipread anything the shadowed form said.

His thoughts cost him though when a few seconds later he found himself being flipped, their positions reversing as he was the one now pinned.

Sam struck out, slamming a calculated shot to the intruder's throat with his hand to the delicate skin, sending the shadowed form collapsing to the floor clutching it's throat. He then immediately re-pinned it.

The slight change of position meant that they were now in the small pool of light that was creeping in through the fluttering curtains.

"Easy tiger." He lipread.

Sam immediately rolled his eyes, knowing exactly who would say something like that.

"Dean..." He sighed. "You are a fucking idiot..."

Dean smirked.

A second later, Sam's hand shot up into the air, immediately gripping and halting the baseball bat that was swiftfully about to make abrupt contact with his brother's head.

Dean's eyes were wide as he looked up at Sam, who was still pinning him to the ground.

"Woah!...Still haven't lost those Spidey skills, huh? Get off me." He smirked, knocking Sam off and picking himself up from the floor, brushing off his jeans and t-shirt as he did so. Dean turned to the baseball bat wielding blonde. "Well hello..." He smiled.

The blonde rolled her eyes before looking down at Sam who was also in the process of standing up.

"Who is he and why is he in our flat at..." Jess turned to the clock. "...3AM in the morning?"

"My annoying ass older brother." Sam replied honestly.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Thanks..." He retorted dryly.

"Hey I already saved you from a concussion, I deserved that one."

"Wait, your brother Dean?" The blonde asked.

Sam nodded. "Dean, this is Jess, my girlfriend."

Dean's eyes immediately widened, mouth forming an 'O' shape before the proudest grin covered his face as he looked to his little brother. "Well, you are _way_ out of my brother's league."

Jess scowled at him, offering a reminder that she was still holding a baseball bat.

"Yeesh, tough crowd." He spoke up awkwardly before taking a breath. "Anyway...I need to borrow Hawkeye over here."

Sam rolled his eyes at the reference.

'Whatever you want to say, you can say in front of J-E-S-S'

'Sam, I need to talk to you without girl'

"Girl can sign you know..." Jess spoke up, tone neutral and slightly venomous.

Dean ignored her and kept his gaze on his little brother. "Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days."

Sam's eyes widened before he turned to Jess. 'Two minutes'

Jess rolled her eyes. "I'm going back to bed." She walked over to Sam and kissed him on the check before walking off into their bedroom.

Sam smiled before following Dean outside.


	20. Breathe In, Breathe Out

**Summary:** After the fire at his and Jess' apartment, Sam is not okay, in more ways than one

 **One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

Reaching the building, Dean's eyes widened as he saw the red and orange glow through the window of Sam and Jess' apartment.

"Sam!" Throwing open the door of the Impala, Dean sprinted from the car. He made it up the steps to the third floor in record time before breaking his way inside.

His brother's screams led the way into their bedroom where he found Sam shaking and crying out in horror as his eyes stayed locked on the sight above him.

Dean couldn't help but gasp as he saw Jess burning on the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, he sprung back into action and ran over to his brother, dragging him up from the mattress.

Sam immediately began to fight him as he scrambled to try and reach his girlfriend, but his efforts were mostly futile.

"No! No! No! D'n please!" Sam begged.

Dean's heart was breaking with every second but he knew he had to get his brother out of there before they were goners too. Pulling Sam forcibly from the room, Dean was struggling to keep his composure as his little brother continued to scream for Jess even after he had successfully managed to get them both out of the apartment and down the main staircase. He didn't stop until they had crossed the threshold of the building.

It was then that Sam broke down, painful sobs wracking his body as his knees gave way beneath him.

Dean was there to catch him though, lowering him gently down to the ground. He then pulled the distraught bundle of brother against his chest, holding him close.

Sam rested his head against Dean's chest as he continued to cry. His tears only ceased when he began to hack into his brother's leather jacket.

Dean rubbed a hand down Sam's back as he attempted to clear the coughing fit.

Two paramedics, not having previously noticed the two brother's leave the building, came running over.

"Mr, are you okay?"

Sam was unaware of their question but Dean answered quickly with a nod.

"He needs checked out, he was in the apartment where the fire started."

This triggered an immediate response from the paramedics as they quickly gave instructions to Dean.

Lost for breath, chest burning, Sam's lungs struggled for oxygen as dots danced in his vision before everything went black.

* * *

Finding his way back to consciousness, Sam found that he was in Dean's arms. Eyes open ever so slightly, he was able to see that his older brother was crying. Sam's eyes continued to flicker as he struggled to hold onto whatever he was falling in and out of.

"Sammy..." Dean noticed that Sam's were open and looked down at him. "You hold on, okay?" He begged as more tears fell.

That was weird. Dean never cried. Ever.

Sam's trail of thought ended as he once again found himself falling.

* * *

Waking up once again, Sam found it to be much more pleasant than the previous. His throat was hurting like a bitch, but overall, his surroundings seemed much calmer.

Flickering his eyes open, Sam found himself looking up at a plain white hospital ceiling. Endless white panels with long, yellow tinged lights that were both too dull and too bright at the same time stretched off infinitely into the distance. A tickle in his nose told him that he was wearing a plastic nasal cannula to obviously help him breathe. His hearing aids had been removed as the world was silent and there was only one person in the room judging by the slight vibration on the bed. Light puffs of air were tickling the hairs on the back of his hand every couple of seconds, the exact pattern of someone sleeping lightly. The exact pattern of his older brother who undoubtedly would be camped out in a chair beside the bed. The exact older brother who would rather die then let his deaf little brother wake up in a hospital alone. The exact older brother who had never left his deaf little brother alone in a hospital through their childhood because of how scared he knew Sam would be without him there.

Finally feeling awake enough to move, Sam turned his head on the pillow to confirm his older brother theory. He smiled at the sight of Dean asleep, head resting on the mattress next to his hand. Sam raised the hand in question and dropped it gently into his brother's soft dirty blonde hair.

Dean came around in seconds, head raising slowly to find his brother's gaze.

Sam smiled drowsily. "Hey..." His throat vibrated funny when he spoke. Sam scowled.

'Don't try and talk. Doctor said smoke fucked up your throat.' Dean signed before visibly relaxing, a large sigh following which took all tension away from his body. He smiled. "Thank god you're okay..." He took a deep breath. "Jesus, Sammy, you scared me."

"Sorry." Sam apologised.

"Wasn't your fault, and neither was what happened."

"D'n..."

"Please don't torture yourself about it, there's nothing you could have done."

"I could have saved her." Sam stated.

"Sammy, you didn't know..."

He sighed, shifting slightly on the bed, eyes tiredly flickering as he leant into the soft white pillow.

Dean stroked a hand gently through his little brother's hair. "Get some sleep." His tone protective and caring. "I'll be here when your wake up."

"Need to call Jess' parents." Sam mumbled into the pillow.

"That's the cops' job, not yours. They'll deal with it. You just worry about you and get some sleep."

Sam didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

The brothers were out of the hospital three days later, once the doctors were happy enough with Sam's breathing. Dean had booked them into a small motel on the outskirts of Palo Alto knowing that they couldn't go far because of the upcoming funeral. There was no point in driving somewhere to just come all the way back. Not that they could go far anyway.

Sam was tired from his hospital treatment and spent most days sleeping.

The doctor had given them an oxygen canister and a nasal cannula, which Sam had to wear when sleeping, and anytime he found himself short of breath.

Sam had soon became used to having to sleep with the cannula on and it no longer bothered him, now easily able to get through the night wearing it. It was only when he moved around that it could sometimes fall off. This never really proved a problem though because it was never off for long. Sam found that the cannula would always magically be back under his nose, with the tubes once again wrapped around the backs of his ear without him having to do anything.

Sam hoped that the day when he no longer needed to use the thing would come soon because Dean was barely getting any sleep through worrying about him and his cannula, and it was clearly showing in the bags under his eyes. On top of that, Dean had also put himself in charge of handling everything.

It was the day after Sam had been discharged from the hospital when he awoke to Dean sat on the edge of his bed across the room having an argument down the phone with someone.

Sam closed his eyes to almost slits, pretending to be asleep as he began to lipread.

"My brother had nothing do with this. It was a fire for fuck sake!" Dean clearly shouted.

Oh god...

Sam visibly paled at the words.

"No, you won't. He's sleeping so no, I'm not going to translate for you..." Dean paused, obviously listening to the Moore's reply. "We just got out of the hospital yesterday. Sam was treated for smoke inhalation and is still on an oxygen cannula for it so he's still recovering. That's why I won't wake him up so I can translate what you want to say to him. He's not avoiding you, he doesn't even know you've been calling. I haven't told him because the doctors said that it's not ideal for him to be stressed right now. He's been struggling for oxygen enough already." Dean paused once again. "Look, I know you're just looking out for your daughter, but you gotta' understand that I gotta' look out for my brother here too."

Dean listened to the Moore's response.

"I'm taking Sam to pay his respects, even if it's a few hours after the funeral, he's going. You can't stop us."

Dean's lips stilled once again.

"Jess was his girlfriend, and you're banning him from the funeral because of some stupid, false accusations." He paused. "Jess wouldn't want this. She'd want her boyfriend at that funeral sat front and center. You gotta' accept Jess' wishes."

The words that followed from the other side of the phone must have brought better news because Dean's expression changed to a small smile. "Thank you." He then placed the phone back on the receiver.

Sam closed his eyes.

Dean walked over to his little brother's bed and sat down on the edge. He gently rested a hand gently on his shoulder. "I wasn't gonna' let them stop your from seeing her one last time, Sammy." He sighed. "Jess seemed like a great kid..." Dean paused once again. "I'm proud of you, kiddo."

* * *

The funeral was painful and made Sam wish to never attend another ever again. By there very nature, funerals were morbid, but the significance of what was about to happen made Sam want to do nothing more than sprint out of the doors of the church and never set a foot back inside again.

Dean's hand on his knee brought him back from his thoughts.

'You okay?' He signed.

Sam nodded.

'Liar'

* * *

After the service, they followed the procession out to the graveyard where the coffin was buried and Jess' Mom, Dad, Sister, and Auntie all said a few words before dropping some dirt down into the grave. Sam found himself thankful for the fact he didn't have to speak.

Dean noticed his little brother shaking and took Sam's hand in his own before squeezing it in reassurance, all without drawing attention to them, like he knew Sam was panicked about doing. The chick flick moment rule had well and truly been forgotten in the time that had passed since her death and Sam couldn't be more grateful, he'd found himself needing the support more and more as each day fell.

The priest said a few words to finish the service before it was over.

Sam was the first of the group surrounding the graveside to turn and walk away. He swiped a hand across his nose as he blinked repeatedly a few times against the tears that had not stopped falling since they arrived. Making his way over to the Impala which was parked just outside the cemetery gates, Sam waited for Dean to unlock her before opening his door and sitting down sideways on his seat so that his legs were outside of the car. He buried his head into his hands and took a couple of deep breaths.

A tap on his shoulder had him looking up.

'You okay?' Dean asked, repeating his words from early, his big brother senses instantly knowing that grief wasn't the only thing affecting him. "I knew being out this long was a mistake."

"D'm, I'm fine." Sam stated. "Just a little sore. And anyway, Doctor said I have to get used to breathing without cannula. They did all tests and lungs are fine. I just sore and tired, it not my lungs."

Dean nodded. "I believe you, but you better not be lying to me." He smiled before walking round to the driver's seat and climbing in.

"Why don't we go check out Blackwater Ridge?" Sam suggested.

"No."

"D'n..."

"No, Sam." Dean stated sternly.

"Why?!"

"Because you're still recovering. We're not going hunting."

"I just told you I fine."

"And it was total bull. We're not going." Dean retorted.

"Dad still out there, D'n..."

"Since when did you start caring about..." Dean blurted before realising what he'd said. "Sam..."

"It okay..." Sam smiled. "Honestly, it okay." He paused. "To be honest, I just really want to leave here."

Dean paused for a few seconds before sighing. "Fine." He turned the key in the ignition before putting Baby into gear. "We'll go back to the motel, get changed and then hit the road."

Sam smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, bitch."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Jerk."


	21. Faith

**Summary:** Tag to 1x12 - Reverse 'Faith' where Sam is the one given a few weeks to live and Dean is determined to save his little brother.

* * *

'Lying B-A-S-T-A-R-D' Sam signed. 'You said we seeing a doctor'

"Technically I said a specialist." Dean answered.

'So you brought me to man in tent?...' Sam retorted, sarcastically.

"I found an old contact in Dad's journal and he said this guy was the real deal. It's a shot, and I'm taking it."

"Oh yeah 'cause Dad's journal is the height of reliabil..." Sam's sentence broke off as he began coughing violently.

"Sam?!" Dean's eyes widened as he closed the distance between himself and his little brother before offering a reassuring yet firm pat to try and end the coughing fit.

Once the coughs had ceased, Dean looked to Sam with watery eyes.

"I know this all looks awful, and Dad isn't always right, and that the last place you want to be when you're sick is in a muddy field in the middle of nowhere after a six hour drive, but please..." His tone was reduced to a beg. "...this guy could actually help. He could genuinely cure you, and I won't walk away until we find out whether that's true of not." Dean paused. "Please, Sammy..."

Sam was silent for a few seconds before he finally nodded.

Dean smiled. "Come on." He placed his hand on Sam's back and led him towards the tent.

* * *

They had been **very** early to the morning communion and so the choice of seats was not an issue. Picking the front row, much to Sam's dismay, Dean sat down and held out an arm.

Knowing exactly what this meant, Sam sat down too before leaning closer to his brother as they waited for others to begin arriving.

* * *

Dean looked down at his little brother. Sam's head was resting against his shoulder, eyes half-lidded as he stared at nothing in particular. He was in pain, the observation clearly an understatement from the distance between Sam and the world around him.

Dean heard the light whimper that escaped Sam's lips, the one that he probably even realise was audible. Tightening his hold on his little brother, hand wrapping further around Sam to bundle him even closer against his side, Dean lightly traced the letters 'O' and 'K' on his arm.

Hearing aids long discarded into the glove compartment of the Impala, Sam was in a world of silence. His little brother hadn't been doing so well on the auditory front, with even the whisps of sounds making him feel sick, so Sam had quickly elected not to wear them.

Everyone around them began to cheer and clap before an old guy walked out onto the stage.

"Welcome. Welcome, friends." The Pastor paused. "Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann, reads me the news. Never seems good, does it?"

The audience agreed.

"Seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act. But, I say to you, God is watching. God rewards the good, and He punishes the corrupt. It is the Lord who does the healing here friends. The Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts."

"Oh dear, god..." Dean mumbled under his breath.

"Not impressed, young man." The Pastor commented.

Sam furrowed an eyebrow, following the Pastor's gaze to his brother. He offered a smack to his arm.

Layla in the row behind them chuckled.

"You are not here to be healed, but someone you love very dearly is. I am right?" The Pastor asked.

Dean cleared his throat. "Yeah, my uhh, my brother."

"Your brother." The Pastor nodded with a smile before his wife positioned him slightly so that he was looking at Sam. "Oh my...So much plagues you, young one. Deafness, convulsions, a brain injury, and now your heart. Our Father has been most brutal upon you."

Sam's head dropped in embarrassment at the Pastor's proclamation to the crowd around him, cheeks flushing pink as anxiety flooded through him.

Dean felt his heart tear at the sight. His little brother has always been the religious one of the two of them. He had caught him praying a few times over their childhood, mostly for the safe return of their Dad, but it was obvious that Sam found some kind of reassurance from it, despite everything that they knew.

"I'd like you to come up here with me."

Dean's eyes widened before he turned and looked down at Sam, trying to find his gaze.

'Hey' He signed. After a few seconds, Dean followed this with Sam's sign name.

Sam slowly looked up.

'Go.' Dean pointed to the stage. 'I right here. Not going anywhere'

Silent for a few seconds longer, Sam eventually spoke up. 'Promise?'

Dean smiled with a nod. 'Promise.'

Sam took a deep breath before slowly getting up from his chair, wincing slightly in pain as he did so. Making his way across to the stage, the Pastor's wife came to help him up the steps.

The Pastor walked over to Sam and gently placed a hand on his sleeve.

"I can heal it all, friend." He stated. "In a few minutes, you will be free of your burdens. Awakened once again to experience everything our Father's Earth has to offer us, his children."

"Not hearing." Sam stated.

The Pastor furrowed an eyebrow. "What, son?"

"You can heal me if you want, but that not need healed. I not broken. Just like you not broken either' Sam's voice cracked and wavered as he briefly glanced at the crowd, feeling sick as he did so. Hundreds of faces were staring back at him. Sam knew that he should've made that statement with strength and pride, but he was finding it hard to locate and convey any emotion other than pure fear.

The Pastor smiled softly and nodded. "Pray with me, friends." Raising a hand, he placed it down abruptly on Sam's cheek.

Sam turned to Dean with an anxious expression, soon noticing how green around the gills his brother also looked.

The Pastor continued his address of the congregation but Sam was unable to see his lips meaning he had to just stand there and wait as the Pastor continued to hold his face.

A minute or so later, he began to feel weird. Something was wrong and he soon found himself falling down to his knees, hissing in pain as he did so.

"Gah..." Sam cried out, voice trembling.

"Sam!" Dean shouted, jumping up from his seat with so much speed that it tipped backwards before running over, ascending the steps of the stage, and kneeling down next to his little brother, gathering him up in his arms.

Sam was shaking, the Pastor's hand still against his cheek. In a few seconds, it withdrew and Sam dropped, flopping further against his older brother in exhaustion, eyes fluttering, so very close to unconsciousness. He gasped.

'Sam? Sam?' Dean signed, frantically.

Sam was still, breathing slow before his eyes rose to meet his brother's looking down at him. 'Okay' He signed in reassurance.

'Can you walk?'

Sam nodded. 'Help me?'

Dean smiled, placing his hands under his little brother's armpits to help him upright with the utmost care before wrapping his arms around Sam to take his weight.

"We need a hospital."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"Well, this religious healing stuff has been great, but I'm not gonna' open the champagne until a Doc gives me some cold hard proof." Dean stated.

Sam smirked.


	22. Drunk

**Summary:** Sam gets drunk after a fight with Jess

* * *

"I'm cutting you off." The barman stated, his tone alight with concern at the kid sat over the counter from him. "You got a way of getting home? Maybe there's someone I could call to come and pick you up?"

"I not an invalid..." A drunken voice replied, snappily.

The barman furrowed an eyebrow with a scowl. "Never said you were." He scoffed before grabbing the landline. "Seriously kid, just give me a number. Or maybe you have a cell that I could find a contact on?"

"Yeah, whatever..." Stumbling up from the barstool, the tall, wild-haired student proceeded to walk through the crowds before exiting the bar.

"Hey!" The barman shouted after him. "Come on..." He sighed before muttering his breath. "Stupid kid."

* * *

Sam blinked a couple times as he tried to clear his vision. The alcohol was _really_ starting to kick in now. It was well beyond the fun stage and he was fast approaching the, 'you really don't want to be on your own right now' stage. Maybe getting blind drunk five blocks away from the apartment wasn't the best idea in the world.

The apartment.

Of course. The reason behind all this.

Well...it wasn't the apartment's fault.

Sam frowned. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He said aloud before smirking at his idiocy. "Uh oh..."

Placing a hand against the wall to steady himself, Sam promptly threw up beside the dumpster at the entrance to the alley. It was only when he was sure that there was nothing left in his stomach to excrete that he slowly began to stand upright once again, but even that proved difficult.

"Fuck me..." He groaned under his breath before scowling at the sight of the vomit on his sleeve. "Well that's disgusting."

Sam had always teased his brother for being the germ freak of the family, but he couldn't argue that his own OCD meant for the almost the same habits as Dean. Using the side of the dumpsters lid, Sam cleaned his sleeve, as much as someone could 'clean' their sleeve by wiping it against the lid of a dumpster, before continuing on slowly down the street.

Stanford was pretty at night. There weren't any stars to be seen due to the amount of light pollution, and it was predominantly cloudy, but that didn't spoil anything for Sam. If he was truthful, seeing stars was something that he never really wanted to do without his brother, there was something special about lying on the hood of the Impala, parked out in some field in the middle of nowhere. When he would stargaze with Dean as kids they would always invent name signs for the constellations, each one more bizarre than the last, until the two of them were giggling like idiots.

Sam smiled, but the expression slowly fell away.

He missed Dean.

It was moments like this that he missed him the most. Moments when he didn't know what to do.

Dean would always know _exactly_ what to do because despite however many times he'd try and deny it, his brother was the naturally smart one, and Sam was just the academic one.

He was three blocks away from the apartment now, and as much as he wanted to not be outside in the black dark, Sam knew that he wasn't welcome at the apartment, Jess had made that very clear in their argument earlier.

It had been anything but pretty.

 _'What is wrong with you?!'_

 _Sam scowled. 'Me?! You the one who came home all angry and started tearing strips out of me just 'cause I not cleaned up.'_

 _'You not even have class today!' Jess replied, angrily._

 _'That not mean I not busy. I have work, you know! I not just laze around doing fuck all, I actually have to earn money, unlike you.'_

 _Jess glared at him. 'And what that supposed to mean?...'_

 _'It means that Mommy and Daddy treat you like fucking royalty. They grant your every last wish because little Jess can't be without something she wants for more than a day. You wouldn't know what it like to ruff it even if it bit you in ass. You work just to get extra money. Try working a billion hours a week on top of classes just to try and earn enough to pay rent and eat!'_

 _Jess was clearly holding back tears. 'You're a dick.'_

 _Sam scoffed._

 _A tear trickled down Jess' cheek. 'Go away, Sam...' Her hands shook slightly as she signed._

 _Sam's expression softened. 'Jess...I...I sorry...I didn't...'_

 _'Please go away, Sam' Tears were flowing full force now as she turned away from him. Sam could see her shoulders shaking._

 _A slight vibration behind him alerted him to the door opening. A few seconds later, Brady walked over. He looked between the two of them with a furrowed brow before walking over to Jess and placing a hand on her shoulder. Brady then looked back over at Sam._

 _"I think you should go."_

And so Sam had, straight to a bar as far from the apartment as he could find. Fast forward many, many beers later and voila.

He almost felt sick again at the memory of making Jess cry. He hated seeing her upset, and it ate him up inside that he was the reason behind those tears. But that's what he did so well, making people feel miserable.

Sam didn't even know what had come over him. Why had he even said those things? What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Ughhh..." His stomach churned. Wrapping his arms around his midsection. Sam leant back against the wall of the park, taking deep breaths as he tried to not throw up, which was proving harder than he'd imagined.

Something seemed off. Something was definitely not helping his queasiness, but what the hell was it?

Sam reached a hand up to his ear. "Nope, not that." He then reached up to his other. "Oh for fuck sake."

One of his hearing aids were gone.

Sam rolled his eyes, yanking out the other one and shoving it into the pocket of his jeans.

"Great...just fucking great..."

Sliding down the wall so that he was sat down with his back against it, Sam sighed.

"Living the dream..." He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back until it made contact with the red brick.

* * *

A hand on his shoulder brought him back round.

Jumping in shock, Sam swung a punch wildly out of instinct before opening his eyes.

The punch had made contact.

Whoever had touched his shoulder was kneeling in front of him, head dipped as they dabbed at their bleeding nose.

 _'Bullseye. And that with my eyes closed while also drunk.'_ Sam thought to himself, proudly before realising that he really needed to find out whether that punch was deserved or not. Stanford was a pretty good area, so the chances of this guy just being a concerned passer-by were high. Which meant the chances of Sam not getting locked up for assault were low.

"Shit, I really sorry."

'Nice shot, Sasquatch.' Bloody hands signed to him.

Sam furrowed an eyebrow before his drunken brain finally caught up. He exhaled. "D'n...what are you doing here?"

"I was looking for a beer." His idiot brother replied.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" Sam asked again, pausing after every word.

"Alright, alright, grumpy. I may have come to check up on you."

Sam groaned.

"Hey! I'm a big brother, I'm allowed to worry, it's part of the job description." Dean answered.

Sam scoffed. "Is this the part where you rescue me?"

"Why, do you need rescuing?" Dean gave his nose one last wipe with the back of his hand, which came away amazingly bloody, before he shuffled closer to his brother. "Woah!" Moving closer meant that the scent of his brother's breath became _very_ well known. "Jesus, how much have you drank?"

"Had an argument with Jess. She hates me." Sam answered, stumbly.

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you." Dean responded, leaning back against the wall next to him.

"I made her cry, De." Sam answered, sadly before his eyes became alight in fear. "I didn't mean to get angry with her, I don't even know what came over me." He rambled before burying his head in his hands. "God I'm such a fucking idiot." He began to cry.

Dean didn't really know how to respond to the thirty emotions Sam had displayed in the space of twenty seconds and so wordlessly, he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling his little brother close against his side.

* * *

Sam groaned as he found himself floating back to consciousness. The first thing he became aware of was the stench of alcohol that was very obviously coming from him. It truly was disgusting. The second was that he was lying on something squishy. It definitely wasn't their mattress but was still soft enough to not be the floor, or even the sidewalk. Flickering his eyes open, he found himself in the living room of the apartment. The sun was only beginning to rise, an amber glow shining through the brown shades. He was lying on the sofa, the garishly orange blanket covering him. Dean was spread out octopus style on the floor, his leather jacket being used as a comforter.

Surprisingly, his stomach was actually calm and his head was nowhere near as jackhammery as he was expecting. Someone had clearly forced him to drink countless bottles of water last night, and that someone was currently camped out on the pretty disgusting carpet of a moderately okay student apartment building.

Sam smiled.

Looking at the clock on the wall, it was about five AM. Maybe he could manage to make breakfast without burning the place down. He sniffed a few times.

 _'Maybe a shower first.'_ He decided.

Sam slowly rolled off the sofa, stumbling like a newborn fawn to his feet before his legs finally remembered how to be legs and took his weight.

* * *

After showering, Sam dried off before grabbing a pair of pyjama bottoms from the airer along with his purple dog shirt. He then made his way towards the kitchen. Stopping as he reached the doorway to the hallway, Sam sighed. Walking to their room, he gently pushed open the door, making sure that it wouldn't make any noise and wake Jess.

A small, curled up bundle lay beneath the white sheets, eyes red from tears.

Sam's heart broke once again at the sight.

Shifting slightly, he felt the vibration below his foot, knowing exactly what that meant for anyone else. He winced.

Jess moaned lightly before shifting. Her eyes slowly tracked to the doorway, the creaking floorboard giving away the presence of someone in the room. She exhaled slightly at the sight of Sam. Taking in his broken expression and haggard appearance, Jess knew he had not had the best night either.

"Are you okay?" She asked, making sure to sit up enough where the sheets wouldn't obscure his view of her lips. Jess rubbed her eye.

"I should be the one asking you that." He replied, tone heavy in guilt.

"Come here." Jess spoke softly.

Sam walked over to the bed before climbing into his side and lying down next to her. He was silent for a few seconds before he spoke up.

"I'm so sorry." His tone was sad and guilt laden.

"Can we talk about this later? It's way too early." Jess asked.

Sam smirked. "Of course."

Jess pulled the comforter up around herself more. "I'm glad you're back. It always terrifies me when you go off alone like that, and I don't mean that cause' of those." She lazily pointed in the direction of his ears.

"I'm here now." He smiled slightly before going to get up so that she could have some more sleep.

A hand reached out and gently took his wrist.

'Stay'

Sam smiled as he lay back down.

Jess shuffled closer to him before burying herself against his chest, head tucked in under his chin. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, feeling safe once again.

And Sam soon found himself drifting peacefully off too.


	23. Paws

**Summary:** Sam gets a hearing dog

 **One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

Sat on his bed in the motel room, Sam was leant back against the headboard as he read through various case files on his laptop. As the wall vibrated lightly behind his head, he turned to the door, eyes widening in confusion as he did.

Walking in alongside his brother, was a golden retriever.

Shoving the laptop to the side, Sam got up from the bed and walked across to the dog, kneeling down in front of it and brushing a hand through its soft fur. He looked up at his brother.

"His name is Bones." Dean answered. "And he's your dog."

Sam stilled. "Wait...what?"

"So a couple of months ago I found some flyer on a reception desk at a doctor's surgery we were questioning people at. I'd always thought that they just trained dogs for blind people, but then this flyer was talking about service hearing dogs for the deaf, and I was game." Dean closed the door behind him. "So I called the number, got through to a very charming young lady, and signed you up. I just had to send them all your documentation on your hearing and crap like that, and voila!" He paused. "Oh and the name Bones. I remembered that dog you had back at Flagstaff and put in a little request for this pup right here. Apparently they avoid people names so they were pretty much okay with it, although some of the volunteers were a little creeped out that I was wanting him to be called that. But who cares, if my weird ass brother decided to call a dog Bones when he was younger, it's more than good enough for his hearing dog."

Sam was speechless. "D'n..."

Before he had a chance to attempt thanking his brother, Dean held out the leash. "Here."

Sam took the red leather and un-clipped the leash from Bones' collar. He then looked back up to his brother.

"So basically, he hears for you. This clever little dude will..." Dean paused. "Actually, it's cooler to just show you." He pulled out his phone.

"D'n, he's not a performing monkey." Sam stated.

"It's his job, Sam. And you need to know how he is going to alert you to stuff." Dean retorted, mid-text. After hitting send, he looked up. "Watch."

The gaze of the two brothers fell to Sam's phone on the nightstand across the room. In a few seconds, the screen lit up.

"Dude, your phone is on silent!" Dean groaned. "Why is your phone on silent?!"

"Oh I don't know, why do you think my phone's on silent, D'n?!" Sam retorted, sarcastically.

"Whatever, just go put it on sound, or at least vibrate." Dean instructed. "I thought you had it on vibrate normally anyway?"

"I do. I must've just caught the button." Sam answered, walking across the room and clicking his phone volume on.

"Right now, you go and stand by the fridge with your back to the room." Dean positioned his brother.

"You're an idiot..." Sam muttered with a smirk.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean rolled his eyes before texting him once again.

After a few seconds had passed, Sam felt two light taps of Bones' nose on his leg.

He smiled, turning to the dog and his brother.

"Now say, 'What is it, Bones?'" Dean guided.

"What is it, Bones?"

Bones slowly turned around before padding over to the nightstand and sticking his nose out towards the phone.

Sam laughed with a beaming smile before offering a scratch to Bones' head.

"Thanks, Bones."

* * *

"SAMMY!" Dean screamed.

They had been fighting a Wendigo and seconds before Dean toasted the thing extra-crispy, the beast had managed to get one last hit in, it's arm colliding with Sam's stomach and throwing him backwards over the drop.

After the smoke had cleared enough to give Dean a visual of the area, he sprinted down the muddy path, slipping down the rest of the way until he came to the edge of the steep cliff edge.

Bones came running over to him. Looking up at the eldest Winchester with clear concern for his owner, the dog whined lightly.

"It's okay, buddy, we'll find him." Dean reassured, reaching a hand down and ruffling Bones' fur. He walked as close to the edge as he could and inspected the angle and height. The low hanging fog made judging the distance to the bottom impossible, and the angle was not going to be easy to scale. He knelt down beside Bones.

"Okay, Bones. Sam is down there somewhere and I don't think I can make it down that cliff this way. I need you to try and get down there as safely as you can and find Sam. I'll find you both, but just make sure he's not alone."

Bones barked.

"I'm trusting you to look after my little brother for me, Bonesie."

Bones barked once again and moved his head to rest it against Dean's leg for a few seconds.

"Good boy." Dean smiled. "Now be careful." He pointed down the cliff. "Go get him, Bones."

Bones barked one last time before he began to slowly descend the muddy slope. He managed to get about half of the way down before slipping and taking the rest of the journey on his stomach. The incline became smaller and smaller until finally evening out as he reached the forest floor.

Standing up, Bones shook off the mud from his coat, collar jingling as he did so. The odours of the forest were confusing and strong, but he held onto the scent of owner as he began to search.

Finding a large heap of leaves, Bones' nose lit up. Sprinting over, he buried his nose into the pile.

 _'Yes! That was owner!'_

Paws powering to work on moving away the leaves and branches, he soon caught sight of owner. He ecstatically licked at the face of owner, paws resting on his shoulder. A light groan could be heard before owner's eyes opened and his head turned to him.

Another groan followed before...

"Bones?"

Sam took in the sight of a mucky Bones centimetres away from his face and gasped out in pure emotion. His eyes watered immediately before a tear trickled down his cheek.

"Come here, boy."

Wrapping his arms around the dog, Sam held him close, stroking a hand through his golden fur.

"Did D'n send you, Bonesie?"

Bones barked.

Sam smiled. "'Course he did. And you found me 'cause you a clever dog. My clever dog."

Bones barked once again before delivering a large lick across owner's face.

"Awww, Bones!" Sam faked groaned before laughing.

Bones' nose began to sniff once again. He moved away from Sam's hug, head turning in the direction of his leg. Bones had smelt the blood.

"It's okay, Bonesie. I'll be fine, it just a small scratch. Had worse. You know I have." Sam reassured. "Dean help."

Bones didn't look convinced.

"You just like D'n, Bonesie." Sam smirked. "He worry too much too." He paused. "Thanks for coming to get me, Bonesie."

Bones padded gently across Sam's lap and rested himself against him, head tucked against Sam's chest.

Sam smiled, wrapping his arms around Bones once again.

* * *

Twenty minutes past before Bones' head shot up.

Gently untangling himself from Sam, Bones looked up at owner, noticing that he didn't look so good before sprinting off towards shorter owner, barking to alert shorter owner of their position.

Dean heard the barks and allowed himself to relax slightly. Finally getting a visual on Bones, he smiled.

"Where is he, buddy?"

Bones ran off, Dean quickly on his tail.

As they reached Sam, Dean's eyes widened before he closed the distance between the two of them and knelt down beside him.

"Sammy!"

Sam smiled. "D'n."

He turned to Bones.

"Where's he hurt, buddy?"

"Don't use my own dog against me." Sam smirked.

Bones walked round to Sam's injured leg and motioned with his nose. He then did the same with his head.

Dean turned to Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Bleeding leg and concussion, not good, Sammy."

"I'm 'kay. Bonesie looked after me."

"Damn right." Dean smiled.

Sam began to rub Bones' head.

"Come on, let's get you out of here, and Bones the biggest steak it's possible to buy in this state."

Bones barked excitedly.

Sam laughed.


	24. Taken: P1 - Back to the Bunker

**One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

Walking down the steps of the bunker with Bones and Cas in tow, Sam was trying his hardest not to break down in tears.

Dean was gone.

And this time he was gone for good. There was no going back from that.

Cas placed a hand gently on his shoulder before signing 'I so sorry. If you want to talk, I here'

Sam offered a weak smile before he felt Bones' nose tapping frantically on his leg. He furrowed an eyebrow. He turned to Cas to find him in attack mode, angel blade in hand. Bones had obviously caught someone's scent, and Cas had sensed them.

Cas put a finger to his lips before slowly beginning to walk down the remainder of the steps.

Sam followed slowly, hooping a finger in Bones' collar to stop it from jingling.

Reaching the map room, Sam immediately noticed a woman standing on the stairs to the library and reached for his gun, drawing it in seconds. He tried to keep a hold on Bones but the golden retriever got away from him.

Cas was running for him before he had the chance to work out what was happening. Seconds later, his hearing aids rang out. Sam knew immediately what that meant. He was unharmed, and he could see that Cas was the same. His eyes widened, turning to Bones who was lying slumped on the floor.

"BONES!"

Screaming in desperation, he knew that the woman was probably saying something but Sam couldn't give less of a shit.

The room erupted in light around him, and Cas was gone in a flash leaving only him, Bones, and the woman who going to die **very** , **very** , slowly if Bones had as much as a scratch on him.

Kneeling down beside his fallen companion, Sam pressed a hand to Bones' neck. The pulse was there but Bones' breathing was weak.

The floor began to vibrate under his knees.

Sam huffed angrily, trying to contain his anger before he got to his feet.

The woman was standing a few feet away across the room, gun still aimed on him.

"I am going to kill you..." He threatened through gritted teeth.

"No you're not." She answered with a smug smile.

His hearing aids rang out once again.

Crying out in pain as the bullet entered his leg, Sam collapsed to the floor of the bunker. Breathing through the burn of his wound, he quickly dragged himself backwards, crawling towards his gun that had fallen out of reach. His eyes fell back to Bones, clearly whimpering, his legs kicking slightly out, as he sometimes did when he was having a nightmare.

"It's okay, Bones. It's okay..." He tried to reassure, knowing that his voice was probably anything but reassuring.

As he closed in on the gun, high heels appeared in front of him before the weapon was kicked away.

Sam looked up at the woman once again, practically snarling now.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

She smiled once again.

"Toni Bevell, British Men of Letters, London Chapter House."

Sam's eyes widened.

And then everything went **black**.


	25. Taken: P2 - The Journey

**One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

He came to bound, gagged, bloody, and feeling nauseous in the back of a 4x4. Everything was a little blurry for a few seconds before he finally was aware of his surroundings.

Sam's first observation was Bones. His companion was lying a few metres away, shaking violently with blood dripping from a bullet hole in his side. Tears pricked at Sam's eyes at the sight of his friend in pain.

Before he could try and attract someone's attention, they were stopping. As the vibrations cut out, everything was still for about a minute and a half before the trunk door opened and the bitch who'd shot him was looking in along with a bodyguard and some other guy, who genuinely seemed concerned.

The guy quickly began to shake his head but the woman opened a purse that seemed to contain thousands of dollars, and amazingly, the guy ended up agreeing to whatever she had proposed.

In the minutes that followed he was roughly dragged from the 4x4, up the stairs to the guy's house, and shoved on a metal examination table.

The guy leaned down over him with a terrified expression before his gaze flew to something else.

Sam tried to get up slightly to see what he was looking at, but was roughly shoved back down against the table by the bodyguard. Instead, he turned his head and immediately found the source of the guy's concern.

They had also brought Bones inside and his injured friend was lying on an identical table to his own looking pale.

The woman was nowhere to be seen and the bodyguard was gone too. Sam presumed that they had left this guy to deal with them, whoever the fuck he was.

A hand on his shoulder pulled Sam from his thoughts. He looked up to see the guy with an expression of confusion.

"Are you ignoring me, man?"

Sam shook his head, cursing his gag and bounds.

The guy sighed before pulling down the fabric handkerchief being used as a gag.

Sam licked his dry lips before speaking up. "Deaf."

The guy's eyes widened. "You can understand me though, right?"

"Yeah." He answered, despite being pre-occupied trying to check on Bones.

"So I need to get that bullet out of your leg and suture it. I'll worn you though, it's gonna hurt like a bitch."

"Help my dog." Sam stated.

The guy furrowed an eyebrow. "But you're bleeding out quite fast and..."

"I not care! Just please, please help my dog." He begged.

The vet nodded before walking over to the other table.

"Hey, boy." Sam read. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay. We'll get you nice and fixed up." The vet turned to him. "What's his name?"

"Bones."

"He's beautiful." The vet smiled before his expression darkened. "That woman, did she do this to him?"

Sam nodded.

"Jesus..." The vet shook his head before offering a stroke to Bones' fur. "Hey, don't growl at me, the quicker I fix you up, the quicker I can help your owner."

Sam smirked, proud of the fact that even in pain, Bonesie was still looking out for him.

"He needs a few stitches, but he'll be fine." The vet explained.

Sam let out a sigh of relief.

"What is she going to do with you two?"

"I don't know." Sam answered, truthfully.

The vet was silent for about a minute as he got Bones stitched up before he eventually spoke up once again. "I'm sorry."

Sam shook his head. "Save my dog and we even. I not care what you do with me."

The vet smiled. "You really love him."

"He's one of only two people that I have left in my life. Bones is everything to me, and he has been for years, and not just because of the hearing thing. He's one of my best friends."

The vet nodded. "This woman, she clearly has plans for you, and there's nothing I can do about that. But I can try and save your dog. I'll talk to her about him staying here. Obviously it's your choice, but she clearly is not a good person and this way you would know Bones was in safe hands here. I don't hurt animals, and I do not like people who do. If she even tries to hurt him again then things will get ugly."

"Thank you." Sam smiled, genuinely. "Honestly, thank you."

"You're welcome." He finished stitching up Bones. "There you go buddy." The vet offered a scratch to the dog's belly before turning and walking over to Sam. "She wouldn't let me give you any anesthesia before I did this, and I can't risk giving you a dose if she's going to be administering it to you too."

"I've had worse, just do it." Sam nodded.

The vet nodded before picking up a pair of tweezers from the silver tray and putting the gag back in place.

"You'll probably need that."


	26. Taken: P3 - The Cavalry Arrives

**One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

Cas pulled away from Dean, eyes still wide in disbelief of his friend being alive.

"Where's Sam?" Dean looked around. "And Bones?"

"A woman, she was waiting for us when we got here. Bones sniffed her out but she was ready, Dean. She knew I was an angel and poofed me away before I could get to her." Cas paused. "She shot Bones, but that blood in the war room, that's not his, that's Sam's."

Dean's eyes widened. "Do you have any idea who she was, or where she could have taken them?"

Cas shook his head.

"Then we need to go. Mom, stay here." And with that, Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala from the table before rushing off out the bunker.

* * *

Having tracked the woman's 4x4, the trail led to a veterinary surgery on the outskirts of town. Getting out of the Impala, Dean turned to Cas.

"You got anything?"

"One human, one animal." Cas answered. "If this man is a vet though, that doesn't mean it's Bones, it could just be another dog."

"I know..." Dean sighed. "One way to find out though." Cocking his gun, he walked down the pathway. He motioned for Cas to knock on the door while he hid round the edge of the house.

There was no response for a few seconds before a man finally answered the door.

"Who?..." He began before Dean emerged, gun aimed on him. "Woah, woah, woah! Okay, okay, please don't shoot."

"Where are Sam and Bones?!" Cas growled in anger, grabbing the man by the collar of his shirt.

"Who?" The man furrowed an eyebrow.

"My brother. Tall guy, brown hair, with a golden retriever." Dean added, walking over to them, gun still trained on the guy.

"Oh." Realisation kicked in for the guy. "Yeah, some woman brought them here at like 4AM this morning."

"In what condition?" Dean asked.

"They were both shot, the dog on his side, the guy in his leg. He begged me to treat his dog first and then I dug the bullet out of him, sutured it, and gave the woman some anesthesia that she didn't end up giving him." The guy explained.

"How bad was it?" Dean's voice shook slightly.

"As good as a bullet in the leg could be."

"Do you know where she was going?" Cas questioned.

The guy shook his head. "I don't know what she wanted with him, but I have his dog in the surgery."

Dean and Cas' eyes widened.

"You have Bones here?!" Dean clarified.

The guy nodded. "I told her that the last thing she wanted was a dog around when doing whatever the hell she was gonna do to him, and she ended up agreeing with me."

"Take us to him."

"He's just through here." The guy answered. "You gonna put the gun down now?"

Dean did before following Cas and the guy into the house and through to the surgery at the back.

On a metal examination table, whimpering lightly, was Bones. His golden fur was covered in blood on his right side.

"I haven't had the chance to clean him up yet, I didn't want to cause him anymore pain by disturbing his wound." The vet explained.

"Hey, Bonesie." Dean spoke up, softly, approaching the dog slowly.

Bones head raised as he heard the sound of shorter owner's voice. He barked happily before smiling as shorter owner began to stroke his head.

Cas walked over too. "Let me get you healed up, buddy." He gently laid his hand on Bones' side, a light blue glow appearing before the wound was no more.

"There you go, Bonesie." Dean cood. "Good as new."

Now healed, Bones was on his feet in seconds, pressing his head against his two other owners. He whimpered for the absence of his proper owner.

"I know, Bonesie, we'll find Sam." Dean picked Bones up and deposited him down onto the floor.

As they turned to the vet, his expression was that of disbelief.

"What? How did you?"

"Long story." Cas answered. "Let's go."

He walked out of the house, Bones padding along behind him.

"Thank you, for looking after Bones. Sam will really appreciate that." Dean thanked.

"No problem. I hope your brother is okay."

Dean nodded before leaving the house too.


	27. Taken: P4 - Devotion

**One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

As they drove down the road towards the house, Bones was already becoming antsy. Pulling up, Cas pushed open the door and the golden retriever quickly jumped out.

Dean walked round to the trunk and took out one of Sam's plaid shirts.

"Here you go, buddy." He held it out to Bones to use as a scent.

The golden retriever shot him a look of 'amateur' before sprinting off.

"Bones!" Dean shouted, despite trying to keep his voice as low as possible to avoid being heard, but Bones simply ignored him.

They both rushed after him down the path.

* * *

Groaning in pain as he tried to navigate round the basement, Sam leant heavily against the walls as his leg screamed out in protest. A few seconds later, a sharp, high-pitched ringing began in his hearing aids.

"Gah!" Sam moaned, ripping them from his ears and throwing them across the room. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him.

Charlie lay dead in the bathtub of the motel before the image morphed into Gadreel burning Kevin's eyes out. Then Sarah dying. Then Dean and Meg, before fire exploding around Mom pinned to the ceiling.

"No!" He screamed, before gasping as a figure materialised. "Jess..."

'Look at you. You pathetic. Weak. Waste of space. Bloodsucking freak. You killed me. You killed everyone.' She signed.

"Jess, please..." Sam's voice shook.

'Did you really think I loved you? I felt sorry for you. Poor, loner, Sam Winchester. Daddy not love you, and brother not give crap. Why I not feel same about you?'

The youngest Winchester screwed his eyes closed, willing her to disappear. Taking a breath, he opened them a few seconds later.

She was gone. A new figure was now in her place, and Sam's heart ripped in two.

"Dean..."

'I dead because you' Dean signed. 'This all your fault. We all dead because you'

"No..." Sam shook his head.

'It should be you. You should be dead not us. Why you live not us, Sam?'

"Dean...please..." He begged.

'You freak. You freak. You freak. Your freak...' Dean repeated over and over and over.

"No..." The youngest Winchester turned away, but his brother moved straight back in front of him.

'Look at me you monster. You demon. I dead because of you. My death is on you.'

"I didn't..." He attempted.

'You're not my brother. You not deserve to be.'

"No! No! Please! Please, Dean!" Sam screamed in desperation.

'Why don't you just die?!' Dean poofed away.

Gasping, a tear trickled down his cheek. Collapsing to his knees, a sob escaped his throat. Noticing a shard of glass from the mirror, Sam picked it up.

"I'm so sorry..." He whimpered before moving the shard to his neck.

* * *

Bones was frantically scratching at the door, even giving it a few heavy thuds with his head.

"He's down here, buddy?" Dean asked before opening the deadbolt. "Cas, you find that bitch."

Cas nodded.

As soon as Dean had even fractionally opened the door, Bones sped round it and down into the basement. He immediately spotted his real owner and sprinted over, noticing the sharp implement. Barking loudly, he slammed into Sam, knocking him to his side and most importantly, getting the glass away from him. He then growled warningly at his real owner.

Dean had also made pace down the stairs and had arrived at the bottom to find Bones growling away at a very distressed Sam.

"Bones, stop it." He commanded, and the golden retriever instantly backed down, picking the shard up with his teeth and carrying it over to him. Dean leant down to take the glass from Bones before patting him on the head with a sigh. "Good job, buddy." His tone was sad, realising just what exactly Bones had prevented his little brother from doing.

"Dean?!" Sam's eyes were wide and unbelieving.

Dean closed the gap between them and knelt down in front of his little brother, taking his hands in his own. "It's me, Sammy. It's really me."

"How?"

"I'll explain that later." He smiled. "How about we focus on you for now, huh?" Before Dean got an answer, he found himself with arms full of Sam as his little brother launched himself towards him. Sam sobbed into his plaid shirt, head resting on his shoulder. 'Okay' Dean traced onto his little brother's back. 'All okay'

* * *

Sam was lying across the back bench of the Impala, Bones lying on top of him. The golden retriever had his head buried against the youngest Winchester's chest, and kept looking up at him every so often to make sure he was okay. Sam stroked his hand through his companion's soft fur, smiling in relief that he was okay after that bitch had shot him.

"I saw you running in there all guns blazing." He smirked, whispering to Bones. "You definitely are a Winchester."

Bones leaned up and lapped lightly at his real owner's cheek.

Sam smirked. "I love you too, Bonesie. Thanks for saving me."

A few minutes later, both owner and companion were both fast asleep, content and safe.

Dean glanced back in the rear-view mirror and smiled.

"Awww."

He turned his music down slightly to lower the amount of vibrations, before continuing on home.


	28. Regarding Sam

**Summary:** Reverse of 12x11

* * *

Sam took a deep breath.

'My name Sam Winchester. Dean my brother. Mary my Mom. Cas my best friend'

Staring intently at his reflection in the mirror, Sam took another breath before continuing.

"Ughhh...okay. My name is Sam Winchester. Dean is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my Mom, and Cast...Cas is my best friend." Pausing, he looked down at his hands. "I can do this."

'My name Sam' 'Winchester' 'My name' 'My name'

The youngest Winchester's expression was that of pure fear as he raised one of his hands to his neck, resting it against his vocal chords.

"My...My name Sam. Sam Wi—Winchester." He took a breath. "You can do this...You can do this..."

Sam looked back down at his hands once again.

'My'

He willed himself to sign, but found himself unable.

Gasping, Sam scrubbed a hand down his face before looking back at his reflection, thick, heavy tears beginning to fall down his cheeks as the youngest Winchester struggled to keep his composure, body shaking.

"M—m—I..."

Clamping a hand against his throat once again, Sam closed his eyes taking a deep breath before opening his mouth and trying to speak.

...

Not a single vibration could be felt beneath his palm.

Sam's lip began to tremble as he broke down, legs collapsing under him, sending him to the floor. Leaning back against the side of the bathtub, the youngest Winchester pulled his legs close to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and burying his head down as he sobbed.

A hand on his shoulder startled him a few seconds later, Sam's eyes flying to meet Dean, who was knelt down in front of him.

"What's wrong?"

Sam wiped away the tears from his face with the sleeve of his plaid shirt before placing his hand flat over his mouth.

"You can still lipread, right?"

Sam nodded.

'You sign?'

The expression of confusion on the youngest Winchester's face gave Dean his answer.

"Okay, you need to listen to me, okay, Sammy?" He sat down next to his little brother and gently took Sam's hands in his, offering them a squeeze. "I am going to fix this, okay? I am going to make sure that this ends." Dean didn't want to imagine what it was like for Sam at that moment, unable to communicate and deteriorating with every minute that passed. "I'm gonna' make this right, I promise." He smiled before signing. 'Sammy'

Sam furrowed an eyebrow. Pointing to the sign Dean had just made, the youngest Winchester then turned his finger round to himself.

'Sammy' Dean nodded. "Yeah, that's you. Good job, buddy." He tried to hold his composure as memories of his brother learning ASL as a child popped into his head. Dean tried to shake them off. "Can you sign my name? Can you remember?"

The youngest Winchester seemed to think about this for a few seconds before he signed 'D'.

And that's when Dean broke. He didn't care that it was only a single letter. The sign was all he needed to know that his little brother was holding on.

Standing up from the bathroom floor, Dean held out a hand to Sam and pulled him slowly to his feet.

"Okay, so you're gonna' stay here while I go and pay a visit to those sons of bitches."

Sam's eyes became alight in horror as soon as the words left his lips, one of the youngest Winchester's hands coming to rest on the collar of his shirt, the other on his arm, gripping pleadingly.

"Hey..." Dean began softly, knowing exactly what had spurred that reaction from his little brother. "I am coming back for you, okay? I am just going to kill those A-holes and then I'm coming right back to make sure you're recovering. Until then, you just need to be brave and sit tight." He led Sam through into the main room, sitting him back down once again on the edge of his bed. "So, if you watch these cartoons, then I'll be back before you know it."

Sam's hands rose to cup his face, puppy dog eyes set to full power.

"You'll not even notice I'm gone." Dean smiled before the expression fell away as the words truly hit home to him. Feeling sick to the depths of his stomach, the eldest Winchester took a deep breath before pulling his little brother into a hug and squeezing him on the shoulder. "Right back, kiddo." And with that, he rushed out of the motel room, ready to kill some witches.


	29. Sam and Caleb

**Summary:** Sam is annoyed and upset after being dumped with Caleb while Dad and Dean are hunting

 **One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

"Sam, I know you're upset..."

The youngest Winchester was currently leant against the doorframe of the passenger side, head resting on the window, as he stared blankly out the window.

"Sam..." Caleb tried again.

Nothing.

'Come on, Samaroo' He signed one-handedly, which proved much harder to articulate then he'd originally imagined.

Sam feigned interest in that, turning his head slightly in Caleb's direction.

'What?' He replied.

"How ya' doing, bud?"

"Like I'm being purposely kept out the way by Dad, and everyone was just sorta' okay with it, including Dean." The bitterness of Sam's tone was heavily present, but Caleb couldn't help but notice the sadness that followed that last statement regarding Dean. That was clearly the part which was affecting the youngest Winchester the most. The fact that his brother, a guy who would normally punch anyone who dared to even look at Sam in the wrong way, just up and decided to agree with their Dad, someone famously awful at understanding Sam, obviously had the kid a little riled and upset about the whole chain of events.

"That's not true, kiddo."

'Really?! It certainly seem like it'

"Sam..."

'I furious. You not treat me like this'

"We're not treating you like anything." Caleb tried to explain.

'So why me not hunting with them' Sam asked. 'Why me here?'

"Keeping me company." The older teen smiled. "And Pastor Jim needs some help at the church."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Oh, Sam, come on, dude..." Caleb sighed. "It's not _that_ bad. Your Dad is just trying to keep you safe."

'Who fucking cares!' The youngest Winchester screamed.

"Excuse me!"

Sam huffed, crossing his arms and slumping against the doorframe.

"No, we're not done talking about this. And you need to watch your mouth, John would have your hide if he saw you signing like that, and Pastor Jim won't be happy either if you keep this up." Caleb paused. "This attitude you're developing, it's gonna' get you nowhere so just drop it, will ya'." He stated, sternly.

Sam was silent for a few seconds, biting his tongue and breathing heavily in annoyance before turning back to Caleb. "Why?! It not like Dad give a damn about me anyway. So what, I have an attitude; in this fucking family, I deserve the right to have. I mean, you all scream and bawl at each other nine-thousand times a day. But no, I not allowed to be annoyed when you all treat me like garbage, and send me to random people to look after just because you don't trust me not to fuck up. Because that all anyone in this family sees me as, just a big fuck up that you having to deal with because you have to. I not stupid. I not weak. I not broken. I fully capable of doing everything you do, and you know that. I can feel vibrations you would never been able to sense. I can gain intel without people knowing by reading their lips, 'cause like you, they think I stupid and won't understand what they're saying. I give you guys a way of communication without a single word leaving your mouths, which makes stealth achievable on hunts. So don't you dare try and tell me that all of this is to protect me, because ninety-nine percent of the time, I saving all your asses without you even realising! Like last month, I took out a shapeshifter that you guys hadn't even noticed when I was 'bringing up the rear'...you welcome, by the way."

"Stop swearing." Caleb lectured before taking a deep breath. "Sam, John loves you boys. And I know he has a funny way of showing it sometimes, but he does." He paused. "You don't even like hunting, kiddo. You told me that a while back."

"That not the point!"

"Your brother likes hunting, you know that, and I think he just saw this one as a chance to spend some time with your Dad. And I know that John should be including you too, but answer me honestly, did you actually want to even go on that hunt?"

Sam was silent for a few seconds before speaking up.

"No..."

"So why were you so determined to go on this hunt, kiddo?"

"Hunting is _all_ Dad does. He never wants to do anything I like, which is why D'n his favourite." Sam's tone reflected the saddened expression he was wearing. "That why I try and go with them, so I can spend time with them, but they never want me...Nobody does."

Caleb took a breath. "How about when we hit Blue Earth we go to the library, they just got computers in there and it's pretty cool."

Sam's face lit up. 'Really?!' He beamed.

"Sure, kiddo." Caleb nodded.

'Thank you' The youngest Winchester signed.

"Why don't you get some sleep, buddy, we still have a long drive till we get there."

'Okay' Sam shuffled against the doorframe, leaning his head against the window. Closing his eyes, his breath began to slowly even out over the next few minutes until the kid was fast asleep.

Caleb smiled sadly at the younger boy before grabbing his mobile phone from his pocket. Dialling a number, he was amazed when the call actually connected. "John? We need to talk."


	30. A Study In Signs: Emotion 1

**A Study in Signs: How Emotional State Affects the Articulation of Signed Language by Dean Winchester**

 _Emerson High - December 1997_

 _In this project, I will be discussing the relation between sign articulation and emotional state. The subject was my little brother, Sam and the evidence sourced in this paper was all collected over the course of the year. All data collected is legitimate and un-staged as although Sam tried to sign 'correctly' and in the standard taught method of hand movement when signing in the first week or so, due to the length of time in which data was collected, he either forgot that I was observing or didn't care._

 _The footage included after every emotion description was filmed by me using the video camera provided._

* * *

 **EMOTION 1: HAPPINESS/CONTENTMENT/EXCITEMENT**

 _Positive emotions have a big effect on Sam's articulation, meaning that they are typically larger than life movements that are vastly more open than the others I will mention later in this project. Sam's lip mouthing tends to fall behind his signing as a result of this emotional state, especially during moments of excitement where he frequently signs at a pace that only those with a firm grasp of ASL would find be able to follow._

* * *

"Hey, Sam!" Dean called, walking over and tapping his brother on the shoulder.

Sam turned, eyes rolling as he noticed the video camera that was being shoved in his face. He went to shove it away but Dean slapped his hand.

"What do you want?"

"Sign, dude." Dean responded.

Sam huffed in annoyance but did. 'Why you want me sign?'

"For the video."

'You no sign'

"They can't see me, knucklehead. I have to say it."

"Oh yeah." Sam remembered before smirking.

"Anyway, where are we going tomorrow?" Dean asked.

The youngest Winchester's face lit up in seconds, a huge smile coming to his face. 'A music concert cause you awesome!'

"Who's concert is it, Sammy?"

'Don't call me Sammy on the camera.' Sam scowled but continued regardless. 'Pearl Jam'

"And how much do you like Pearl Jam?"

The next few minutes consisted of Sam's hands flying all over the place as he signed quickly and openly, the smile never leaving his expression as he described which songs he loved, his appreciation for the band members, his excitement for going to his first ever music concert.

Sam took a deep breath, smile softening.

'Honestly. Thank you, Dean'

Dean smiled. "No problem, I'm glad you liked your birthday present."

'I love it! It best present ever!'

* * *

 _As you will observe in the next clip, when we attended the Pearl Jam concert, not only does Sam experience happiness alongside all the excitement you have already witnessed, but hints of Sam's shyness comes out too as he finds himself feeling nervous in the crowd of people we were surrounded by in front of the stage._

 _In this clip, my friend Josh (who also had a ticket for the concert) is filming us because I had to have my hands free._

* * *

Stood amongst the crowd at the concert, Sam was practically bobbing up and down in excitement for them to appear on stage.

Dean smirked, placing a comforting hand on his little brother's shoulder.

'You okay?'

Sam nodded, although it was clear he was nervous.

'You got this, Sammy.'

'But they see' The youngest Winchester motioned around them with his hand.

Dean shrugged. 'Who cares? You here to enjoy yourself. Screw them'

Sam smiled before throwing himself at his older brother, hugging him.

'Thank you' He signed as he pulled away.

Dean smiled too.

'No problem, Sammy'

* * *

Sam was very faintly singing the lyrics to Jeremy when Josh tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to him.

"How did you learn the words to the songs?"

'Dean played song again and again in Impala. I felt vibrations, he signed words. So I learnt where beat fit words.'

"Dude, that is so awesome!" Josh exclaimed. "That literally makes you a genius, you know that?"

Sam blushed.

It was then that the band walked out on stage.

Dean quickly tapped his little brother on the shoulder.

Sam whipped round, face a picture of happiness in sheer seconds upon spotting them.

As Eddie Vedder began talking to the crowd, Dean turned to face Sam, standing just to the side of him so that he wasn't blocking his little brother's view of the stage before he began to sign what Vedder was saying. Adding 'And thanks to Sam Winchester for coming out today. You are awesome!' to the end of his signs, Sam immediately burst out into fits of giggles before lightly hitting Dean on the arm.

'Stop it!' He smirked.

As they were laughing, a group of taller guys shuffled past them and stood right in front of Sam.

Dean's expression hardened.

"Hey!"

They turned.

"Move, ass-hats, my brother can't see."

One of the guys began to laugh.

Sam grabbed hold of his brother's coat to try and keep him from doing something stupid. 'Dean, I not need to see, you know that' Sam signed, small and guarded, back half-turned away from the group as he did.

'I not care, you can feel vibrations in car. The point this you see band' Dean stated before sighing and turning back to the group. "Guys, please. It's my brother's first concert and it would really mean a lot to me if you could move somewhere else." He asked, politely. "There's gaps over there, and they're even closer to the front then here. Please."

The tallest guy looked at Sam and then nodded. "Sorry for blocking your view." He apologised to Sam.

Sam didn't reply, offering only the weakest of smiles instead.

The guys walked off and the youngest Winchester's view of the stage was returned once again.

'You not have to do that' Sam signed.

'Course I did, you midget. You not see over them.' Dean teased.

Sam rolled his eyes.

A few seconds later, the music began and the youngest Winchester let out an audible gasp as he felt the bass rumble through the ground below their feet. He focused on it.

'Alive' Dean signed to him.

Sam scoffed. 'I know that' He grinned back, cheekily before beginning to sign along with the lyrics.

Dean smiled. 'Show off'

Sam smirked. 'Shut up and sing along!'


	31. Golden Eyes

**Summary:** Tag to 13x01 - Sam and Jack in the jail cell

* * *

Thrown into the cell, Sam exhaled in annoyance before sitting down on the bench. Jack was then manhandled inside, lain carelessly onto the cold metal opposite before they left, locking the door behind them.

Sam could only wait to know his fate at the hands of the kid. Maybe tasering him wasn't the best idea in the world, but there wasn't much else they could've done on short notice. There was no doubt that 'Jack' was going to be pissed, but Sam hoped that the kid wasn't going to rip his throat out in response.

They didn't know much about him so far, just that he wasn't a baby, as they had expected him to be, and that he had the ability to almost pause his surroundings, him and Dean having been Jack's trial run with that whole bag of worms, before they'd both been promptly thrown into the wall of the bedroom and knocked out.

'Father' had been the first words from Jack's lips, which left Sam hearing the low tones of crackling interference, a mix between the silence of human's and the full spoken word of angels. Sam had been curious during Kelly's pregnancy about what a Nephilim would sound like to him, and now he had his answer. It didn't hurt, like Cas' voice once did before the angel had fixed it, but it was annoying nonetheless. He could learn to ignore it though, it would just take time.

A stirring movement from the kid had Sam pressing himself back against the wall of the cell. A few hints of light interference later and Jack threw himself around, golden eyes locking on the youngest Winchester with an expression of anger.

"Woah, woah, woah! Easy, easy. It okay. Not hurt you."

"You already hurt me."

"I did. Yes. I sorry. I just trying to slow you down." Sam paused, taking a breath. "You alright?"

"I don't..." Jack's eyes lowered before the gold rings disappeared with a blink. "I was scared. And when I get scared, things happen. And... I can't, stop them."

Sam relaxed slightly.

"Why you scared?"

"Because of the voices... They were so... loud, so angry."

Angel radio.

"You hear them now?"

Jack began to rise from the bench. "No."

"Good." Sam nodded. "That good."

The kid walked forward and took a seat on the bench directly in front of Sam. His head titled to the side, just like Cas used to, his lips juttering slightly, as if scared to speak before he finally did.

"Your voice. It's so... so different from the others. So..."

"Weird?" Sam filled in the gap.

"Unique." Jack smiled. "Do all humans have different voices? Or voices like yours?"

"I not know. Maybe. You have to ask Dean about that." Sam replied. "But my voice. My voice 'cause I deaf."

Jack furrowed an eyebrow. "Deaf." He repeated, trying the word out for himself. "That word, what does it mean?"

"It mean I not hear." Sam answered.

Jack still looked confused.

"Hear." Sam sounded before moving a finger to point at his ear. "Sounds."

Jack's eyes widened.

"Not all humans hear things?"

Sam shook his head. "Not all people see, either. Or walk. Or talk."

Jack's expression was that of enthrallment as he moved his legs up to sit cross-legged, hanging onto every word the youngest Winchester was saying.

"So, deaf. That means you can't hear me? Or that man? Or the woman?"

"It complicated. I no hear Dean or the Sheriff, but I sorta' hear you."

Jack's eyes widened. "Really?"

Sam nodded. "I hear angels. When they talk I can hear their words. You, I not hear your words but can know when you speak. It make crackle in my ears."

"So you can hear my Father?!" Jack exclaimed. "Wow!"

Sam winced, the kid noticing this causing his expression of joy to crumble in seconds.

"Did I say something wrong?"

Sam shook his head, desperate to make the kid know that he hadn't upset him.

"No. I just... a lot happened between us."

"So you're not friends?" Jack asked.

"No."

"You looked like friends when I saw you two together when I was my Mother."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"You must be confused, Lucifer..."

Jack smirked.

"Lucifer? Who's that?"

"Your Father."

"No." Jack laughed. "That's not my Father. My Father is Castiel."

Sam's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Yeah. Which is why I'm now confused. You two seemed close."

"We are." Sam's heart ached at the slip. "We were."

"He would talk about you a lot. He cared about you."

"Yeah, he did."

Jack sensed the change in tone.

"I have upset you again. I'm sorry." He sighed. "Could you tell them I'm sorry too. I never meant to hurt anyone, I was just afraid."

"It fine. I just, miss him, that all." Sam replied. "And of course, I will tell them."

Jack's head suddenly whipped to the side.

Sam followed, standing on instinct to see Dean walking towards the cell.

'Dean'

'I amazing'

Sam rolled his eyes.

'What?! I am. I cleared us with Sheriff. We good to go'

'W-T-F. Really? How'

'Gave her talk.'

'She fine?'

'Will be eventually. Come on. We kill him then go home'

Sam turned to Jack, who was stood just to the side of him watching the signs between him and his brother in fascination.

"Jack was telling me how he sorry."

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?"

"How he sorry about accidentally hurting Sheriff."

'What you doing?' Dean signed in slight anger.

'He not evil!'

'He Devil son'

'So'

'What you mean so?'

"What are those?" Jack asked.

"Shut up!" Dean responded.

"D'n." Sam scorned before turning to the kid. "They signs. Remember told you about 'deaf'."

Jack nodded.

Dean scoffed in disbelief, shaking his head.

"We use these to communicate." Sam explained.

"Oh." Jack replied with a nod. "Can I learn?"

Sam smiled. "Sure, I'll teach you."

"Son of a..." Dean muttered under his breath. 'Sam!' He signed, furiously. 'The fuck you doing?!'

'Like I said, not evil'

'I not buy it!'

'I not care!' Sam replied. 'He just kid, Dean'

"Fine, whatever!" Dean exclaimed in exasperation before turning to the door. 'Something happening'

'Go' Sam signed. A few seconds later, he heard the crackling in his ears and turned to Jack to see the end of words on his lips. "You need to get my attention if you need say something or I not hear."

"How should I do that?"

' _Fuck, why is everyone like this._ ' Sam thought with a smile. "Just put your hand on my shoulder, or my wrist if you not reach. Either will do."

Jack nodded. "Okay."

Sam turned to the door to try and see what was going on, but of course, he couldn't. His brain then suddenly clicked that Jack could hear. "For fuck sake, Sam." He muttered under his breath before turning back to Jack. "Jack, what happening?"

"I hear talking."

"Male or female?"

"One's 'Dean', one's female, but I don't recognise her voice." It was then that Jack's head whipped around in reaction to something.

"Keep describing to me." Sam stated.

Jack nodded. "There was just a thud, from behind that door."

Sam pointed to the door at the left-hand side of the corridor. "That one."

"Yes."

The youngest Winchester moved closer to the cell door before a glow of white light appeared and the metal was crushed inwards.

Sam turned towards the door in which his brother had exited before putting a hand to his throat. "D'n!" He shouted as loudly as he could.

Two angels appeared through the doorway dressed in grey.

Sam put out a hand behind him, willing Jack to move away. He briefly turned to check that the kid had moved before backing up himself.

The male angel stopped beside the back wall before his eyes began to glow blue.

Sam furrowed an eyebrow before he dared a glance back at Jack, hearing a continuous crackle in his ears, to find the kid kneeling on the floor, hands tightly pressed to his eyes in an expression of agony.

"Jack, what can you hear?"

But the kid was reaching out for the stone wall of the cell to keep himself upright, clearly in no state to talk.

Turning back to the angels, the woman ripped open the cell before walking inside.

Sam threw a punch at her, knowing it would do little, but there was not much he could do. He and Jack were sitting ducks just waiting to be slaughtered without any weapons.

She retaliated by grabbing him by the collar and turning him to smack back against the metal bars, holding him up off the ground. As her hands went to take hold of his throat, Sam headbutt her, knocking her back before he found himself flung across the cell, smacking into the stone with a grunt.

"Ahhh..." He moaned, the world spinning.

The male angel then joined the party, striking him with a kick in the mouth over and over and over until Sam was lying in a haze of pain on the floor, blood pouring from his lips onto the ground.

The sight of the blood had Sam spurring slowly into action, beginning to draw the sigil. Once complete, he looked up to see Jack between the grasps of the two angels.

"Hey!" He shouted, catching their attention, before slamming his hand down against the blood sigil, banishing them.

Jack collapsed to the floor, golden veins retreated from the kid's neck after a few seconds before the crackling appeared from his groan.

"Jack." Sam called out, weakly.

Jack put a hand to his head before retracting it and crossing the cell to the youngest Winchester, offering a hand to help guide him upright onto the metal bench he was previously occupying.

"Are you okay?" The kid asked, eyes wide in concern as he crouched in front of him.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, just give me a minute."

Jack offered a small smile before crossing the cell. He picked something up before walking back over to Sam and holding it out in offering.

"One of them dropped this."

"It an angel blade." Sam explained. "Nice spot."

Jack nodded. "I can hear fighting. The same two, Dean and the other woman. My friend is hurt, and the Sheriff is scared."

"You can hear all that?"

"It's very loud." Jack looked toward the door. "Should I go help?"

Sam shook his head. "You could get hurt." He looked the kid over. "How are you? You hurt? What they do to you?"

"They made everything scream. Not like the voices, this was different. It just made me head feel like it was going to explode."

"Angels have a way of fucking with everyone, you will learn that." Sam smirked.

A smile perked up at the corner of Jack's mouth. "Father was an angel."

"He was one of the good ones. Very rare." Sam explained.

Jack took a breath. "Could you tell me about him? What he was like?"

Sam smiled. "Sure, Jack. Just, let's get out of here first, okay?"

"Of course."


	32. And In The End

**Summary:** Tag to 5x04 - Cas misses Sam and he's pissed.

* * *

 _'Bzzzzzzzzzzz... Bzzzzzzzzzzz... Bzzzzzzzzzzz...'_

Dean snatched up the phone and hit accept.

"Cas?"

"Dean."

"If this is some phone call to try and make me change my mind, it's not happening, just FYI."

"What? What? I didn't—I didn't get that." Came Cas' reply along with an extremely large amount of background noise.

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"Cas, where the hell are you?"

"Side of a road."

"You know, it's kind of funny. Talking to a messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped."

"This isn't funny, Dean. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes and I can't get a hold of Sam."

"Then use a payphone."

"Dean, this is serious, he's not answering his phone to me and I'm getting worried."

"Don't be, he'll just be sulking someplace." Dean retorted.

"I got a voicemail from him and he sounded, distressed... scared. Have you heard from him?"

"Nope. Not since he took off."

"Something's wrong."

"Something's always wrong, Cas. But Sam's a big boy, and he wants independence, so let's give him it."

"You sound bitter."

Dean ignores the dig. "Sam knows what he wants. He can deal with the consequences."

"He's your brother."

"He kicked me to the curb for a demon."

"You know what..." Cas began angrily, before his voice cut out.

' _Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..._ '

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

Dialing tone.

Clearly Cas' phone had ran out of minutes.

Dean sighed.

"Good talk."

* * *

Later that night, Dean was awoken by the sound of his phone vibrating once again.

"Damn it, Cas, I need to sleep!"

"Dean, it's me, I heard from Sam."

"And?..."

"And, this is important."

Dean sighs but reluctantly does get up out of bed.

* * *

"So Sam's his vessel, huh? Just when he thought he was out, they pulled him back in."

"Is that it? That's your response?" Cas challenged.

"What are you looking for?"

"I don't know. A little panic? Maybe?

"I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point."

"So what are we gonna' do about it?" Cas asked.

"What do you want to do about it?"

"Well, he wants back in, for starters."

"Cas—"

"Look, Sam said it himself, he's sick of being a puppet to the angels and wants to hunt them down."

"Oh, so, we're back to revenge, then, are we? Yeah, 'cause that worked out so well last time."

"Even though he has nothing to prove to you, he'd do it anyway. Sam can do this."

"Cas, it doesn't matter—whatever we do. I mean, Sam and I, we're the fire and the oil of Armageddon." He takes a breath. "I need to talk to him." And with that, he hung up.

' _Cas told me what you found out_ ' He texted.

Almost immediately, Sam replied.

' _I want back in. I can do this, Dean._ '

' _No. There's too much at stake. Like I told Cas, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good._ '

' _Dean, it does not have to be like this. We can fight it._ '

' _Yeah, you're right. We can. But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us—love, family, whatever it is—they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. Yeah, we're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways._ '

A few seconds later, another text appeared.

' _Dean, don't do this._ '

Dean sighed before replying one last time.

' _Bye, Sam._ '

* * *

After Freaky Friday went down with his future self, Dean snuck into the cabin Chuck had pointed him towards. There he found Cas, slumped half against the wall, half lying on the floor with a tourniquet tied tight around his upper arm, various old needles surrounding him. His eyes were closed.

"Cas?"

Dean rushed over and placed a hand to the angel's neck to check for a pulse.

"Cas?!" He shook him.

Cas grumbled before opening his eyes. Scowling, he pushed Dean away.

"Get off me!"

Before Dean could say another word, Cas' eyes widened before pure anger appeared in his expression.

"Where did you come from?"

"What?"

"You...you're not from this time."

"No! Yes, exactly!"

"What year are you from?" Cas got shakily to his feet.

"2009."

"2009." Cas repeated, breathing becoming heavier until he lashed out, slamming a punch across Dean's face, sending him flying to the floor.

"Cas! What the fuck?!"

"You ruined my life!" He shouted.

"Wait? What?"

"After Sam found out he was Lucifer's vessel, he didn't know what to do. All he needed was the support his big brother. But what did you go and do, shove it all back in his face and refused to answer his calls." Cas paused. "I never managed to get back in touch with him after you guys last exchanged texts. Every time I would get close to tracking him down, he'd have already moved on. He spent his life endlessly trying to outrun Lucifer. I would visit motel room after motel room trying to find him, across the entire country."

"He did all that just to end up saying yes?" Dean queried.

The angel took a breath before finding Dean's gaze.

"Do you know how it feels to find your boyfriend's blood all over the walls, or in pools on the floor. Or to find empty pill bottles scattered around?"

Dean looked distraught.

"Sam didn't just say 'yes' to Lucifer, Lucifer tortured him every waking second. He wouldn't let him die, no matter how hard Sam tried, it seemed. And then finally, something must've happened where he couldn't do it anymore, and he caved. Then Lucifer took over his vessel and destroyed the Earth."

The angel moved impossibly close to the hunter.

"So, in short. You ruined my life. You ruined Sam's life. And without a shadow of a doubt, yes, I absolutely, completely and utterly blame you for everything that has happened. I lost Sam because of you, so you can go fuck yourself if you came in here to try and get my help for anything."

Cas stormed out.

* * *

2014!Dean had ordered Cas to drive Dean to the operation spot. The two had spent the entire time sitting in silence. It was only when Cas popped upon a pill bottle and downed some of the meds from it that Dean broke the peace.

"The hell are you doing?" He snatched the bottle and read the label. "Amphetamines?"

"It's the perfect antidote to that absinthe."

"Mmm. Don't get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I'm happy that the stick is out of your ass, but what's going on with the drugs?"

"I don't care anymore."

"Cas..."

"I'm not an angel. I went mortal."

"What do you mean? How?"

"I think it had something to do with my soulmate dying, you know, that little thing. Oh, and then all the other angels left. When they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. And now, you know, I'm practically human. I'm all but useless. But what's the point. Sam's gone... what else is there to live for now?" Cas turned to Dean. "You used to have the same outlook, what happened?"

"I let him down." Dean admitted. "I should have been there for him."

"Yeah." The angel nodded. "You should."

* * *

Upon reaching the old house, 2014!Dean had given his orders before the homemade troops began to lay siege. Cas had snuck off round the side towards the forest, dying for another hit.

It was then that he heard a bush rustling close by.

Eyes locking on the source, Cas raised his gun and slowly approached.

Suddenly a man appeared, trundling through the thick branches, cut up and bruised from head to toe.

Cas gasped.

"Sam?"

Cas dropped the gun and sprinted over to the figure.

The figure stiffened, breathing heavily in fear.

With a smile, Cas began to sign.

'Sam'

The name sign they have created together.

"c...as?" The small, tortured, raw voice sounded foreign to him after so long, but Cas didn't care regardless.

"It's me, Sam." He confirmed with a tearful nod before closing the short distance between them and pulling Sam into the tightest, protective hug.

Sam returned it with equal vigour before beginning to sob painfully.

"It's okay, it's okay." He comforted, hoping that he had just enough grace left for his boyfriend to still hear him inside his head.

The way Sam melted further into him told Cas that it was working.

Cas smiled before beginning to hum the melodies he would always use to comfort Sam all those years ago.

"I'm never going to let anyone hurt you ever again, okay, Sam? I'm here now, and I'm never leaving. We will get through this, just you and me against the world."

"i-I l-u-lu-v you, c-as." Sam spoke up, softly.

"I love you too, Sam."


	33. Scare Away The Dark

**Summary:** Continuation of 'And In The End' - Cas takes care of Sam

* * *

Sam looked broken.

Lying unconscious from exhaustion on Cas' bed, the angel couldn't help but worry about the youngest Winchester's state of mind after being used, and subsequently thrown to the dirt by Lucifer.

There was no a part of his body that wasn't bruised, each a different size, colour, and age.

Cas winced the most at the finger marks which looked almost imprinted on Sam's neck. Whatever had happened, clearly he hadn't been Lucifer's active vessel for a while, instead having been used as a punching bag for the archangel's anger outbursts. Either Lucifer had turned to just picking and choosing his vessel, not caring about wearing out the people he chose, or Sam had nothing left to give.

The latter was Cas' best guess, judging by the state of his boyfriend. It was haunting to see how little life seemed to remain in the too small, skeletal, waxy skinned form that was lying on the bed beside him. He looked nothing like the Sam he had last seen all those years ago.

The smallest amount of colour had returned to Sam's cheeks after putting him under the comforter had restored some heat.

On their way back to camp, Sam had only made it half a mile, at most, before he couldn't go on any further. 2009!Dean had immediately become protective, but Cas' animalistic side had shown itself in true force as he practically growled at the hunter to leave his boyfriend alone, before taking Sam's weight and guiding him as smoothly as possible back to the jeep.

Dean had disappeared not long after that, the angels clearly having decided that he'd seen enough. Now they were once again left with the bad tempered, viciously abrupt model that was the result of the apocalypse.

2014!Dean didn't know Sam was back and Cas was going to keep it like that for as long as he possibly could, hopefully recruiting the help of Chuck for double rations. If not though, Cas knew he could go hungry. Getting Sam back to good health was more important.

Telling Dean was going to be hard. The hunter rarely ever mentioned his younger brother, something that Cas had always found infuriating. He hoped that he and Dean would see eye-to-eye on the treatment of Sam, and his place within the group, but his gut feeling was that such a discussion would not end well, and that the other members of the camp weren't going to be best pleased at the sight of Lucifer's previous vessel, and the man they considered to be the cause of all of this shitstorm.

If Dean did not want Sam in the camp then Cas would pack up and leave too. He knew it was a powerful bargaining chip. Dean was well aware that Cas was the second best fighter, after himself, and a valuable comrade in the fight against the croats, therefore making it a fools decision to send them both away.

Having filled a bowl with water from the lake, Cas took a cloth and gently began to wipe away the dirt from Sam's skin. Upon reaching Sam's face, he noticed the missing hearing aids. Batteries were in scarce supply these days, but they couldn't at least tried to look for some. Cas made a mental note to look out for stores, or even bodies, if he had to, carrying them, so that Sam would be able to hear just that little bit more.

Light whimpers escaped from Sam's lips before the younger man began to thrash and cry out in broken English.

Cas placed his palm flat against the side of Sam's forehead before closing his eyes.

Focusing the small amount of grace that permanently remained within him, Cas used the calming burst to bring Sam back to the light, guiding the youngest Winchester to him.

A light gasp escaped Sam's lips before his eyes flickered open.

Cas offered a soft smile as he gently stroked the side of Sam's face with his thumb.

"Hello, Sam."

A frail hand rose to gently take hold of Cas' before he was pulled down onto the mattress next to the youngest Winchester.

Cas held an arm out, inviting Sam to snuggle close, which he did, before wrapping it around his boyfriend in a tight, reassuring embrace.

Sam rested his head against Cas' chest, smiling as he did so.

'Where?'

'Camp C-H-I-T-A-Q-U-A' Cas signed. "Or..." The ex-angel signed 'camp' followed by 'crap'.

Sam laughed.

"I made that out of habit when we first arrived here."

The youngest Winchester's expression saddened.

'You kept signing, even though...'

"Of course I did." Cas nodded with a smile smile. "Signing reminded me of you, so I never wanted to forget."

'I glad you here, Cas'

Cas pulled Sam even closer, pressing a kiss to the crown of his forehead.

"There is nowhere I would rather be than right here next to you."


	34. And He's Drowning

**Summary:** Tag to 4x22 - Lucifer Rising - Bobby loves his boys equally, but he's always been protective of Sam

 **One-Shot: This story is separate to the rest of the verse.**

* * *

"Dean! Were you listening to a damn word I said?"

Dean turned around from the window.

"Yeah, I heard you. I'm not calling him."

"Don't make me get my gun, boy..."

"We are damn near the kickoff for Armageddon, don't you think we got bigger fish at the moment?"

"I know you're pissed. And I'm not making apologies for what he's done, but he's your..."

"Blood?" Dean piped in. "He's my blood, is that what you were gonna' say?"

Bobby sighed.

"He's your brother. And he's drowning."

"Bobby, I tried to help him, I did. Look what happened."

"So try again."

"It's too late."

Bobby furrowed an eyebrow.

"There's no such thing."

"No, damnit! No. I gotta face the facts. Sam never wanted part of this family. He hated this life growing up. Ran away to Stanford first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again."

Dean took a seat.

"Well, I am sick and tired of chasing him. Screw him, he can do what he wants."

Bobby couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You don't mean that..."

"Yes I do, Bobby. Sam's gone. He's gone." Dean paused. "I'm not even sure if he's still my brother anymore... If he ever was."

Fuming in rage, Bobby turned to his desk and swiped the contents of books and papers to the floor in one swing.

Dean stood up as the older man walked back over.

"You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" Bobby shouted.

"I told him, 'you walk out that door, don't come back' and he walked out anyway! That was his choice!" Dean defended.

"You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your dad. Well, let me tell you something. Your dad was a coward."

Dean scoffed.

"My Bobby may have been many things, Bobby, but a coward?"

"He'd rather push Sam away than reach out to him. Well, that don't strike me as brave. Neither does, refusing to register Sam at a deaf school to help him learn better, and then complaining and shouting at him for not being able to do research or call out on hunts. The guy used to threaten to send the kid away to a deaf school when he wanted him to fall in line, and then shut him down point blank when Sam asked to go when he was older."

Dean, who looked calmer now, sighed.

"Bobby..."

"The kid had no communication in school at all. Couldn't write until he was eight, couldn't read lips until he was eleven, couldn't talk until was fourteen." He shook his head. "Could you imagine what it was like for him at school being the only one who couldn't hear and talk?"

"I was there too! I know what happened!" Dean shouted.

"Can you remember what you did?"

The eldest Winchester furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Can you remember what you did to help him? Cause' I can." Bobby took a seat on the edge of his desk. "You were the one who taught him how to read." He paused. "By time he started school, he was at a reading level beyond the other kids because you'd spent practically every waking hour with him in those motels patiently signing to him each word on the page and getting him to sign them back. When the two of you arrived at my house a few weeks later, I was amazed. The kid had barely stepped foot inside before he was off into the library, grabbing a book he wanted to read. I found him sat cross-legged on the floor reading to himself quite happily. When I asked him to read to me, he signed the entire book from the pages, and he'd never seen the thing before."

Dean was silent.

"I also remember catching you stealing that time when you were both staying at mine."

"Yeah, I remember." Dean took a seat, tone that of embarrassment as he failed to meet the older man's gaze.

"I shouted at you for doing it, but you didn't seem to care, which only pissed me off more. Scared that I was really going to lose my temper, I stepped out of the store. When I was waiting outside, Sam came and joined me, looking sheepish. He did your name sign followed by 'trouble' with a genuinely worried expression to match. Lost most of my anger there and then, then lost the rest of it when you came out shoving thirty cents into the pocket of your jacket. I knew you were still hiding something under there but I was too disappointed to bring it up again." Bobby paused. "You wouldn't speak to me the entire way back, I didn't say anything to you, Sam just looked miserable in the backseat. I started making dinner as soon as we got back. I tried calling for you but you were in your room with the door closed. Went into the living room to get Sammy and he was working on a workbook, just magically like the ones in the store we'd just been to." He took a breath. "Found the receipt with it too. Turns out you'd spent the absolute last of your own money buying it for him, when if you'd told me, I could have bought the damn thing."

"You shouldn't have had to, he's my brother." Dean stated, softly.

Bobby smiled internally at the 'my brother' admission but kept his poker face.

"You're too proud for your own good sometimes, boy."

The eldest Winchester shrugged.

"Sam needed it, and you already thought I was some pathetic, failure anyway, so what was there to lose?"

"Dean..." Bobby began. "You really think that?"

"Sam's your favourite, I know, I get it. Sam was everyone's favourite, always has been. He was the cute one, I was just the fucked up, stupid, older brother who people could take their anger out on, and generally call a disappointment!"

"You're not a disappointment, Dean, and you never have been. And you know I've told you that a thousand times."

Dean stayed quiet, gaze once again lowered.

"Disappointments don't prioritize their little brother's homework, tests, and assignments, for one. When those assholes would just shove them at the kid like it wasn't their problem how he was gonna' do em, you would always pick up the slack and help him out." Bobby paused. "How many hand-ins did you miss because of prioritizing Sam's work instead? Because every time I saw you, you were writing out what Sam was signing to ya' ready for him to take in the next day."

"What's all that got to do with anything?!"

"Well for one, I don't want you putting yourself down, not in my house, and not ever, for that matter." Bobby closed the gap between himself as his surrogate son. "My point is, Dean, you're a better man than your Daddy ever was."

Dean scoffs quietly, unbelieving of Bobby's words.

"Look at me." The older man asked, softly.

The eldest Winchester's eyes rose to meet Bobby's.

"You better than this, Dean. Your heart's in the right place. So I'm asking you, please, don't be your Dad." He paused. "Don't be him."

Dean took a breath before nodding.

Bobby smiled.

"Come here."

He pulled the kid into a hug before offering him a pat on the back as he they pulled away.

"Now, go find your brother, you idjit."


	35. Alone

**Summary:** Sam meets a reaper

* * *

Sam gasped, opening his eyes to find himself in the bathroom of the motel room, looking down at...

Himself.

"Hello, Sam."

The youngest Winchester turned to see a women stood across from him, dressed in black. He began to slowly back away until he hit the far wall.

"Who are you?"

"The name's Billie."

"What are you doing here? What happening?"

"You know what's happening. You did something stupid and these are the consequences."

"What are you?"

"I'm a reaper."

Sam's eyes widened.

"I read about your kind in Dad's journal. You..."

"Maintain the natural order."

Sam scowled.

"You can look at me like that all you want, this was your doing."

He turned to look at the frozen scene.

"I hit pause, it was getting boring." Billie walked forward. "So, what brings you to my realm, Sam Winchester?"

Sam didn't reply.

"Okay, let me answer that for you then. You have been in that motel room for three weeks, and you can't get hold of your Dad, or your brother, or your Uncle, or anyone for that matter. They all went hunting together and now they seem to have dropped off the face of the earth." She paused. "You think they're dead."

Sam is nearly in tears.

"So you don't want to be alive. Not that you wanted to be anyway."

"I sick of being left. Abandoned. Treated like trash. And money ran out five days ago."

"Act like this was spur of the moment all you want, we both know you've been waiting for an excuse for a _long_ time."

"Not excuse."

Billie scoffed.

"Sure, keep lying to yourself, see where that gets you... Not where you want to be, that's for certain."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Sorry, Sam. It's not written for you to die today, or any day close. You and your brother, your destiny, all that is yet to come."

"Why you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you, that's the point. This, was all you. I'm just doing my job."

"So what now?"

"Now, you go back, wounds and all."

Sam glanced at the frozen scene of himself propped up by the stand of the sink on the floor once again.

"But know this, Sam Winchester." Billie began. "Every time you do something like this, I'll be there to throw you right back, because there's no such thing as fate, only us. We choose when you stay and when you go, not you. So learn from those scars and hopefully I won't have to make another visit, because next time, I might not be so forgiving about saving you a trip to the ER."

Billie walked forward, closing the gap between herself and the youngest Winchester.

"Goodbye, Sam."

She placed a finger to his forehead and suddenly...

He was back in the motel room. Not in the bathroom anymore, but instead on one of the beds.

"Sammy!" A voice shouted.

Sam struggled to lift his head, but caught sight of a golden pendant hanging from a black leather cord and knew immediately who it was.

"D'n."

It was then that he broke down crying, falling forwards, regardless of the pain in his wrists, to rest his head against his brother's shoulder, sobbing harshly into it.

'Hey, hey' Dean signed, carefully trying not to jar Sam as he did so. 'It okay, it okay. I here. I here now, Sammy'

"Where you been?" Sam asked, weakly.

'Not here where I should have been. I so sorry, Sammy.'

"Where's D'd?"

'Getting pain meds'

"Is he mad?"

Dean moved Sam away from him so that he could meet the younger boy's gaze.

"Of course he's not, Sammy, he's terrified. We came into the motel room to find you lying in here with blood pouring from your wrists, and passed out. It took me five minutes to even wake you."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologising."

"Sorry."

Dean smirked at that before his expression dropped and he pulled his little brother briefly close to press a kiss to the crown of his head.

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that…"

"You gone soft?"

"You scared me."

"Not mean to."

"So what did you mean to do?" Dean asked. "The two results in this scenario are me finding you nearly dead, or me finding you dead."

"I not want to be alone, and you keep leaving me alone. I don't like it… it scares me."

Dean could see just how much it pained his little brother to admit that and nearly teared up.

"Sammy…"

"I would choose hunting over being here alone every time, but not get option. I just left here with no one to talk to, nothing to read, nothing to do." Sam stated. "And then you always late so never have money left."

Dean looked concerned in an instant.

"Wait… when did the money run out?"

"Start of the week."

Dean counted in his head.

"Five days?!"

Sam nodded.

"What have you been eating?"

"I been drinking water from the faucet."

Dean looked ill.

"D'n, not your fault."

"It doesn't matter! You shouldn't have to go without food for five days, that's…"

"Normally what you have to do when Dad late."

Dean looked embarrassed.

"I always made sure you were fed, I did my best to…"

"D'n… I not say you didn't. I just say that it not fair. And I know that you gone hungry more than once."

Dean was silent for a few minutes, maintaining a strong, protective hold on his little brother, before he spoke up.

"Sammy." He took a breath. "You need to talk to me, okay? I can try and help, or if it comes to it, I can even try to earn some extra money to get you some sessions with a therapist."

Sam sighed. "Dean, we not afford that. And you should not have to spend your money on that." The youngest Winchester's eyes were wet with pricks of tears.

"Sammy, I would do anything for you… Anything. And I'm sorry that I didn't know you were hurting. You shouldn't have to tell me, and you shouldn't have to do something like this before I notice, I should have noticed anyway, and that's on me."

"No that's on me."

Dean turned to Dad, who was now stood in the doorway of the motel.

Sam followed his brother's gaze, wincing in anticipation of the anger storm that was to follow, regardless of what Dean said about Dad being scared not annoyed.

"Sammy, that's on me." He repeated. "And I'm so sorry, Tiger."

Dad walked into the room, closing the door behind him before walking over to the bed.

"Peace offering."

He placed a box of pain meds, two books, and a bar of chocolate down on the bed between Sam and Dean.

Sam's eyes lit up as a smile came to his face.

"Thank you."

John rested a hand softly on his little boy's cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

"Tell us next time, okay? We can help."

Sam nodded.

"Sorry."

"No apologies either, it ain't your fault, bud."

"That's what I said." Dean added. "You wanna watch some TV? I'll even watch one of those nerdy documentaries you geek over."

Sam smirked.

"You hate documentaries, and subtitles."

Dean smirked.

"I'm not smart enough to be able to block out the words at the bottom, that doesn't mean I hate them. Plus you're worth it I suppose."

Sam fawned offence before smiling.

"Help?"

Dean nodded, standing up from the bed and walking round to the other side. He then sat back against the headboard before gently moving Sam to rest against his side.

'Comfy?'

Sam nodded.

Dean grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV. Cartoons came onto the screen. The oldest Winchester went to change it.

"I love Looney Tunes." Sam smiled. "You can leave these on."

Dean nodded.

John walked over with a glass of water and two popped pills.

"Pills first, then chocolate." He smiled.

Dean helped Sam take the pills before wrapping an arm gently around him.

"I never want to lose you, Sammy." Dean spoke up, softly.

Sam smiled, tucking in closer to his big brother.

"Jerk."

Dean smirked.

"Bitch."


	36. Baby

**Summary:** Tag to 11x04 - Sam hooks up in the back of the Impala

 **Notes:** The r word is used in this story once, but the guy who uses it gets his comeuppance, don't worry.

* * *

Somewhere along the line, research turned into getting propositioned by a cute guy.

Taking the guy's hand, Sam led him out to the Impala, grabbing a blanket from the trunk and laying it down across the back seat before climbing in.

Pulling each other's clothes off and dumping them into the footwell, the guy admired Sam.

"You're gorgeous." Hand trailing down the youngest Winchester's chest before they began to kiss, falling flat against the seat.

* * *

The next morning, Sam was awoken by the vibration of the Impala door opening and closing.

It was Dean.

The guy he'd hooked up with, Rhys, sat upright and leant on the back of the bench.

"Who are you?" Sam, just about managed to read from the guy's lips.

Dean jumped, turning to the back.

"Woah. Sorry Sam, didn't realise you had company."

Sam was thankful that the blanket had vaguely become wrapped around his lower half through the night.

"D'n, you give us a minute?"

Dean nodded.

"Sure, I'll just be somewhere that's not here."

And with that, Dean left.

Sam laughed to himself before turning to the guy.

"Sorry 'bout that."

The guy looked freaked.

"Are you some kind of retard?"

Sam's expression is that of shock.

"What?"

"Why did you sleep with me?"

"Because we flirted with each other and hit it off."

"But you didn't tell me you were..."

Sam bites his tongue.

"That I what?... Deaf!"

"Warn a guy next time, freak..."

Sam, who's shaking in both rage and sadness, pushes open the back door of the Impala and shoves the guy out before clicking the locks down on all four doors.

"Hey! Hey!"

The guy, who was now stood, naked as the day as he was born in the parking lot, wrapped on the door.

"Fuck off!" Sam screamed, grabbing the guy's stuff and throwing it out the window before winding it back up.

The guy grabbed it before sticking his middle finger up and walking off.

* * *

When Dean returned ten minutes later with an expression of pure pride, Sam was dressed and sat in the front seat. Dean smiled as he climbed in next to his brother.

'Did you hook up in here last night?'

Sam nodded.

'Who was lucky guy or gal?'

'I not want talk about it, Dean. Can we just go?'

Dean immediately became worried. 'You okay, Sammy?'

'I fine.'

* * *

"Do we have to stop?" Sam whined as they pulled into the complex, consisting of a ga station, motel, and bar.

"We need gas, and you need some food, you haven't eaten anything for hours."

"I fine."

"No, you say you're fine but you know what the doctor said."

"Oh my god, D'n, will you drop it?!"

"No because it's serious. Orthorexia Nervosa is serious."

"Big word." Sam mocked.

"Shut the fuck up, Sam. Don't be a dick."

"Sorry." The youngest Winchester apologised. "I not mean that."

"It's okay." Dean forgave.

"I not have an eating disorder, D'n."

"And I'm totally inclined to believe you, but so far I've seen nothing but evidence that you do, Sammy."

"Why you doing this?! Right now of all time?!"

Sam looked about ready to burst into tears.

Dean parked up, switching the engine off before turning to his brother.

"Sammy, you need to talk to me, please, what's going on?"

"Nothing, I fine."

"Sammy..." Dean began softly.

"I fine." Sam opened the door and climbed out. "I want a drink."

* * *

Sat at the bar, Dean turned to Sam.

"Don't think this gets you out of eating."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Or telling me what's bothering you."

"Nothing wrong."

"Oh sure, you reek of happiness and contentment right now."

"I allowed bad days, D'n."

"Of course you are, but I know exactly what they look like on you, and this isn't it. It's something else."

"Will you drop it?"

"No, because you're upset."

Sam took a drink before his eyes widened in horror.

Across the bar, was the guy he'd hooked up with. Sam immediately tried to avoid his gaze, looking uncomfortable and awkward as he did so.

After a few seconds of brother watching, Dean began to notice that something was up.

"Sammy, you're refusing to even look in that direction. Is that guy over there the one you hooked up with?"

Sam nodded sheepishly.

"What did he do?"

Sam sighed.

* * *

"I'm gonna' kill him!" Dean shook with rage after Sam had detailed the events of that morning. "No, better question, why didn't you beat the crap out of him, you were perfectly capable, and the fucker deserves it!"

The eldest Winchester turned expecting to see shared anger, but all he saw was sadness.

"Sammy... please don't listen to that idiot. He was hardly your first, and he's certainly not anything special. He's just a douche that doesn't deserve you."

"That better not be me you're talking about." The guy walked over.

"I've been hearing some lovely things about you." Dean stated, sternly, placing a hand reassuringly on his brother's shoulder.

"Well the freak lied to me, what was I supposed to have..."

His sentence was cut off as Dean grabbed him by the collar and slammed him back against the bar.

"You shut the fuck up!"

The guy laughed.

"Aww, defending your brother's honour, how cute. Are you sure you're not the one fucking him, you make a cute couple. Two freaks together making..."

The guy was cut off once again as Sam began to deliver consecutive heavy punches across the guy's face in desperate rage.

"Sammy! Sammy!" Dean pointlessly shouted before pulling him away from the guy.

Sam fought back to try and re-engage, but Dean didn't let him.

'Sammy, stop'

'Hear what he said about you?!'

'Yes. But not worth it. He not worth it'

Dean placed a hand comfortingly between his brother's shoulder blades, guiding him out of the bar.

'Come on'

* * *

Sat in the first diner of the next state over, Sam looked miserable. He was still shaking, and despite Dean's best efforts, there were still spots of blood on his knuckles.

Dean returned to the table a few seconds later with a cheeseburger, a salad, and a completely plain hamburger. He placed it down between them.

'Here deal. You can eat this'

He pointed to the salad.

'If you eat half of this, okay?'

He took the hamburger and placed it in front of Sam.

Sam moaned.

'You need calories, and they not in that salad'

Sam looked terrified of the thing.

'It totally plain, just meat and bread. You can do this, Sammy'

Sam picked up the burger slowly before taking a small bite.

Dean smiled.

'That my boy'

'I 32, you should not have to do this' Sam signed, cheeks red in embarrassment.

'Hey...'

The youngest Winchester found his brother's gaze.

'It not your fault, okay? It an illness, it happens. But we can work on it, together, okay?' Dean reassured. 'So I not want to hear you putting self down'

Sam smiled.

'Thanks for always looking out for me, Dean'

Dean smiled too.

'No problem, Sammy. That what I here for'


	37. Lights

**Summary:** John takes Sam and Dean to a museum.

* * *

They'd been in town for just over a week now, and the boys were climbing the walls. It wouldn't take a genius to see that Dean was bored out of his brains by the lack of anything in the motel room, and Sam had became clingy. His youngest would often get scared and anxious in quiet places due to the lack of vibrations.

John supposed it was the same concept as a guy from the city moving to the wide open. There are sounds you get used to, and sounds you find you can't live without.

The woman at the hospital had told him that Sammy needed consistency to help him adapt and learn, so maybe some population of 425 town wasn't the best choice on his part.

He had however managed to find them something to do.

"A museum..." Dean's voice said dryly.

"Cheer up, you haven't even been inside yet, it could be good." John tried to reassure.

"But this town is boring... their museum's just gonna' be too."

"You're not the only one we're going for, kiddo." Adjusting Sam in his hold, he took Dean's hand and led him through the front doors.

Dean's jaw dropped as he came face to face with a giant dinosaur skeleton.

"Woah!" He let go of John's hand and rushed over to it.

John smirked before walking over to one of the volunteers.

"Can I help you?" The woman asked.

"Yes, umm, which floor is the exhibition on?" Sam began to wriggle in his arms as he asked.

"It's just over there." She pointed across the entranceway to a open set of doors on the right.

"Great, thank you." John nodded before walking over to Dean. He lifted Sam down to the floor.

Dean continued to read the information board in front of the dinosaur before turning to his little brother.

Who wasn't there.

Dean then looked up at John who pointed with a smirk to the small child wandering over to doorway disco ball colour dots were spilling from.

John's couldn't help but smile as he heard a light gasp from his youngest's lips at the sight of the sensory room.

Fairy lights of all colours were strung around the space, twinkling, flashing, and slowly changing, while piles of them also lay on the floor. Vibrations could be felt underfoot getting faster and slower every few seconds. Moons and stars shone onto the ceiling from a projector. Any spare space on the floor had been covered in things to touch of all different textures and scents, as well shiny beads and jewels to play with. Bubbles were also floating around from a bubble machine in the corner.

Sam was in the middle of it all, mouth wide in enchantment.

John reached a hand down and rested it gently on Dean's shoulder. He offered a smile as his oldest looked up.

"I see he found it."

Sam's hands ran through strings of lights before he saw the shadows of his own hands on the wall. Amazed, he placed them in front of the torch and watched as the shadows appeared causing the young boy to giggle.

"d!" A small voice called.

"You're wanted, Tiger."

Dean walked over to Sam and immediately felt his little brother's hand gently take his own before he was pulled to sit down. Sam then noticed the tent and crawled inside, guiding his big brother inside too before crawling into Dean's lap, and leaning back against his chest.

The youngest Winchester giggled to himself as he happily popped bubbles before finding a flashing bouncy ball inside the tent and rolling it from hand to hand, making the colours change as he did so.

"d." Sam pointed to the stars and moon projected on the ceiling.

'Star'

Sam wasn't interested in signs right now though, not when literally everything else in the room was taking up his attention. The inside lining of the tent had been decorated with feathers, pieces of cloth, beads, fabrics of various textures, sequins, plastic, and wool, all sewn carefully to the material. Sam ran his hand across every section, the beads proving to be his favourite.

After just over an hour had past, John popped his head into the tent. 'Sammy, we need to go now.'

Sam began to kick a fuss, eyes filling with tears.

John lifted him up into his arms.

'We can come back. Okay?'

The volunteer turned to them.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but this exhibition closes today."

Dean looked as heartbroken as John.

"Why would you close it, it's amazing for kids like Sammy?" John asked.

"An artist made it but it's only for a limited run, I'm afraid." The woman paused. "She's here today, I can go and grab him for you to talk to. Hold on one sec."

Before John could say anything, she was gone.

Returning less than a minute later was the staff member and a small, brunette. She smiled upon sight of the young boy.

"Deaf?"

John nodded.

'Hello'

Sam became nervous, burying close to John's neck.

'Sammy, you big boy now'

The little boy moved away ever so slightly.

'Hello'

'Name you what?'

'S-A-M'

'Nice meet you, S-A-M. Name me C-A-R-A' She smiled. 'You like?'

Sam nodded. 'Light. Soft. Star'

'You like stars?'

'Yes'

'Well then, I have present for you, S-A-M'

The artist walked into the room and unplugged the projector.

'Yours'

"You sure about that?" John asked.

She nodded. "Of course. I'm just glad to see my exhibition mean so much to someone."

'What you say, Sammy?'

'Thank you'

'You welcome, S-A-M'

The artist handed the projector to Dean, as John had his arms full of Sam before waving them off.

* * *

Later that night in the motel room, the projector was plugged in and casting he solar system onto the ceiling and walls, rotating slowly.

Sam was beside himself in intrigue, reaching up as he stood on the mattress to try and touch them. They even managed to get him to sleep in record time as the soothing shapes settled him down.

Looking over at the bed, John smiled at the sight of his boys, asleep happily in each other's arms, before clicking the projector off.

* * *

Lounging on the bonnet of the Impala, Sam smiled.

"Star challenge?" He asked.

Dean walked over with two beers, handing one of them to his brother before climbing up next to him.

"No because you always win, and you know you do."

Sam smirked.

"Here." Dean briefly took the bottle back to pull off the cap before passing it over.

"Thanks." Sam took a drink.

"Remember your old projector?"

"Dude!" Sam exclaimed. "I loved that thing SO much, you no idea!"

"Sam, you had that thing on every night for what felt like a million years, I had an idea."

The youngest Winchester's face fell slightly.

"Wait, you not like it?"

"I liked it at first, then it got annoying. Dad later found a switch that made it more advance though, so when you learnt to read, he changed it to the detailed solar system with names and everything, or the constellations one. Then Mr. Brainbox here remember every single one of them, which is why you always win at Star Challenge."

"Jess beat me at Star Challenge once." Sam admitted, softly.

"Really?"

He nodded.

"I not find Ophiuchus, so I lost."

"Bet she held that over you forever."

"Yeah." He smirked before sighing. "I like to think she up there, as her own star now."

"I'm sure she is, Sammy. She'll be looking down on you. So will Mom."

"You think so?"

Dean nodded. "Of course."

"Thanks, D'n."

Sam closed the gap between himself and Dean, resting against his brother's side as he looked up at the stars.

Dean smiled.


	38. Sacrifice

**"I Wish I Was A Sacrifice But Somehow Still Lived On" – Pearl Jam**

* * *

Cas was in the process of lighting the various candles that decorated the walls of the old chapel when Sam came to. The wax dripped down onto antique brass holders as he groaned, head throbbing from the punch the angel had delivered. Looking around, tapestries depicting ancient heavenly battles and angels hung down from the ceiling on gold hooks covering centuries old sandy coloured stone walls.

Sam furrowed an eyebrow as he noticed something lying on the floor beside the altar before realisation kicked in.

It was the Pastor.

Blood dropping from his know slit throat, a pool had amassed under him.

"Cas?" Sam tried to sit up but the ropes binding his hand together behind his back made it difficult to try. Leaning back against the wall, he used it to support himself, slithering up the cool stone into a near sitting position.

Cas' lips began to move, but with the angel having his back to him, Sam couldn't make out what he was saying.

The youngest Winchester furrowed an eyebrow.

Cas turned to look at him, his expression of annoyance.

"It's rude to ignore people, Samuel."

"Samuel? What..." Sam's confusion turned to understanding. "What you done to him?"

Whatever had taken over Cas smirked before he turned to light the final candle, shaking the match to extinguish the flame.

"Oh, I'm just borrowing him."

"So he in there with you?"

"Put up one hell of a fight. The little guy's still sleeping it off, but no, he's not dead... Not yet anyway."

"What are you?"

Cas walked towards Sam with a smirk. "My, my you ask a lot of questions." Grabbing him, Cas roughly twisted Sam's arm before producing his angel blade from the sleeve of his trenchcoat and placing it to the youngest Winchester's neck.

"Try anything, and I'll drive this straight through your friend's heart, got it?"

Sam, tensed against the blade at his throat, nodded slowly.

"Good."

Cas pulled him to his feet before forcing him to walk ahead down the center aisle of the chapel until they reached an altar at the far side. Kicking aside the body of the Pastor with little consideration, the possessed angel shoved Sam down on the marble.

Sam moaned as his back smacked against the hard surface, his hands taking the brunt of the impact before a sickening crack could be heard and the youngest Winchester gasped in pain from his now broken wrist.

Producing a leather strap, Cas secured Sam down onto the altar before untying his wrists and dragging them across to each of the iron shackles bolted to the edge of the marble slab.

Looking up at the roof of the chapel, Sam squinted as the sunlight shone down through a stained glass window. "Cas...Cas...if you hear me wake up. You strong. Fight this, please, wake up!"

"Cas can't come to the phone right now." The possessed angel smirked before ripping open Sam's plaid shirt, sending the buttons scattering across the stone floor.

"You will make him blush." Sam joked.

The possessed angel rolled his eyes, ripping the material of the grey shirt underneath as he did so, annoyed by the arrogance of the youngest Winchester's tone towards him.

"You know, people used to willingly sacrifice themselves for me back in the good old days. They would come from miles around just to get a chance to be the sacrifice for their mighty Baʿalah."

"Times changed." Sam stated.

"You think I don't know that?!" The possessed angel bellowed. "I have been living in squalor, scavenging to stay alive. People just don't have the same level of belief in God's anymore. So I thought to myself, if they weren't going to sacrifice themselves to me, I'd do it for them."

"So the deaths, they all you?" Sam asked. "How many people you killed to save own ass?"

"Frankly not enough." Cas stated. "You filthy creatures walk around on this planet like you own the place, like you're all deservant of some kind of throne. You people love yourselves more than you would ever love a God. It's sick! At least my people used to know the pecking order!" He paused. "But I'm going to change that. By time I'm through with this planet, the people on it will be begging to sacrifice themselves to me once again." Closing his eyes, Cas began to speak once again, this time in a language that Sam couldn't make out from his lips.

Taking the angel blade, the possessed angel positioned it over Sam's heart before beginning to carve through the skin, running the blade along his breastbone.

Sam cried out as he felt the sharp sting of the blade ripping apart his chest, his eyes watering from the pain as grey began to cloud his vision. He struggled to hold onto consciousness as Cas continued to draw what Sam could only guess was some ancient sacrificial symbol. He could feel the blade dancing on his chest as he carved and carved. A steady stream of blood ran from his stomach, down the side of his legs to gather on the stone altar.

His eyes flickered as he struggled to keep them open through the burning sensation in his chest. "Cas..." His weak, pained tone called out in almost a whisper before he whimpered, bucking slightly on the stone altar as he cried out, shaking, fingernails digging into the stone of the altar leaving them bloody and chipped. Tears streamed down his cheeks as the pain roared through him.

Collapsing down onto the stone, energy spent, body failing, his head rolled to the side, cheek coming to rest against the marble, leaching the chill from it. The world shook and darkened before his eyes closed, a single tear trickling down his cheek.

Sam gasped, coughing, spluttering, forcing his eyes open just an inch as he sought out Cas through the haze.

"C's... please..."

And then...

 **Nothing.**

.

.

.

But it was enough.

"Noooooooooooooo!" Screamed Cas as he finally broke through of the God's prison, taking control of his body once again.

Falling to his knees, breathing heavy from exertion, he took a few breaths before grabbing hold of the edge of the altar and hauling himself up to his feet.

Cas' gasped in shock at the sight of the youngest Winchester.

"Sam... No..."

The doors of the chapel slammed open.

"Sam!" A familiar voice screamed, the sound echoing through the hallow hall before frantic, hasteful footsteps approached.

Dean rushed to his little brother's side as his eyes too found the sight of a brutal attack.

"No... no, no, no, no, no..." He muttered, two fingers to his brother's neck, struggling to find a pulse. "Sammy, no..."

Dean turned to the angel.

"Cas, you have to do something." He begged. "Use your powers, do anything, just fix him!" Dean shrugged out of his jacket and through it to the floor before taking off his outer shirt and ripping to up into strips to wrap the wounds. As he reached the deepest on Sam's breastbone, he looked back.

"Cas!"

Cas broke free from the shock at Dean's scream, closing the distance between himself and the altar. As he began tending to the wounds, he encountered his next problem. "Oh Sam...I'm so sorry"

Dean looked over at the angel, furrowing a fearful eyebrow as he did so. "Cas what's wrong?!"

"She was a God, but because of her lack of followers, she grew weaker and weaker through the years until she was practically human. By possessing me, she hijacked my powers and used them to harm your brother." He explained. "The wounds are deep, Dean." He stated softly, lowering his head as he clenched his fist in anger. "Damn it..." He began. "You remove the incantation now!"

"Cas who are you talking to? She who? What's going on?" Dean questioned. "We don't have time for this!"

"Why would I do anything for you...angels? Children of that big God man...the man really knew how to blow his own trumpet didn't he. Some of us God's were a little more tasteful in the way sold the image of ourselves."

"Remove it, or I will kill you." Cas threatened.

"That would be a neat trick." She smirked.

"Don't underestimate me!" The angel took a deep breath before closing his eyes

"How are you doing that?" She asked in a panicked tone.

"You are weak! I could end existence in seconds if I wanted to." Cas stated sternly. "Now you either remove your incantation from my friend, or you can say goodbye to your existence!"

"Fine, I'll remove it, but you have to promise me that I will be freed once it is done. No harm will come to me."

"Deal."

There was a pause. "There, it's done."

"Great." Cas stated. "Goodbye."

"No!" She screamed. "No you promised!"

And then she was gone.

Cas opened his eyes before sprinting over to the edge of the chapel. "Dean, extinguish the candles, quickly!"

It took all of a few seconds before the chapel was shrouded in darkness, the only light shining down on Sam from the stained glass window on the ceiling.

Making his way over to the altar, Cas gently placed his hand on Sam's chest.

"I won't be able to stop his pain, my grace is low from the god, but I can repair the internal damage and heal his wounds."

"Do it." Dean nodded, walking close and taking hold of his little brother's hand, giving it a soft, reassuring squeeze.

Cas closed his eyes once again.

A few seconds later, Sam startled awake, eyes wide in panic.

'Easy, Tiger... Sammy' Dean signed. 'Easy'

Sam's eyes finally calmed to see Dean.

"D'n?"

"Yeah, it's me, buddy." Dean smiled, kneeling down beside the altar. "Me and Cas are gonna' get your out of here, okay?"

Sam nodded.

"That's my boy."

They set about removing the bindings before Dean walked back round to his little brother, placing a hand gently on his cheek. "You got yourself into one fine mess here, Sammy." He smirked.

Sam smirked too. "Sorry."

"I'll think I'll let you off, I mean, she was a God."

"Yeah, and psychotic." He paused. "What happen to her?"

"She's gone." Cas answered. "For good."

"Help me?"

Dean wrapped an arm around his little brother as he helped him up so that his legs were on the side of the altar and he was sitting upright.

Sam groaned from the movement.

"You good?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, just tired that all."

Cas walked over. "Sam...I'm sorry for what happened."

"It not your fault, Cas." The youngest Winchester reassured. "You possessed."

"But I should have been stronger. I should have been able to stop her before she hurt you."

"Cas, you managed to break free and save my ass... that good enough for me." Sam smiled.

Cas smiled too.

Dean clapped a hand on Cas' back. "Plus you sent that douchebag Goddess chick heading for the hills by the sounds of what you were saying."

"She won't be bothering you again."

"Good." Dean nodded. "Then let's blow this joint." He turned to the angel. "Cas?"

"Of course." Cas placed a hand on each of the brothers' shoulders and with that...

They were gone.


	39. Your Choice

Sam groaned as he found himself coming to. As his eyes flickered open slightly he began to make out Dean crouched down in front of him.

'Sam? Sam?'

He groaned once again, putting a hand up to his forehead, his fingers coming away bloody.

"W't happened?"

'Jack did number on you'

"He not mean it."

'Shut up, Sam'

Sam furrowed an eyebrow, taking the hand his brother was holding out before being pulled to his feet from the pile of hardcovers and broken bookcase he was lying amongst.

"D'n..."

"No."

"He not..."

Dean shook his head. "No! We're not having this conversation. He could have fucking killed you!"

"D'n..."

"Sam, we'll take about this tomorrow, okay? Please."

Sam sighed.

"Fine."

The youngest Winchester allowed himself to led be to his room. Dean cleaned the blood from his forehead and stitched up the cut before leaving him to sleep.

"Get some rest, bitch."

"Jerk." Sam had shouted after him.

* * *

The next morning, Sam pushed open the door of the bunker, drinks holder balanced in one hand. He looked over the railings to find Dean sat at the end of the table. Closing the door behind him, Sam walked down the stairs before putting the coffees down.

"Where Jack?"

Dean reached out and took one of the cups.

"Where he fucking deserves to be."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Dean scoffed.

"D'n, what did you do?"

"What we should have done when we first found him."

Anger meeting boiling point, Sam slammed a hand down on the table in front of his brother.

"Where. Is. He?"

* * *

Pulling open the entrance to the dungeon, Sam took a deep breathe before walking inside.

He found Jack sat on the floor pressed tightly into the corner, head buried amongst his arms atop bony knees pulled up to his chest. A thick shackle around his wrist kept him bolted to the stone wall. He didn't look up when Sam entered.

"Jack..."

The youngest Winchester heard interference in his ears.

"Remember I not hear you, buddy." He added, softly.

Jack looked up at that, trailing the back of his hand across his nose, signs of tears at the corners of his eyes and down his cheeks.

"Sorry."

Sam shook his head.

"Even D'n forget sometimes."

Walking over to the young nephilim, he took a seat in front of him.

"Let's get that off you."

Sam took the key from his pocket before reaching out for the shackle.

Jack quickly pulled his arm away.

"No..."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"Jack?"

"This is where you keep monsters, isn't it? And I hurt you, so that makes me a monster. I should stay down here because I'm evil and I'm just going to hurt more people if I don't."

The words hurt to watch, Jack's expression dropping further and further with each second he continued until Sam was nearly shedding a tear himself as he remembered back to the times when he felt the same self hatred and fear as the young nephilim was clearly experiencing now.

"Hey..." Sam began softly, reaching out a hand and dropping it into Jack's hair, before beginning to stroke it gently, trying to coax the boy to look at him. When Jack's head remained buried in his arms, Sam continued regardless. "First off, you not evil. Kelly not, and Cas was one of the best men I ever met. And in terms of... Lucifer, that not how people work. You not automatically bad just 'cause your Dad was. You're you, you can make your own choices, and no one can tell you how you supposed to be."

Jack's eyes had risen to meet Sam's gaze now.

"I been face to face with a lot of evil things over the years, Jack. I look at you and I see that you young and scared and not really know where you fit in all of this, and I get that, believe me."

"You really mean that?" Jack asked.

"Of course."

Sam mentioned to the shackle.

"Can I take this off?"

Jack nodded, holding out his hand.

Sam inserted the key before gently removing the harsh metal.

"There we go."

Jack was silent for a few seconds before looking down at his hands.

'J...A...C...K'

Sam smiled.

"You been reading the book I got you."

Jack nodded.

"It's interesting, I like it. Very practical too. You must be very smart to know all of them."

"Had a few years of experience, plus Dean and I made most of them up as we went along so it not that impressive."

Jack furrowed an eyebrow.

"Made them up?"

"When we were little we not have effort to learn whole book so we made up signs we needed and made them better 'cause we not like some of them."

The nephilim smirked. "Really?"

Sam nodded. "Speaking of making stuff up, you need a name sign."

"A what?"

"A name sign. It a sign that used instead of fingerspelling name. Dean use 'S' and 'My' for me. I use 'D' and 'Car' for him. It used to be 'Big' and 'Bear' for Dean when we younger cause our Dad thought up Big Bear and Little Bear for our name signs so we just stuck with them until we older."

"So it can be anything?"

Sam nodded.

"What was Castiel's?"

The youngest Winchester smirked.

"Dean used 'Feather' and 'Ass'."

Jack laughed.

"How about."

Sam proceeded to sign 'Little' and 'Grace'.

Jack smiled.

"The second part looked so pretty."

"We needed sign for grace after we found angels existed. It changed once we saw what grace move like." Sam repeated the sign again, the movement being his right hand slowly moving upwards, fingers twinkling.

Jack looked down at his hands and began to sign.

'Little...Grace'

"You got it." Sam smiled.

The young nephilim beamed.

"Thank you, Sam."


	40. Playthings

**Summary:** Tag to 2x11

* * *

It had all happened in a matter of minutes.

They'd gone to tell Susan that she needed to get her daughters and go, and then Sam found himself diving into a pool.

His arm hurt, and his hearing aids were probably ruined, but he'd saved the kid.

After being handed a towel, Sam had preceded to dry himself off the best he could before taking out his hearing aids and dumping them into the pocket of his jacket. Dean didn't need to know that he'd wrecked them right now.

And then they'd found Rose dead in her room.

* * *

It was a long drive back to the hotel filled with hours of Dean purposely ignoring him. That was always fun.

After three hours, Sam gave up.

"Come on, lay it on me..."

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You're annoyed, just shout at me and get it over with."

"I'm not annoyed, Sam."

"Then why you ignoring me?"

"Because you scared me back there!" Dean shouted before taking a breath. "I thought when she said there was a door round back that it would take you to the pool level, I didn't think it would have you diving from the top floor."

"D'n, I was fine."

"You can't swim, Sam! You know what the doctor said!" The eldest Winchester argued.

"D'n..."

"You're prone to seizures. What would've happened if you'd had a seizure right there, huh?! Because I couldn't get in!"

"I didn't..."

"It doesn't matter! You could have, but you jumped in anyway!"

"Tyler would have died!" Sam shouted in response.

"I know..." Dean sighed. "I know... I just... You scared the crap out of me, because if something had happened, I wouldn't have been able to stop it."

"I not sixteen anymore, D'n. I know Dad terrified you with all worst case scenarios of my condition when we younger, but I independent now. I learnt how to control my seizures and I survived three years of college on own." Sam paused. "I get it, I do. But you have to trust me. Best person to know 'bout this is me. I have them, I know when they coming...ish. But what happen today, that needed to be done to save that girl's life, and I have no regrets for what I did."

* * *

Reaching the motel room, Dean, who was still not talking but now for a different reason, had gone off in search of food leaving Sam with his next problem.

Fishing them out from the pocket of his jacket, Sam clicked open the battery compartments and disposed of the ruined power sources inside. Five minutes of searching through the duffel later and he found his emergency battery supply. Next it came to drying them out, which meant a trip to reception.

Sam exhaled in annoyance.

* * *

Stood in front of the receptionist, drenched through from head to toe, Sam smiled.

"Do you have a hair dryer I could borrow?"

* * *

Sat on the floor beside the plug socket, the aids were lying atop one of his old, ruined shirts as he slowly attempted to remove the water from the electrics. He'd been at it for ten minutes and it didn't look like he was making much progress.

To make matters worse, he'd ruined his cast. The pain in his wrist told him that the cast wasn't doing anything to support it now that the plaster was beginning to peel away. He couldn't drive with it like that, and god knows what mood Dean would return if, even if he was successful in locating a fast food joint somewhere in the area. Chances are he'd have to deal until he could sneak off and get it recast.

Checking back on the website he'd loaded up about his hearing aids, Sam scrolled down.

'Leave your aids to dry further, with the battery compartment open overnight before attempting to put in fresh batteries.'

If Dean saw that he'd ruined his aids it was not going to be pretty, especially seeing as the state of his cast was already going to get him annoyed. They'd already been fighting a lot lately, the last thing he needed was another reason for Dean to be pissed at him.

Hoping that the hair dryer had at least dried them out a bit, Sam grabbed the batteries before inserting them into his aids. Placing them in his ears, Sam flicked them on before turning to his laptop and loading up YouTube.

'high pitched sounds'

Some searching later and he hit play, turning the video up.

Sam listened to the entirety of the four minute video before huffing in anger and ripping the hearing aids from his ears.

They were fucked.

Throwing them on the floor, Sam tried to hold his composure as the weight of the world seemed to come crashing down on him emotionally. He and Dean had been at odds for a while now and it was finally beginning to take it's toll on the youngest Winchester. Sniffling, he wiped a hand across his eyes as tears began to trickle down his cheeks. Thoughts of how pathetic he was began to flood his mind as he leant back against the wall and broke down, the pain of his wrist providing the perfect final straw to his utter misery.

A light vibration faintly reached him. A few seconds and some light footsteps later and a hand came to rest gently on his shoulder, another cupping his wet cheek to guide his gaze up.

* * *

He'd entered the room to high pitched white noise playing from Sam's laptop before finding his brother sat against the wall beside a hair dryer, his hearing aids which had been thrown a short distance away, and one of his shirts. The sound of his brother's very quiet, hiccuping sobs hurt somewhere deep, his big brother senses flaring immediately.

Making his way across the room, he knelt down in front of him and reached out. Making his little brother look at him, he began to sign.

'Sammy? Wrong what?'

Sam's gaze fell.

Dean looked his brother over, cursing himself for not noticing the state of the cast earlier. The thrown hearing aids were also an easy deduction.

'Hey' He continued. 'Look me please'

Dean's expression was almost begging.

Sam sniffled before looking up.

'We buy new ones. It okay'

"Everything I touch breaks."

"Awww, Sammy..." Dean sighed, joining his brother beside the wall and pulling him close, gently moving Sam's casted arm to rest on his leg for support as he pulled him closer against his side. 'Why you not say anything?'

"Thought you be angry."

'Why be angry?'

"Because all I do is annoy you right now."

'That not true'

"Yes it is." Sam sniffled. "Last week you jump to trust other hunter over me."

'We talked about this'

"I know..." His little brother tried to fight back unshed tears. "But it still hurt."

Dean sighed. 'Tell me how you feeling'

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?"

'You heard me' Dean offered a smile.

His little brother took a breath. "I feel... like crap. I feel like I not had win in forever. I feel depressed and angry and miserable and... and I miss Dad so much..." The tears that were threatening to fall began to make an appearance. "I feel guilty... and I feel regret... and I hate myself because I killed him, and I nearly kill you. And if I could bring him back I would... but I can't, 'cause I've tried."

Dean's eyes widened in fear.

'You did what?!'

"I wanted to bring him back for you. 'Cause you not need me. You think you do, but you not. I useless. I kill the people I love and apparently even when I drunk I know that everyone around me dies... And it true. Jess died. Mom died. Dad died. What the common denominator?" He paused. "Me... I killed them all... and I gonna' get you killed too. And I scared of that more than anything in world."

'Hey, come here'

Dean pulled his little brother even closer as he broke down, Sam's face buried against his shirt as months of repressed emotions came bursting out at once. He stroked a hand through his little brother's hair reassuringly.

'It okay' He signed. 'I here, and I going nowhere. You stuck with me'

"Dad told you to kill me."

'Like I said, Dad an ass. I not ever do that'

"But what if I am evil?"

'You not'

"But what if..."

'Sam' Dean signed strongly. 'You not and I know best'

Sam smirked.

'You need to tell me when you start feeling like this, we made deal, remember? All the way back when we were kids.'

His little brother paled. "Yeah, I remember."

'Now listen. You not useless, you not get people killed, Mom, Jess, and Dad not dead because of you, the Y-E-D killed them. I know things been tough at moment but they will get better. Promise. I not treat you right lately and I sorry. I hurt you and I feel awful. But you my little bear and you know I never hate you, right?'

His little brother blushed, smiling at the old name sign.

Dean smiled too at the sight.

'Friends?'

Sam nodded, sitting upright.

"Friends."

Dean motioned to his brother's cast.

"We need to go to the hospital, bud."

"Noooooooo..." Sam groaned.

"Yesssssssss..." Dean groaned back.

His little brother rolled his eyes.

"Fine."

Taking off his plaid shirt, Dean began to tie it across Sam's shoulder.

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"What you doing?"

"Makeshift sling." Dean kept adjusting the shirt until he was happy. "There." Opening up the material, he gently moved Sam's arm to rest down upon it. "Am I a genius or am I a genius?" He smirked.

Sam admired it with a nod. "Not bad."

"Not bad? How dare you?" He teased.

His little brother burst out laughing, which was the undisputed best sound in the world, bringing a smile to Dean's face.

"Come on, the quicker we get there the quicker we get back." Dean helped Sam to his feet before grabbing his keys. "And we can stop at a twenty-four hour pharmacy on the way back to see if they have any aids."

Sam smiled.

"Thanks, D'n."

"That's what I'm here for, Sammy."


	41. First Blood

"Six hours ago, Sam and Dean Winchester attempted to kill the President of the United States."

"Huh. Do we know why?"

"They haven't said a word since we picked them up."

"Quiet types. Okay. What do we know about 'em?"

"A lot. Brothers. Born in Lawrence, Kansas to Mary Winchester, deceased, and John Winchester, also deceased. FBI started investigating them back in 2007. Sam, the youngest, is profoundly deaf."

"Hmm, uncommon but it does happen. It's usually grooming."

"The brother or the father?"

"Probably both, brainwashing from a young age. The kid wants to have a place in his own family so he tries to fit in, and in this case, it's doing all this crap with his brother."

"So what methods do you propose for him? This silence bullshit won't affect him like it would Dean."

"Don't know yet." Camp stood up from the desk. "That's what's so fun about this job." He grinned before walking out the office.

* * *

He didn't know how long he had spent locked up, but it felt like an eternity. His missed his brother. He missed Cas. He missed Mom.

The door to the cell clunked open. Sat on the bed, back resting against the far wall in the corner, Sam jumped. Footsteps across the floor caused the flimsy metal bed frame to rattle.

Keeping his gaze on the floor, Sam refused to make eye contact with the agent who had entered. A few seconds later, a handful of his hair was fisted and pulled tight enough that his head was brought up to eye level with the agent.

"There, that's better." The agent grinned. "Now we can chat."

Sam feigned ignorance.

"I know you can read lips, so how about you cut the crap?"

The youngest Winchester remained silent.

"I have ways of making you talk..." The agent stated, waiting a few seconds to see if Sam would answer before his chest huffed. "Fine. But just so you're clear, you made me do this. You could have made life so much easier for yourself if you'd just started talking." He released his hold on Sam's hair before turning to another agent and issuing a command.

Two men dressed in army gear walked into the room and grabbed him by the arms, pulling him up from the bed and marching him out of the room.

Sam squirmed to try and free himself of their grip, but it was no use, they were too strong.

Entering into what appeared to be an interrogation room, there were numerous people already standing around as if they had expecting this scenario to play out the way it did.

"Sit him down."

Shoved down, handcuffs were placed on Sam's wrists while zip ties were used to hold his ankles to the legs of the metal chair.

A young man in a white lab coat approached, wheeling over a monitor. He grabbed Sam's hand, forcing open his fist, before placing an oximeter on the end of his finger. He then clicked on the monitor, the display showing Sam's heartrate.

"Here's how this is gonna' go." The agent sat down opposite him across the table. "Between us, the things we do here, they're not always constitutional, but we get results, so no one bats at eyelid. We get the worst of the worst sent to us, and you and Dean, you're Sesame Street level bad compared to some of the characters we've made talk over the years." He leant forward. "So, how do we do it, you ask? Well, we have developed many techniques to make people talk, but the most effective is this." The agent produced a syringe.

Sam's eyes widened.

"This stuff is pretty nifty. It plays with your brain in a way that makes you forget who you are. You don't know who you're supposed to be, but all those juicy details locked up inside that head of yours, they just become trivial." He grinned. "Imagine losing everything that makes you, you. Imagine how that must feel..."

"Please..." Sam spoke up, tone begging as he tried to stand up from the seat.

The two army guys immediately grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him back down.

"There's that voice of yours!" The agent exclaimed with a smile. "And what do you know, you can lipread after all."

"Please, don't do this!"

The agent nodded to the doctor.

"No!...No!" Sam shouted, bucking desperately against those holding him.

The doctor approached with the syringe.

"Please! Please don't do this! Please! Please!"

The needle stabbed into his neck. Sam winced as he felt the liquid being injected into him.

"Gahhhhh!"

* * *

His body felt like it had been hit by a planet as everything began to come back to him. Lying on his back, Sam slowly cracked open an eye, staring up at the powdery pink pastel sky above him. Soft fluffy white clouds sailed gently past as he clenched a hand, fisting the sand beneath his fingertips as he did.

' _The beach?_ '

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

His attempt to move one arm proved useless. On inspection, he found it to be bent at an unnatural angle, clearly broken. Using his other instead, he placed it against his ear, fingers gently inspecting what he couldn't see for himself.

Something warm and oozy was flowing from it, causing Sam's eyes to widen. As he retracted his hand, it hit against various pieces of electrics and plastic that were scattered beside his head.

' _What is happening?_ '

As he tried to get himself upright, Sam only managed a few centimetres before his whole body exploding in pain. He quickly flopped back down, breathing heavy in his chest.

Moving his non-broken arm, he placed his hand against his chest before slowly moving it downwards until he found a large wound on his side. Wide, from a large blade, and deep, it was bleeding sluggishly now, which Sam couldn't remember was a good thing or bad thing.

Sam tried to hold back whimpers as he struggled to imagine a scenario in which this ended well. Dean and Dad were nowhere to be seen.

What if they were...

' _No! No! They're not dead! They're not dead..._ '

Brain fuzzy, Sam tried to pull together any thought he could but found the task more of a challenge then he'd imagined.

' _Dad...Wait...Why does that sound wrong?_ '

The wound in his side began to throb causing Sam to cry out in pain. Whimpering, he screwed his eyes closed.

A hand landed on his cheek.

Sam gasped, jumping slightly. His side throbbed as a result.

Eyes flying open, it was Dean.

Younger Dean.

Of course Dean was young. They both were. Why would he not be?

"Sammy! Sammy!"

"D'n..." Sam whimpered, grabbing his brother's hand and squeezing it as the pain grew.

'Where hurt?'

"Side. Knife. Arm broken." He answered, before gritting his teeth together as Dean began to treat the wound, taking the bandana from his pocket and using it to try and staunch the flow.

"You just hold on for me, Sammy. Okay?"

Sam nodded.

"What year this?"

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Year this?"

"Sammy, are you okay?"

"Just...please..."

"1999, Sammy, did you hit your head or somethin'?"

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"I not know why I asked that. Why I ask that?" His eyes fell back to the sky above them. "The sky is pink."

Dean once again looked confused. "Okay, now you're really scaring me, dude. What do you think you're seeing right now?"

"What happening to me?"

"Sammy, hang in there, okay?"

A shooting pain in his head has his gasping, screwing his eyes closed as his hands shoot up to claw at his temples.

Images began to flash before his eyes.

A tall, well-built footballer with a tight grip on Jess' arm. Him not letting her go despite her objections and hits to his chest. One of her ex's. Hearing the smack before the switch inside of him flips. The deadly switch that's always been inside of him, festering and burning hot. An uncontrollable rage, a volcano ready to erupt. He crosses the room but Jess, now free from his hold, blocks his way. She's crying but begging him nonetheless to just leave it. He looks over at the footballer who's jeering with his friends. Almost proud of having 'put the bitch in her place'. He wants to agree with her. To leave it alone. But then he sees the beginnings of what will be a heavy purple bruise on her cheekbone. And he sees red.

He ends up punching the douchebag footballer. Broke his jaw and arm, put him out for the rest of the season. That really made him a favourite on campus. Not.

The Cardinal's ended up with a 1-10 record. News travels fast. 'DEAF FREAK RUINS CARDINAL'S SEASON'. Jess made it her mission to collect every poster and sign she could. He guessed it was her way of dealing with the guilt. Guilt that she shouldn't had in the first place. He punched the guy. He snapped his arm. She was innocent in the whole situation. She had been a victim herself. But she did it anyway.

No one ever bothered him or Jess again. Brady walked out from that party like he owned the entire campus. While he got tormented, Brady got street cred. Ex-roommate and best friend of the stick thin guy who took down a linebacker without breaking a sweat.

Was that what happened? Are you sure?

Why can't he remember?

Why?

What's happening?

The flaring pain stops.

He opens his eyes.

Now he's just in pain, period.

He's on the ground once again surrounded by drunk college students in the middle of the room. The footballer is standing over him. Everyone is freaking out in excitement.

He got taken down by Jess' ex? Sucker punched? No... that's not right.

Jess is kneeling down to the side of him, frantically shaking his arm.

"Baby, are you okay?!" She looks panicked, her body language that of pure fear. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry." Tears are falling down her cheeks and the bruise is still there.

What was happening?

Had all that years of training failed him?

What was real?

Was any of this real or had he made it up?

"D'n..."

Jess' eyes widened before she leaned close and placed her hands on his cheeks.

"I can call him, sweetie, okay? Let's just get you out of here. Can you walk? Is anything broken?"

Suddenly he feels woozy. Black overwhelming his vision in seconds.

Jess starts to worry.

"Baby? Sam?! Sam?!"

And he's falling through a haze.

"JESS!" He screams, desperationally. "NO! NOOO! NOOOOO!"

"Sam! Sam!" He hears, causing him to jump.

"Cas..." He whimpers. "What going on?"

He hits the ground hard, the wind being knocked out of him. Raising a hand to his lip, it's bleeding.

His chin is suddenly gripped tight causing his eyes to widen in panic.

Meeting the gaze of the grip's source, he almost begins to hyperventilate.

Lucifer.

"Hey, buddy."

His words almost burn as they pass through his ears, only understandable through reading the archangel's lips.

"Long time no spooning."

He smacks away the devil's hold and backs himself away until he hits something solid. Reaching a hand back, it's an iron bar.

He's caged.

"It not real. It not real. It not real." He repeats over and over to himself.

"Oh it's real. I'm real. All of this is real. And we're just getting started."

Lucifer grins maliciously, approaching menacingly with a purposeful lack of speed. Every step proving torturous as he tries to remain calm.

"D'n... help me." He beggs quietly.

"D'n's not coming." Lucifer smirks. "You died. Those men, they killed you, and your soul went straight down to my sandbox, and no one's coming to get you out this time, Sammy."

He begings to laugh.

A tear trickles down Sam's cheek as he pulls his knees up to his chest in the corner of the cage, burying his head against them.

He awaits Lucifer's first move. The anticipation of pain sending him into near panic.

And then there was the sound of gunshots.

Sam's eyes widen as he looks up slowly.

It's Cas.

"Come on!" He screams.

Lucifer was shouting now too.

He scrambles up from the ground and sprints over to the angel, taking him by the hand and holding on tight.

"I've got you." Cas reassures before closing his eyes.

Suddenly, there's light, and then...

Dean.

His older brother is knelt in front of the chair he was being held in with an expression of terror. Cas is next to him, their hands still holding each other's.

"D'n? Cas?"

"I'm here, Sammy."

Sam releases Cas' hand and throws himself at his brother.

Dean collects him in his arms.

'It okay, it okay'

Sam's crying now as he pulls away.

'I miss you so much'

"Same here, kiddo." Dean pats him on the shoulder looking emotional himself.

Sam turned to Cas, smiling softly.

"Thank you."

He goes to stand up, the angel's hands immediately moving to assist him. Once upright, Sam presses a long kiss to Cas' lips.

"I thought I may not ever see you again."

"I wasn't going to let that happen."

"How you find us?" He asks.

Cas glanced at the bodies of various agents and security guards scattered on the floor.

"I had methods, methods I'm not proud of." The angel admits.

"You had to do what you had to do, Cas. It was an impossible situation." Dean adds.

Sam nods.

"I uhh, I healed the hallucinogenic from your bloodstream, you shouldn't feel its effect anymore."

"Thanks, Cas."

Cas nods.

"Let's blow this popsicle stand." Dean announces. "Did you bring my car?"

The angel smiles, fishing the Impala keys out of his pocket.

"Of course."

He throws them to Dean.

Dean grins.

"Oh, baby, I've missed you." He presses a kiss to the keys before heading for the door.

Sam reaches out his hand, interlinking his fingers with Cas'.

"Six weeks, two days, and ten hours... That's how long you've been gone." The angel states. "I'm so sorry I couldn't get you both out sooner. I..."

'Cas' Sam silences. 'It okay'

Cas sighes.

"I let you down."

He shakes his head.

"No you did not. You the reason we free. That what matters."

Sam smiles.

Cas smiles too.

"Let's get out here."

He offers a squeeze to the angel's hand before leading him out the facility, forever.


	42. Winchester

**Summary:** Sam stumbles upon an unexpected revelation.

* * *

Sam's phone began to vibrate. It was a text from Bobby.

 _What the hell do you think you're doing, kid?_

 _Bobby, how do you?_

 _If you think I don't keep track of you boys then you're stupider than you look. I know what you did and I'm telling you to leave it alone. Stop poking at it, Sam._

 _Why should I?_

 _Because you're only going to get hurt._

 _I need to know Bobby._

A minute passed before the reply arrived.

 _I know you do, I just don't want you to get hurt. Just please, promise me you'll be careful, okay?_

 _Of course._

 _Take care, kid._

 _Thanks, Bobby._

Another text arrived thirty seconds later.

 _And you're always my kid too, remember that._

Tears sprang to Sam's eyes as he read the message.

 _You don't understand that means to me right now, Bobby. Thank you._

 _No problem, Sam._

* * *

"Hey, D'n..." Sam paused. "If you found out we not brothers, what you do?"

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"Curious."

"Why would you ask something like that?"

"Just answer. Please."

"I don't know what I'd do." Dean paused. "But I do know you well enough to know that there's something more to that question then you're letting on."

Sam had to suppress a gasp.

"Sammy, what's going on? You've been acting strange all day."

Sam ducked from Dean's gaze.

'What you know?'

"I took DNA test."

Dean's eyes widened.

"You did what?!... How did you even afford that?!"

"Save for months, then use me, Dad DNA and send off. Got results yesterday."

"And?"

"No match." Sam took a breath. "I need to talk to Dad about this."

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know more."

"Why does it matter, we're your family, why do you want to go poking at it?"

"It part of my life, D'n."

"No it's not! We're your life, Sam!"

"I know." Sam sighed. "Dean... You don't understand, okay. I want to do this."

"Are we not good enough, or somethin'?"

"Dean..." Sam groaned.

"If you go asking Dad about that it's just going to upset him. He's your Dad and you should just accept that."

"Just listen to me..."

"No, do whatever you want. Go find those pieces of shit who gave you up, see if I care."

Dean knew he was being unfair. He'd chosen his words to purposely hurt his little brother and it had worked.

Sam, close to tears once again, remained silent as he ran off to their bedroom and slammed the door closed behind him.

* * *

Walking into the motel room, John smiled over at Dean who was sat watching TV on the couch.

"Hey, Dean."

"Hey."

"Where's your brother?" John dropped the duffel down before grabbing two bottles of soda from the mini fridge and handing one of them to his oldest.

"In our room."

Furrowing an eyebrow at Dean's tone, he looked towards the bedroom.

"What happened?"

"Ask him yourself, I'm sure you'll be thrilled with his response."

John walked over and knocked on the door, he then pushed it open to reveal an empty room. The window was wide open.

"Dean!"

Hearing the horror in his Dad's tone, Dean turned in an instant.

"What's wrong?"

"Sam's gone."

Dean's eyes widened in panic.

"What?!"

"He's gone. There's no one here, and the window's open, he's obviously climbed out."

"Aww, Sammy, no..." Dean muttered under his breath.

"What happened earlier, 'cause something must've?"

"I don't know how to say this..."

"Just spit out, Dean, we don't have time."

"Sam saved up for a DNA test. He must have found something that gave him doubts and he got the results back yesterday."

John looked blank.

"Dad?..." Dean immediately became worried, helping to guide Dad down to the couch. "So it's true then, Sam's adopted?"

"Uhh, yeah..." John eventually found words. "Yeah, he was." He took a deep breath before finding the strength to continue. "We need to go out and start looking. Come on."

Dean nodded, following Dad out of the room.

* * *

Walking down the path to the house, or rather shack that was almost hidden away in the woods behind more typical brick builds.

Reaching up to his ears, Sam removed his hearing aids before dumping them into his pocket. He knew he wouldn't really need them anyway, and it was better to not have that be her first impression of him. Taking a deep breath, Sam knocked on the door before waiting for a response.

The door to the shack opened a few seconds later revealing a dark-haired woman with an angered expression.

"What do you want?!"

"I uhh..."

"Well?! Spit it out?!"

"I think you're my Mom." Sam had been practicing that sentence the entire way to Flagstaff, making sure the words were hearing people correct.

The woman's eyes widened before she rushed forward and pulled him into a squishing hug. After a few seconds, she pulled away with a tearful smile.

"My little Sam."

* * *

Sat shotgun in the Impala, Dean was still trying to wrap his head around everything that was happening.

John, not a fan of his eldest being this silent, turned to him.

"You okay, kiddo?"

Dean nodded.

"Just a lot to take in, that's all."

"I bet." John tapped his fingers on the wheel. "You want details, right?"

"You don't have to." Dean reassured.

John shook his head. "You deserve to know... So did Sam." He sighed. "I wish he could've found out another way."

"Would you ever have told him?"

"...I don't know."

Dean turned to Dad, his expression sympathetic.

John cleared his throat.

"After we had you, we wanted another kid, plus you never stopped talking about wanting a brother or sister so it seemed right to try again. Then Mary got ill and she wasn't able to carry kids anymore. We were obviously distraught but the doctor recommended that we considered fostering or adoption, so we did. We filled out all the forms, went to all the interviews, they did all the house checks, etc, etc, and then we were finally registered foster parents." He paused. "Two weeks after, we got a call from a case worker asking us if we could be the emergency placement of a two-year-old boy. We obviously accepted and the little guy ended up being..."

"Sam." Dean spoke up.

John nodded. "From what we were told by the case worker, the Dad had been gone pretty much since Sam was born, and the Mom had been charged with child neglect. Apparently the neighbours became suspicious after hearing a child wailing for hours on end and eventually just broke into the place one day because they heard really obvious distress." John stopped, struggling to compose himself.

"They found Sam covered in bruises, half-starved and left alone in a crib that was too small for him. The Mom was nowhere to be found and must have just left him there while she went off to do fuck knows what." He sniffled, wiping a hand across his eyes with the back of his hand. "The neighbours called the police, the police called the CPS, and the CPS called us. When he first moved in he was painfully quiet, we obviously didn't know he was deaf yet, but it explains so much knowing now. Also explains why he was so distressed back in that house, you know how much Sam hates being somewhere silent for long periods of time."

"You think it's linked?"

"Probably would be a struggle for him to remember that, but yeah, his brain could've hooked onto it from all those years ago, I mean, it would have been traumatic for him."

"I don't remember Sam moving in."

"You were only six at the time, and you probably didn't see much of Sam when he did. He mostly just refused to leave the room we'd made up for him and barely said a word. It wasn't until he was older and he started playing with you that he began acting more like a normal kid, throwing tantrums and learning social stuff like how to ask for stuff."

Dean smirked. "You were happy when he started having temper tantrums?"

"Well yeah, 'cause it meant that he was adjusting. He trusted us enough to know that he wasn't going to get hurt if he acted out. And obviously we know now that pre-diagnosis, he was acting out because he didn't understand anything. We were all talking to him and it would have just been soundless, gibberish lip movements."

"So you and Mom were the ones who took him to the hospital about his hearing?"

John scoffed. "Do you really think that piece of shit would've?"

Dean shook his head.

"Yeah, we took him and the tests came back that he was profoundly deaf. He got fit for his hearing aids and then we had to start learning SEE and teaching it to Sam. Your Mom was amazing at that. She was just so patient and smart. The idiot brain that I am meant that I just couldn't get the hang of it, but Mary, she was incredible. I got there eventually though, obviously, but she had mastered it months before I did."

Dean smiled at the mention of Mom.

"You boys just got closer and closer after that. Once you could communicate with him, you two were just attached at the hip from there on in. Not that you weren't deadly protective of him anyway." John smirked. "I remember walking over that den of yours out in the backyard and you guys were speaking in your own language."

"Our own sign language." He grinned. "We still use that."

"I know you do, it annoys the hell out of me sometimes." John smirked.

"So when did you adopt him?"

"Well we knew that we wanted him to just stay with us forever. He was at that age when kids really start to get a little personality of their own and he was just the sweetest. So we contacted everyone we needed to contact and got the standard, 'give us blah blah blah amount of time while we go through all the paperwork and legal side of things'. The courts terminated his Mom's parental rights and then we were finally given the go ahead to make everything final. About two weeks before, we sat you down one day in the living room and asked what you would think if Sam was to stay with us permanently. You ended up being over the moon. Sam, being a little younger, we were unsure how much he was going to understand, but when we gave him that news... Dean, you should have seen it. I have never witnessed such raw emotion in my life. He just burst out crying and hugged the daylights out of us for about ten minutes, nodding so hard I thought he was gonna' give himself a neck injury. And then Mary passed."

John took a few seconds.

"They still let me go forward with the adoption, but every night I would just..." He paused, trying to hold his composure. "I was terrified that I wasn't good enough because Mary, she was just, she was a natural. My brain just couldn't see why Sam would ever want to agree to being adopted by just me."

Dean looked pretty emotional himself, willing his father on silently.

"We had home visits far more regularly then we'd ever had previously during that time, and it just made me feel sick to the pit of my stomach every time that doorbell rang. I was always torn because on one hand, I was so impressed by how concerned they were for Sam's well being, checking that he was okay, and that everything was fine, but at the same time, there was the other reason why they were visiting so many times. They never specifically came out and said it, but I knew that they were also worried about me doing something to Sam in my grief, and that hurt more than anything." He paused. "To have someone look at you with even just a hint of doubt about your ability to care of your own kid... it cuts you somewhere deep inside... Makes you feel like even more of a failure than you already do because it just mirrors your brain's taunts."

"But Sam said yes, right?"

John nodded.

"They wanted to take him, just for the few days around the funeral, but Sam flat-out refused to leave. He became clingier than ever after she passed."

"I remember now. He refused to sleep in his own room on his own so he'd come and share mine."

"Yeah. Getting him to eat was also challenging."

"Still is."

"True, but this was nine-thousand times harder because he just wouldn't."

"So what did you do?"

"I had to be honest with him, and it broke my heart."

"What did you say?"

"Well, the case workers obviously didn't like the fact that he wasn't really eating much. I think he would only eat animals crackers and maybe like, a few grapes. So it was just getting harder and harder to reassure them that I had everything under control." He turned to his eldest. "I fucking kid you not, being a foster parent was more terrifying than any hunt I've ever been on."

Dean's eyes widened.

"Because you just feel like you're being scrutinized for everything, and I don't know if that was just being paranoid or not. But anyway, I had to sit Sam down and basically tell him that I was getting really worried about him not eating much because he needed food to keep strong and all that stuff you tell kids. He still didn't look sold, but then I had to tell him that I was really scared that they might think I wasn't looking after him properly if he didn't... His little eyes just looked horrified and he signed, 'does that mean they take me way?' and I just... I couldn't handle it. I just wanted to burst into tears, but I couldn't because I had to be strong for Sam, so I nodded. And then I said that I would do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen because I loved him and you more than anything in the world, but we had to work together, and it worked. Over the next week I slowly worked up his portion sizes and he was eventually eating a decent-ish sized meal, but the case workers were more than satisfied with the amounts and got off my back a little about it. And then, when he was four-years-and-thirty-five-days-old, he officially became a Winchester."

"Sam Francis Winchester." Dean snickered.

"That middle was none of our doing." John smirked.

"I know, but like, who would want to name their kid that? It was the 80's, not the 1880's."

Dean paused, taking a breath.

"But honestly, Dad. Sam loves you so much."

"Yeah, him running away really proves that."

"He's not thinking straight."

"I've done a lot of things I regret over the years. There were too many times where I wasn't there for him or you. I was just as fucking bad as that bitch who called herself a Mother."

"That's not true."

"We've fought so many times over the years, and I've said so many things."

"But at the end of the day, you're his Dad, and that means so much, especially in Sam's case."

"What if he hates me?"

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?"

"What if he hates me for keeping it a secret?"

"Well it wasn't really a secret, he just can't remember anything from back then because he was so young."

"Still."

"Sam will just be overwhelmed right now, once he calms down, you can be the voice of reason. All you need to do is sit him down and tell him exactly what you told me."

John nodded.

"So where do you think he went?"

"Oh I know exactly where."

* * *

The woman placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, fussing over him immediately. "Come in, come in. Make yourself at home, because it is your home."

Sam gasped at the sight of the golden retriever.

"You have dog?"

The woman nodded.

"His name is Lucky." She smiled. "It must just be fate because that's exactly what I feel right now... Please, sit. Are you hungry? Would you like some food? Water?"

"Just water, please." Sam took a seat on the plush stool at the edge of the shack.

The woman went and filled a glass before bringing it to him.

"There you go."

"Thank you."

"What was that little thing?"

Sam furrowed an eyebrow before realisation kicked in as to where she was looking. He'd signed as he spoke.

"Nothing, just extra glad be here."

The woman scowled slightly.

"Have you got a problem with your talkin' or somethin', sweetpea? You're gettin' yer words a little wrong sometimes."

Sam jumped at the excuse.

"Yes. I uhh, struggle with talk... talking sometime."

"Oh my little boy, that's okay. I love you all the same." She smiled, taking a seat across from him. "So, what brings you here? I mean, it's been so long."

"Has it?"

"Yes!" She clearly shouted. "Those brutes came and they took you from your own Mother, could you imagine that? Taking a six-year-old away from the only person on this planet that loved him more than anything."

"I taken away?"

The woman nodded. "I moved us Kansas away from yer' Daddy just a couple of months before they came banging on my door with the wrath of Christ behind 'em."

"Where we from 'riginally?"

"Arkansas."

"Why you move here?"

"Fresh start. I didn't want to be in the same state as my little boy without being able to see 'im."

"Why they take me?"

"My old neighbours spread a bunch 'a lies 'bout me and I got sent down for it."

"Did you ever try find me after?"

The woman remained silent.

"You not, did you?"

"No." She admitted.

Sam scoffed.

"Hey!" The woman shouted. "Don't take that tone with me, boy!"

Sam's eyes widened. "I not..."

His response was cut off as a slap landed across his face causing him to whimper.

"You show yer' Mom some damn respect."

Sam scrambled up from the stool and rushed towards the front door. His efforts were halted as the woman grabbed him, pulling him away.

"I don't fucking think so. I just got you back and I'd rather die than see you leave again."

"Let me go!" Sam shouted, fighting her hold.

"Shut up!" She screamed. "If you behave, I won't have to do this the hard way, even if it pains me, as your Mom, to do so."

"You not my Mom." Sam stated, sternly.

The woman looked angry as hell.

"Excuse me?!"

"You. Not. My. Mom." He emphasised.

"I got myself a birth certificate that says you're mine."

"And my Dad have adoption certificate and court notes that say otherwise."

"Are you threatening me, you little shit?!"

"I telling you that I made mistake in wanting to come here. You no Mom, you clearly not fit or I not be with my Dad and brother. Who, by way, are ten-thousand time better than you ever be."

The woman took a breath, nostrils flaring as she did so.

"You're not leaving."

"Try me."

* * *

"Here!" John exclaimed, throwing the Impala into park and sprinting off through the woods to the shack, Dean close on his tail.

"Sammy?!" John hammered on the door before grabbing the lockpick from his pocket. It took him only a few seconds before he was bursting inside, eyes immediately locking on the sight of his youngest sat against the wall, head resting on the broken plasterboard. His eyes widened in panic. "Sammy?!" He knelt down in front of him and gently placed a hand on his son's bruised cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

Sam's eyes opened slowly, a weak smile coming to his face at the sight of Dad and Dean.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, it's me, tiger."

Sam threw himself towards Dad, wrapping his arms around his neck and sobbing softly into the shoulder of his Father's plaid shirt.

"I remember full now..." He whispered.

Dad sighed.

"Is she gone?"

Sam nodded. "She bust me up a little and then left."

"Uhhh, I'm gonna' kill that son of a bitch."

"Dad, please... Can we just go?"

John tried to contain his anger. "Of course we can, Sammy. Sorry, I just don't like seeing you hurt, that's all."

Sam was silent for a few seconds before speaking up weakly. "I sorry."

"It's not your fault, Sammy. None of this is your fault. How about, when we get back to the motel, we talk about this more? After we get some food into you."

Sam smiled. "I would like that." He looked round Dad and saw the fear still present in his brother's eyes. "D'n." He sniffled, standing up from the floor of the shack with Dad's help, wincing as he did so. Making his way over to Dean, he found himself lost for words.

"Sammy..." Dean began. "I should have said it at the time, but... this news, it changes nothing. It doesn't matter how you came to be with us; we grew up together. We do everything together. And I'll never let some stupid test tell me that you're anything less than my annoying, pain in the ass, deaf as shit, little brother." He smirked. "And you shouldn't think any different either. You've been a part of this family forever, Sammy. Mom and Dad are your parents, I'm your totally awesome big bro, and you're a Winchester through and through."

Sam was crying now, his body finally giving in and letting his emotions flood out.

"Like Bobby said, family don't end in blood." Dean smiled. "Now come here." Dean pulled him close against his side, wrapping an arm around Sam's shoulders.

Sam buried himself against his brother's chest.

"I love you guys, I sorry if I not say that enough." His small tone stated as he pulled away from his brother. "You my family."

"Damn right." Dean nodded. "What do I always say?"

"I'm stuck with you." Sam smirked.

"You're stuck with too, I'm afraid, kiddo." John added with a smile. "Now come on, we've got food to buy and surrogate Uncle's to un-panic."

"Bobby is gonna' kill me." The youngest Winchester stated.

"Yep." Dean smirked.

"Oh, and Sam." John called.

"Yeah?"

"You're grounded forever."

Dean burst out laughing.


	43. Another Way

**Summary:** Tag to 5x13

* * *

John was in the midst of painting an angel-banishing sigil when the youngest Winchester approached him.

"That really good." Sam admired.

"You come to check on me?"

"Uh... I want say I—I sorry about this. I—I know it lot."

"Look, how long have you known about this... hunting stuff?"

"As long as I can remember. My dad raised me in it."

"You're serious? Who the hell does that to a kid?"

"Well, I mean, for record, Mary parents did."

"I don't care. You know, what kind of irresponsible bastard lets a child anywhere near—Y-you know, you could've been killed!"

"I, uh...came close."

"The number it must've done on your head... Your father was supposed to protect you."

"He did." Sam defended. "My Dad saved me from woman who neglect me, and adopted me, even when he struggling to keep it together in—in—in impossible situation. My Mom, um... I not remember much about her, but from stories Dean and him tell me, she amazing, beautiful, and she was love of his life. She got killed, and I think he gone crazy if he not do something. I resent him and argue him for so long but I not realise just how much he done for me. It not till after he die that I thought 'bout all the amazing times."

Taking a breath, Sam stared at his younger Father. His heart sunk further and further as all the memories he felt when Dad died came flooding back.

John looked equally broken, his expression that of pure sadness. "The way you keep looking at me..." He began. "...why are you so scared?"

Sam dropped his head for a few seconds, taking a deep breath as he tried to compose himself. He eventually re-found John's gaze.

"Who are you?"

"You wouldn't believe me." Sam stated, tearfully.

"Just...tell me..." Sam watched as John's expression softened, his voice obviously having softened with it. "...please."

Sam took a breath. "I'm your son."

John's eyes widened. "What?!" He shook his head. "You're crazy!"

"Maybe but not on this occasion." Sam stated. "My name Sam Winchester, and I your son. My brother name D'n and we named after Mary parents. Your favourite song Paranoid, Black Sabbath and you love to turn it up loud in 'pala. I use to lie back 'gainst leather bench in backseat and feel the music. It first song I learn words to. When I had nightmare you would scoop me up in your arms so I hear your heartbeat 'cause that what you Mom use to do when you younger. When I two, you gave me first Christmas I ever had. And first birthday, a few month later. When I four, you took me to sensory exhibit, even though it only few months after Mom die. When I six, you drove fifty mile out town to take me to deaf play. It first time I ever been round other deaf people, and certainly first time I ever been to something just for people like me. It just before Christmas so it pantomime of Peter Pan, and it made me feel so special. The people on stage were talking in same language as me, not boring people language, and I loved it."

John smirked tearfully at that.

"D'n always say that I not shut up for months after you took me to that. The next one I went to not till I in college. My girlfriend bought tickets for me and it was Macbeth. She knew it my favourite Shakespeare play." Sam stopped. "Sorry, I not mean to go on and on..."

John shook his head. "It's okay." He smiled before wiping away a tear. "She sounds lovely."

"She was." Sam nodded before noticing how distraught John appeared. "I sorry, I needed to tell you this. I shouldn't have, but I need you to know that I not mad at you, not for anything. You did more for me than anyone else on whole Earth. You were great Dad, and I need you to do something."

"Anything." John answered with a strong nod.

"The demon, it come into my room on November 2 1986. Remember date, and whatever you do, not let her go in there. You wake up that morning, you get Mom and D'n and you drive." Sam sniffled, tears trickling down his cheeks. "Please..."

"That's not good enough, Sam." Dean walked into the room, Mary behind him. "Wherever she goes, the demon's gonna find her."

"Well, then what?!"

"Mary, you have to leave John."

Mary's eyes widened.

"What?!..."

"When this is all over, both of you just walk away, and don't look back." Dean stated.

"D'n, that not solve problem." Sam realised.

"Why?!"

"I not their kid." He paused before taking a breath and turning to John and Mary. "The way to solve this and be happy, is for you not to foster me. If Mary not get pregnant again then just pick another kid."

"Sammy..." Dean walked over to his little brother. "No..."

"It only way, Dean, and it not damage anything."

"Sam, you told me yourself that your Mother neglected you." John stated.

"I did this to you, all of you. I the reason you die, and later you. I the reason we hunt, and why D'n has suffered, and I know this for a while now."

Mary shook her head. "First you say that you're our children, and now you're saying..."

"There no other choice. And..." Sam took a breath. "And I okay with it."

"Well I'm not." Dean spoke up, sternly.

"D'n, it will give you normal life you want so bad. Everything gonna' go rotten otherwise. Mom will die and we all be cursed."

"There has to be a way." Mary was close to tears now.

"No, this it." Sam confirmed.

"Sam..." Dean was cut off as he cried out in pain, hands flying to his ears.

Mary and John followed suit a few seconds later sending all of them down to their knees.

Sam's eyes widened.

"Shit!" He cursed, grabbing an angel blade to arm himself.

And then the house was thrown into darkness as the lightbulbs exploded.


	44. The Hunter

Sam looked up at the sign above the front entrance of the retirement home.

'This old people home?'

"Maybe we ought to make a reservation." Dean smirked.

'We not live long enough'

"Always looking on the bright side, right, Sammy?"

"We have one thing on our side though. With those hearing aids of yours, at least you're gonna' blend in." With that, Dean walked off towards the door.

Sam scowled, but after a few seconds of self-consciousness, put his hands up to his ears and took out his hearing aids, dumping them into the pocket of his suit jacket.

* * *

The smell of the place hit Sam immediately, causing him to grimace.

Having saw this, Dean tapped his brother on the shoulder.

"Come on, Lassie."

The eldest Winchester walked over to an elderly woman being interview by the police and began to listen in to her account of the previous night.

'You interview other' Dean followed the signs with a circular motion towards the residents and staff.

Sam nodded.

* * *

One lap around the retirement home to familiarise himself with the place later, Sam entered one of the corridors close to the main reception area and noticed a staff member cleaning up.

"Excuse me. Ma'am?" He called, putting a hand to his neck to make sure his voice carried.

She didn't respond.

Removing his hand, Sam approached her.

"Excuse me."

Sam tapped her gently on the shoulder which immediately caused her to startle.

"Oh, sorry. I just have few questions I like ask you."

The woman furrowed an eyebrow with a look of slight judgement, an expression that Sam, was certainly accustomed too after many years of public interaction, but still found incredibly rude.

"Yeah, anyway. Were you here on night of murder?"

"Can I see some ID?"

Sam nodded, taking the badge from his suit jacket. "Special Agent Butler, FBI." He then looked back up at the woman opening and presenting the badge to her.

She still looked confused, but a little less expressively than before.

"Do you know anything what happened last night?"

"Sorry. I wasn't working last night."

"How about night Harold Miller died?"

The woman shook her head.

"Oh, okay then..." Sam looked at the staff member's name badge, something that he realised he probably should've done sooner. "Marlene. Thank you for your time."

Walking away, he grit his teeth, taking a deep, angry breath. He didn't know why the looks the woman had shot his way were aggravating him so much, but he didn't care regardless, knowing that he shouldn't let random stupid people get to him.

As soon as he began to approach Dean, it was clear that his big brother senses had already pricked up.

"What happened?"

Sam waved a hand.

"It fine."

"Doesn't look fine. And where are your hearing aids?"

"Just talk to rude woman who made me feel deaf, it fine, nothing I not used to."

"You want me to have a word with this lovely person?"

"No! D'n, that even worse!"

"You shouldn't let people just get away with treating you like that, Sammy."

"Whatever. What you find out?"

"Well, ghosts don't feed on busted-open heads."

"So no ghost." Sam nodded.

"I'll go check with the coroner, see if, uh, anything was missing from our first vic's brain." Dean stated. "Fingers crossed it's zombies, and we can get our" Walking Dead" on. And while I'm doing that, why don't you have a look around the place, see if there's anything weird?"

Before Sam could reply, Dean was already facing away from him dialling the number of the coroner.

Sam sighed before walking off.

* * *

After aimlessly wandering for a while, Sam felt a rattling vibration underfoot. Peering down the end of the corridor, he noticed the woman from earlier pushing her laundry cart towards one of the rooms.

The act appeared normal, but the number of times she was looking around, as if to make sure she wasn't being watched, struck Sam as odd.

After the woman entered the room, Sam quickly crossed the corridor and made his way into the room.

The lights were off inside before Sam found the switch and turned them on. This caused his gaze to immediately fly to a sigil painted on one of the metallic drums by the wall.

He furrowed an eyebrow, having not seen the type of sigil before. Seconds later, he found himself flying the short distance behind himself and the metal drum, held against it with a supernatural bond he was only too familiar with.

Sam looked up to see the woman standing beside the far window of the room where another matching sigil had been painted. The cut on her hand, and the blood in the middle of the pattern gave Sam all the context he needed.

He smirked. "And here I was just thinking you rude."

"Shut up!"

The woman crossed over to him slowly, producing a gold blade.

Sam's eyes widened as he struggled against the bond.

"Dressing up as FBI to cover up your kills? It's almost clever. Never met a Banshee who could blend in."

"Banshee? Is that what this is?"

It was the woman's turn to scoff.

"Like you don't know. You were the one who murdered those people."

"Wait. What?"

"I read your friend's lips. 'It's feeding time'."

"'Read my friends lips'... What?" The cogs began to turn in Sam's head before his eyes widened. "No! No, you have it wrong. W-we not Banshees. We hunters. He my brother. W-we all hunting the same thing here."

The woman didn't look convinced.

"You deaf right?"

"That is none of your business. It has nothing to do with this."

"That why I thought you being rude. You not meaning to be, I just talking to you like hearing person. That was concentration mixed with trying to piece together what I'd said. Trust me, I get it."

"What are you talking about?"

Sam looked almost giddy with the concept presented before him. Another deaf hunter.

The woman picked up on this.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because you amazing."

"Excuse me?"

"So it Banshee? How you work it out? Can I see your research?"

The woman, frustrated by how the conversation had turned, grabbed Sam's hand and sliced her blade across it.

"Ahh!" Sam moaned. "I not Banshee."

The woman then moved the blade up to a close proximity near his neck, causing him to wince.

"Look, please, I can explain, just don't do this..."

Sam was cut off as he found himself free from the bond. He turned to see that the woman had cut away part of the sigil.

He smiled and turned back to the woman.

'S-A-M—W-I-N-C-H-E-S-T-E-R'

She looked confused yet again.

"You're deaf?"

Sam nodded.

"I don't just wear these for fun."

The woman furrowed an eyebrow before Sam remembered he'd taken his hearing aids out earlier.

"Oh." Taking them out of his pocket, Sam popped them into his ears. "Tah dah."

She smirked.

'E-I-L-E-E-N—L-E-A-H-Y.'

Sam grinned.


	45. Fixed

_Note: I wrote this after seeing an awful and downright offensive headcanon on tumblr._

* * *

Dean walked into the motel to find his little brother curled up on one of the beds. Making his way over, he sat down on the edge of the mattress and gently tapped him on the shoulder.

Sam startled, but calmed almost instantly after raising his head to see his brother beside him.

"What's up?"

"Nothin'."

"Doesn't look like nothin', it looks like you have something on your mind."

"Just thinking about Cas."

"Shouldn't that make you happy? I mean, you two being a couple now, that's awesome."

Sam shrugged before sighing.

"I don't know..."

"You wanna talk about it?"

The youngest Winchester was silent for a few seconds before nodding."

"Okay then, so what's going on in that big brain of yours?"

"Cas is an angel."

"Yep, I got that already."

"No, it nothing to do with that. It just... he can heal people. I've seen him do it a thousand times."

"And?"

"And, what if he does that to me?"

Dean furrowed an eyebrow. "What?"

"I scared about him healing me because I not want him to."

"Cas isn't like that. He wouldn't do anything without asking you."

"But what if he did?! What if he feel sorry for me one day and decides to do it because he think that being able hear is something I want, but never thought to ask him about because I not think it be possible? Or, what if he do it by accident? I mean, I not know how it work when angels heal people but, the two of us are really close now. What if when we kissing it just happens? Or if he moves his hand and it touches one of my ears? Would it just make me hear? I don't want that, I really don't want that."

Sam sniffled as tears began to trickle down his cheeks.

"Sorry." He quickly wiped them away.

Dean shook his head. "You don't have to apologise, Sammy, it's okay."

"I just scared 'cause, if I hear, what would I do? I mean, how do you do things with hearing? I not want that."

"Have you told Cas any of this?"

Sam shook his head.

"Do you not think you should? It might help your anxiety a little if you asked him how his healing works, and whether it's possible for angels to heal accidentally. At least then you'd know." Dean paused. "And just so you know, regardless of whether you can't hear, can hear, whatever, I'll always be here to help you out, so don't stress yourself out. Even if something like that did happen and you started hearing, you would get through it because you're Sam. You're stronger than you think you are."

"Thanks, De."

"No problem, Sammy."


	46. Pyre

Dean was stood, hands buried in the pockets of Dad's old leather jacket as they watched the flames rise around the body of their father.

Sam watched as his brother looked on, expression almost blank. As for himself, the youngest Winchester's cheeks were drenched with tears, Sam struggling to keep a handle on his emotions compared to Dean.

Sniffling, scrubbed a hand down his face.

"I sorry, Dad."

Dean's head flinched ever so slightly at what Sam guessed were some of the shakiest words he'd ever spoken, turning the slightest amount in the direction of his brother before stilling, gaze still staying on the pyre.

Unable to contain his emotions any longer, Sam broke down, hand covering his mouth as he sobbed painfully.

* * *

 **two weeks later**

Sat against the porch steps, Sam took a swig from a large bottle of whiskey he'd grabbed from one of Bobby's cabinets earlier.

Grimacing at the taste, the youngest Winchester jumped as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. The bottle was plucked from his hand before Bobby came into view.

"You know you're not supposed to be drinking on those meds. Not that you've taken them, though. Care to explain that?"

Sam didn't say anything.

"Is this you trying to punish yourself? Sam, you didn't cause that crash, the demon did."

"I should have seen. I should have known. I could got us out way."

"It was black dark and you never could've avoided that truck the speed it was doing, not in the amount of time you would've had to react."

"I nearly kill D'n, and..." Sam took a breath. "And I kill Dad."

"You were in that crash too."

"So?"

Bobby looked taken aback.

"Don't you ever say that again, boy. You hear me?!" He shouted. "Your life is not worth anything less than anyone else's!"

"Dad had sell own soul 'cause I land D'n in hospital in critical condition. There were reaper after him and I not stop it. So what exactly I good for? 'Cause I not save either of them..."

"You're being too harsh on yourself."

"Am I? 'Cause I feel like I deserve this." Sam stated. "Anyone who cause something like this would be expected to feel like this and would be blame for what they did. Why not I same just 'cause they my family? If anything, it worse, 'cause they my family."

Bobby sighed.

"Could this have something to do with your brother?"

Sam looked sheepish, clearly considering whether to say anything or not.

"Sam?"

"He not said word to me since that night." He answered, quietly. "He hate me, B'by."

"Dean doesn't have that in him. Especially not for you. That boy would go to the end of the earth to make sure you're okay. You should try talking to him."

"He not listen."

"How would you know? You haven't tried."

"Even though I blame myself for this, I not know if I could stand there and watch him do same." Sam looked down, playing with his fingers in anxiety. "I not have many fears, but one that scare me most is to be alone... I just... I can't... I won't... I'd rather die."

"Sam..." Bobby began softly.

"If D'n reject me, I would have nothing. But I would understand why he would do it."

"Your brother is loyal, he wouldn't throw you out for something like this, regardless of the circumstances."

"I kill Dad!"

"You told me yourself that you think he made a deal back in that hospital with the yellow eyed demon in exchange for Dean's life. How exactly did you have any control over that?"

"He not have to do it if I not nearly kill D'n."

"What do you want me to say, Sam? Because if you want me to throw you to the curb, then that ain't ever happenin'."

"B'by..."

"I ain't cutting you out, boy, not ever. You mean too much to me, you and your brother."

And that's when Sam broke down, harsh sobs racking through him as he buried his head in his hands.

Bobby reached out an arm and wrapped it around the youngest Winchester's shoulders, pulling him softly against his side with a reassuring squeeze.

He looked up.

'You stuck with me'

'Promise?' Sam quipped a small smile.

'Promise'


	47. Learning

Jess' gaze was on her hands as she began to sign.

Sam whistled.

Looking up, she noticed his smirk.

"You need keep eyes on me when you sign. It little tricky, but once you got the hang of it, everything else easy."

Jess nodded before trying once again. She was fine for the first few seconds before her gaze fell back down to her hands unintentionally.

"Ughh." She moaned in annoyance upon realising.

"Look." Sam began to sign while maintaining eye contact. "Just try not think too hard and relax."

"Okay."

"Try this." His hands moved to fingerspell 'J-E-S-S'.

"Show off." Jess smirked.

Sam laughed.

She began to sign the letters, fighting instinct as she did.

'J-E-S-S'

"Was that right?"

As Jess went to look down to fingerspell the letters to herself, Sam pressed a kiss to her lips.

Jess smiled when he pulled away.

"What was that for?"

Sam shrugged. "Call it my reward system."

"Just kisses?"

"You have to wait see."

Jess giggled, placing a hand on her boyfriend's cheek and kissing him once again, throwing up the sign for 'I Love You' with her other hand.

Sam looked humbled.

"I not deserve you."

"You deserve the world, Sam Winchester, and one day, you might believe me when I say that."

He smiled, leaning down to rest his head against her neck.

Jess hugged him close, wrapping her arms around him comfortingly. She began to stroke a hand through his hair.

"And I won't let anyone tell you otherwise, either."


	48. Tag to 13x18

Dean swiped his hand across the table causing Sam to flinch as the contents went flying every which way. He then turned his back to his brother and the angel as he scrubbed his hands through his hair, clearly talking.

Sam looked down, hurt.

Cas noticed this and scoffed.

"At least have the decency to face him."

Dean stilled before slowly turning to look towards Cas.

"I understand why you're upset or angry, but that does not give you the right to dump all that on your brother." Cas stated, sternly. "I mean, we've just been beaten up and choked by demons after spending the day trying to reassure an archangel suffering from major PTSD after years of torture that he's safe and can trust us, which Sam successfully managed to do, leading to Gabriel incinerating Asmodeus just over there, therefore removing one of the problems that stood in our way, and yet, despite all that, when you came back through that portal, the first thing your brother did was start worrying about you being hurt."

Cas took a breath to try and quell his anger.

"You should give him the courtesy of being able to read your lips, seeing as you've failed to drop a single sign since you came back. But most importantly. Don't you dare try and make this our fault, especially Sam's. We did everything we were supposed to, and Gabriel, despite being gone, has his grace back and hasn't lost his touch so I still take that as a plus, not a negative. He's out there if we need him, that's better than no archangel at all."

Cas took a breath.

"I know he said he's out, but he could just need time to think and explore the world a little. Gabriel has been held captive, it's not shocking to think that he might consider himself some time off to relax and get to know the world again."

Dean looked to his brother.

"You not get to shout at us." Sam added.

"You two have singlehandedly fucked everything up, excuse me for being a little annoyed about that."

"Oh yeah cause you..." Sam stopped himself.

Dean rose to his full height, crossing his arms. "Don't stop there, Sammy..." He taunted.

Sam bit his tongue before shaking his head and just going for it. "If you were so successful, where Mom and Jack? Cause they not here." He paused. "Admit it, you just blaming us because you fucked up yourself."

Dean growled, closing the distance between himself and his brother.

Sam read the signs and immediately went on the defence, hand coming up to block a very slow punch thrown. He held his brother's fist in his grip.

"You hurt, D'n."

Dean cried out from the pain.

"You tried, just like we did, and it sucks, I know, but we get them back. What you said 'bout why you came back, you better to the fight alive then sacrificing yourself. You seen what the world looks like with us dead, and I prefer it this way."

Dean was silent for a few seconds, emotions high on his face before he began to crumble, all that anger, pain, and guilt coming crashing to the surface as he leaned closer.

Sam released his grip and gently guided Dean's head to his shoulder, feeling the light vibrations as his brother began to sob.

"It's okay, D'n. We will do this. We will." He looked to Cas and offered a smile.

"Team Free Will." The angel quoted. "One high school dropout with a bullet wound in his shoulder, one deaf guy, and a fallen angel."

Sam smirked.

Dean pulled away, his expression that of light embarrassment after breaking down in tears, but it soon turned to a smile.

"You really think we can do this?"

"We done much more with far less."

"Okay." Dean nodded. "Then we got work to do."


	49. Gone

"Sam!" Dean screamed, regardless of how useless he knew the words to be.

A mockingly close distance away, his little brother's neck was being torn apart by vampires, and he could only stand and watch as the artery broke, sending blood gushing out.

"D'n..." He heard Sam call, words faint, no neck to place a hand to in his brother's usual mannerism of checking his own words. "Ahh..."

Pain.

Something that he would never usually admit to. Right there in front of him.

The horrifying realisation that his brother was hurting, and close to tears ripping somewhere deep inside him.

The vampires threw Sam down to the ground before dragging him off through the cave.

He watched as Cas screamed out, a blur of beige as he sprinted after them.

Finally managing to throw the vamp off him, he stabbed it in one blow before grabbing his gun and shooting the other.

His legs felt like rubber as he took a few steps forward.

Cas reappeared from the tunnel looking broken. The angel's gaze fell to the ground before he stopped, and crouched picking something up with great care and slipping it into his pocket before returning to his feet.

"Cas..."

"I- I can't find him."

"No!" He screamed, trying to pass the angel standing in front of him.

"Dean-" Cas halted him, keeping him back.

"Cas... you can't do this, he's your..."

"I know, but Dean..."

"But nothing, it's Sam."

"Dean-"

"What?!"

"I can't feel him anymore..."

Dean breathed heavily as he looked at the angel with a confused stare.

"What do you mean you can't feel him? What does that mean?"

"He's gone."

Dean shook his head.

"No... No..."

"Dean, we have to go." Cas grabbed his friend and bustled him towards the exit of the cave, a tear trickling down his own cheek as daylight came into view.

* * *

Gasping awake, Sam winced as the bright sunlight blinded him. Fumbling upright, he rose a hand to his neck, patting down the skin to find no wounds at all. Furrowing an eyebrow, he looked around the room to find Lucifer sat against the wall.

"Guh!" He cried out, backing away.

"Heya, Sammy." Lucifer grinned.

* * *

Cas risked a glance at his friend as he walked alongside Gabriel bringing up the rear of their now smaller group.

Dean hadn't spoken a word since they'd left the cave.

Increasing his pace a little, the angel caught up to him.

"Dean."

Dean continued walking, eyes tracking to him.

"You should have this."

Cas took the object from the pocket of his trench before handing it like fragile goods to the eldest Winchester.

Dean looked at it, stopping dead in his tracks.

One of Sam's hearing aids. Boring brown plastic.

They weren't even his good pair. The ones he liked. These were the ones Sam would wear on hunts just in case they got ruined.

He'd died in these, not the ones he loved.

Dean could picture them on the sidetable in Sam's room at the bunker. Aquamarine plastic with a translucent turquoise earmold.

* * *

 _Like many times before, tired and beaten up, they limped into some rundown clinic Sam had found in some no name town off the highway in search of a new pair of hearing aids after the youngest Winchester's last set had met their demise at the hands of some monster they were hunting._

 _Sam made his way over to the desk to grab a leaflet._

 _"Can I help you?" A woman asked as she walked down the corridor._

 _Dean smirked as his little brother kept on reading, oblivious._

 _"He's deaf."_

 _"Oh, apologies." She smiled. "How does he?"_

 _"Oh." Dean realised what she was asking before stamping his foot on the floor._

 _Sam looked up eyes tracking between both him and the woman before 'oh' appeared on his lips too._

 _"Sorry."_

 _The woman shook her head._

 _"No problem, sweetheart. What can I do ya' for?"_

 _"Hearing aid replacement."_

 _"Okay, do you have insurance?"_

 _Sam nodded, grabbing the wallet from his pocket and producing the fake card._

 _Dean wandered around the clinic, a selection of colours caught him eye on the far wall. Walking over, it was a colour chart._

 _"You've already done a hearing test then?"_

 _He took out a results card from his wallet as well before handing it over._

 _"Thank you, that is fine."_

 _She walked around to the computer and began typing._

 _"So, just the standard?"_

 _Dean walked over. 'Look this'_

 _Sam followed him to the chart._

 _"Oh yes, those are our options for colour customisation. There's not much you can't do with those things nowadays, it's quite remarkable, and they look so pretty."_

 _Sam winced at the word pretty, knowing his brother would probably taunt him about that later. He then shook his head._

 _"No thanks, fine with normal."_

 _"Oh come on, live a little, Sammy. They'll look good on ya', and anyway, you could always have two sets."_

 _"We not afford that, D'n."_

 _"I don't care."_

 _"He's right you know, you could have a standard set for heavy wear and then a customised pair for the everyday." The woman smiled._

 _Sam didn't know how to feel. The most adventurous his hearing aids had ever been where red or blue, two other very standard colours. Looking at the bright colour combinations of all shades of the rainbow, he felt odd and out of place. He had always wanted them to look less elderly when he was younger, but money was tight, and the bottom of the range were the best he could expect, and so he'd just gotten used to them. Now, looking at glittery and translucent earmolds he found himself smiling._

 _His younger self was right, the future was awesome, and so were the things it brought with it._

 _"Go on." Dean smiled._

 _Sam grinned._

* * *

Closing his hand gently around the hearing aid, Dean felt a tear trickle down his cheek.

"He hated these ones."

"I know." Cas answered, softly, voice hoarse and grief filled.

* * *

Lucifer's finger ran down his ear causing him to wince, slapping it away quickly.

"You're very forgetful. Always losing these things over and over."

"Not touch me." Sam walked out of the structure he'd woken up in, the devil following too close behind. He can feel the knife he keeps hidden in his boot but knows that the chances of managing to arm himself with it while not alerting Lucifer to his efforts are non-existent. The weapon taunting him with every step.

"What's wrong, Sammy?"

"No- you not get call me that."

"What is your problem? After all the nice things I've done for you, like, for example, bringing you back to life, this is you repay me?"

"I not owe you anything."

Lucifer closed the gap between himself and Sam, the youngest Winchester's back hitting the wall. The archangel moved closer, face horrifyingly close to his own.

"You owe me everything, you just don't remember how to be obedient." Lucifer traced a finger down Sam's cheek causing him to shiver.

"Stop..."

"Awww, does baby Sammy not like that?" He mocked. "Then tough fucking luck, okay?! You, you are going to do what I say, are we clear?"

Sam took a breath, desperately trying to calm himself down. "Bite me."

Lucifer smirked. "Kinky, bunk buddy."

Sam looked horrified, throwing his arms out to shove the archangel away from him before moving away from the wall and down the path towards the forest.

"Hey, wait up!"

Sam closed his eyes, trying to block out Lucifer's words as he fought back tears.

* * *

Dean was pacing back and forth after having reached the settlement and locating Jack and Mary.

"Dean." Cas walked over.

"I need to go back out there and find his body."

Cas took a breath. "Okay."

Dean looked to him, not expecting that answer.

"I'll come with you."

"Thank you." He nodded before pausing. "Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Back there, you said... you said that you couldn't feel him anymore so you knew he was gone."

Cas took a few seconds before nodding. "That's right."

"Can you still not feel him?"

"I can't feel anything right now, to be honest. The angel warding from a few miles back, it has drained me quite considerably."

"But in that cave, he was definitely."

"He passed, Dean, I'm sorry."

Dean shook his head. "It's not your fault."

"Don't think it's yours either."

The eldest Winchester winced. "He died alone and scared surrounded by vampires. He bled out, Cas... that..." He took a breath. "That is a horrible way to go."

"It was quick."

"He called out for me because he was terrified, and I couldn't save him. That's my job, Cas, he's my little brother."

"That's why we need to go and find his..." Cas refused to say the word. "Him. So he's not alone anymore."

A metallic sound rang out through the camp.

Dean furrowed an eyebrow.

"There!" One of the civilians shouted, pointing towards the trees.

A few seconds later, the eldest Winchester gasped, all air from his lungs leaving him as he took in the sight before him.

There, was his little brother, walking towards the camp.

"Sammy."


	50. Sioux Falls

' _Buzzzzz. Buzzzzz._ '

Jody pressed accept on the call.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Jody. Just got a call in about some kid trying to steal from a 7-Eleven. You think you could check it out, we're real busy tonight?"

"Sure. The one by the diner?"

"Yep."

"On it."

* * *

Pulling up outside the 7-Eleven, Jody climbed out the car before walking inside. She immediately frowned at the sound of screaming.

"YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN COME IN HERE AND STEAL FROM MY BUSINESS?! MY FAMILY, AND JUST GET AWAY WITH IT?! HOW DARE YOU?!"

Jody sped up her pace until she sighted Frank, the elderly owner, standing over a quivering young boy sat on the filthy floor. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to notice that the kid was terrified. Upon closer inspection, she spotted the harshly tied bonds around his wrists keeping him down beside the heating pipe.

"What's going on here?"

"This boy tried to steal from me!" The owner shouted. "I want him arrested."

"How old are you, kid?" She asked.

His eyes remained on the floor.

The owner shook his head, crouching down in front of the kid and grabbing him forcibly by the chin. "Didn't your mother ever teach you about respect?!"

The boy instantly winced away from the touch before his eyes rose to meet the owner's. The mother comment didn't seem to go down well as the boy seemed to grit his teeth before spitting in the owner's face.

"You little-" The owner raised his hand causing the kid to let out a small whimper as he tried to move away.

"Mr. Harding!" Jody spoke up, sternly. "You put your hand down right now or you'll be the one I'm arresting."

The boy seemed to finally acknowledge her as his eyes moved in her direction. The new angle revealed large red marks on the left side of his face which would soon turn to angry bruises.

"Did you do that?"

"I might have given him a slap, yes, but it's nothing less than he deserves, coming in here like I'm running some charity."

The boy's eyes were back on the floor, clearly wishing he was anywhere but here.

Jody noticed a cluttering of items on the floor spilling out of a backpack which had definitely seen better days.

"These what he stole?"

The owner nodded.

Cold and flu medicine, crackers, ginger beer, bread, a jar of peanut butter, a Batman comic, a pack of very small batteries, and an Of Mice and Men paperback.

The first five items had alarm bells going off in her head, while the other three seemed a little stranger.

"I'll take him down to the station." Jody stated.

The kid, who had been glancing up at her, in a way that he obviously hoped meant that she wouldn't notice he was paying attention, sighed at the words.

She knelt down and untied his bindings before walking him out to her car and locking him inside. Jody then made her way back into the store and motioned to the items on the floor as she picked up the backpack and began putting the items into it.

"How much for all these?"

"Fifteen dollars, but if they're for him, fifty."

"Frank..."

"Fine, take the damn things, as long as I'm not following him down there." He took a breath. "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that on the boy."

"You don't hit kids, Frank."

"I know, I know..."

"You ever been that hungry?"

Frank sighed with a nod.

"Kid doesn't need to be spending a night in a cell."

"No, he doesn't."

"Stay out of trouble, Frank." Jody walked out of the store and back to the car, placing the backpack in the trunk before climbing in the driver side.

Jody took a breath before turning to the kid.

The shaggy haired boy's head was resting against the window.

"How old are you, kid?"

No answer.

"You look about twelve to me."

The boy didn't argue so she guessed she was close enough.

"I'm not taking you down to the station."

Wide, confused eyes met Jody's immediately.

"But on one condition. You need to start talking."

That seemed to trigger something in the kid as he pulled a face, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

"Okay, nice and simple to start. What's your name?"

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Sam."

There was something different about the boy's voice.

"Hi, Sam, I'm Jody Mills, I'm the Sheriff here in Sioux Falls." She paused. "Okay, so who are you looking after?"

The kid fawned confusion.

"Medicine, crackers, and ginger beer, perfect combination when you're feeling under the weather."

"Brother sick."

"Where are you staying?"

"E Z Sleep."

She sighed, kid was living in a motel. There were those alarm bells again.

"Well, I'm gonna' need to call your parents, do you have their number?"

The boy shook his head.

"Know any other family members' numbers?"

A sigh could be heard before he mimed a pen and paper.

Jody handed them over and was handed a number and a name back.

"Bobby Singer?" She exclaimed.

The kid furrowed an eyebrow.

"You're related to Bobby Singer, the old coot that I keep arresting for public disturbance?"

She watched as Sam began to giggle at that. It quickly brought a smile to her face.

"Don't worry about an address, I have that covered."

* * *

On the drive to the motel to find the sick brother, the kid had been painfully quiet.

Jody cleared her throat.

"So, Sam. Why batteries and Of Mice and Men?"

Sam delved a hand into the pocket of his oversized (clearly hand-me-down) jacket and pulled out two hearing aids.

Oh.

"Batteries ran out, huh?"

He nodded.

"And the book?"

"School."

"You like school?"

He nodded eagerly.

"Good. That's what I like to hear."

As they pulled up outside the motel, Jody got out of the car and walked round to allow Sam out too.

He quickly rushed off towards one of the doors before dissapearing inside.

Jody quickly followed and paused to gaze through the slightly open door.

An older boy, but not by much, looked awful lying on the bed closest to the door. The youngest had clambered onto the bed beside him and was lightly shaking his arm.

"D'n... D'n... Wake up, please... I'm scared."

The words seemed to trigger something as the elder boy immediately became concern.

"Sammy? What's wrong?" He reached out a hand and gently traced the red marks on Sam's cheeks. "Who did that?"

Sam shook his head. "It's fine... D'n, cops."

The older boy's eyes widened.

"What did you do?!" He asked, sternly.

"I try help."

"Where they?"

"Door."

The eldest winced as he got up from the bed and walked over. He looked Jody over analytically, expression masked.

"You can't arrest him, he's just a kid."

"Where are your parents?"

"Our Dad is at work."

"And how old are you?"

"Old enough."

"You sure about that?"

The eldest seem to waver, eyes losing focus as his grip tightened on the doorframe.

"Look, kid, you strike me as someone who would do anything to keep your little brother in there safe, but you're clearly sick and you can't look after him properly like this."

The eldest looked hurt, his expression falling a little.

"I can look after him."

Jody kicked herself for her choice of words.

"Of course you can, but I'm saying, you shouldn't have to right now. Sam mentioned your uncle."

The kid rolled his eyes.

"Sam needs to keep his mouth shut." He took a breath. "What did he do, anyway?"

"Got caught stealing from the 7-Eleven in town."

"Sonofabitch..." The eldest cursed under his breath, looking back at the youngest with a warning scowl.

"I want to take you both to Bobby Singer's."

"We can't go there, and Sam knows that."

"Why not, he's family?"

"Long story."

"Well that doesn't cut it, I'm taking you both, and that's final. Grab everything you need."

Dean closed his eyes, exhaling with a worried expression.

* * *

It took a worryingly short amount of time for the two brothers to pack up the entirety of their belongings from the small motel room.

More alarm bells.

Neither brother said a word on the drive over to Singer's place.

As she pulled up the driveway, the old man was already stood on the porch.

"What do yer' want this time?" He asked.

"Brought two delinquents with me." Jody walked to the back doors and opened them to allow the brothers out.

Bobby furrowed an eyebrow before spotting them. He immediately turned to her.

"What did they do?"

"Shoplifting."

"Dean, for pity sake..."

"Not him actually, the smaller guy."

Bobby looked confused.

"Wait, Sam?"

Jody nodded.

"The eldest's clearly sick, I think Sam here tried to help out."

She popped open the trunk before grabbing Sam's backpack and Dean's duffel.

"Here."

Jody handed them to Bobby.

"Found them in the E Z Sleep by the highway. Said something about not being allowed to come here but, I couldn't leave them there unattended."

Bobby shook his head.

"No, thank you. I'll look after them."

The two brothers were beside him now, the old man's arms having moved to wrap around the two of them.

"I know you will."

The youngest glanced down at his open backpack and noticed the pack of batteries. His eyes widened as he looked back at Jody before bursting into a smile.

Jody smiled too.

"Stay out of trouble."

Sam nodded before signing something.

"He said, 'thank you'." The eldest supplied.

"No problem, Sam."

And with that, she climbed back into her car. Pretending to talk on her walkie talkie, Jody watched as the youngest's hands danced around frantically, clearly relaying something to the old man.

The eldest rolled his eyes with a smirk at whatever he was saying.

Sam threw his arms around Bobby before the old man invited the eldest to join them. He reluctantly did a few seconds later, although Jody could see a hidden smile on his face.

After that, the three walked into the house before the door closed behind them.

Jody smiled.

' _Buzzzzz. Buzzzzz._ '

Jody pressed accept once again.

"Hey, Jody. Got another one for ya'."


	51. Small Steps

"Don't give me those puppy dog eyes, you're eating." Dean stated as they walked into the diner, time warp girl following close behind.

"You sound like, Dad."

"Then eat something and I won't have to."

"It's not like I'm _not_ going to eat."

"Something that's not green."

Sam rolled his eyes.

"I not a child."

They took a seat at the table.

"Folks, what will it be?" The waitress asked happily as she walked over.

"Uhh, what's good?" Dean asked.

"Well, people love the clam cakes, but if you ask me, you gotta' try the stuffies."

"Well I don't know what stuffies are but we'll take two, and the clam cakes."

Sam grimaces discreetely at the mention of two stuffies, knowing the expectation of him to eat one of them.

"Anything to drink?"

"Uhh, water would be great." He answered.

"Oh, that's exciting." The waitress commented, sarcastically. "It comes with a lemon, you sure you can handle that?"

Dean noticed the immediate embarrassment and anxiety flowing off his brother but didn't comment, knowing any form of response to her would only make Sam feel worse in the long run.

The waitress moved on to Sandy before the attention returned to Sam.

"How about you?"

"Kale salad, please." His eyes remained down on the table as he answered, picking at the cuff of his shirt.

"And." Dean spoke up.

Sam bit his tongue to not say something as he grabbed the menu from the table forcibly.

"And the lobster roll."

Dean seemed pleased enough with that.

"No bun though."

The waitress pulled a face but wrote it down without another comment before walking off.

Sam felt a tap on his shoulder.

"I need some air."

He moved from the booth to allow Sandy out before he threw down the menu, his eyes falling to Dean.

"Whatever you have say, say it, 'cause I not in the mood." Sam stated, defeatedly.

"Sammy..."

And with that, Sam exploded, hands begin to sign sternly.

'No! You not get to treat me like I six. You not just repeat I have eating disorder. I know I fucked up but not need you remind me every five second! I been fine for years and I fine now so just leave me the hell alone and not interfere with what I eat 'cause I hate this. I hate it so much! It driving me insane. I have no control over own life to point where I not able to order on own without someone controlling that too.'

After his outburst, the youngest Winchester sighed, leaning his elbows on the tabletop and burying his head in his hands.

Dean was still as he watched his little brother in clear distress. He knew he had been more pushy recently regarding what Sam was eating, but it was only because his brother's diet had become almost non-existent due to the increasingly common low moods he'd been finding himself in over the past few months. It wasn't hard to see how much it clearly had been weighing down on Sam, but a part of him knew that his brother wouldn't have eaten anything if he hadnt've been this forceful with him.

Reaching a hand out across the table, he signed 'Little Bear'.

Sam's eyes tracked to the sign before a small smile appeared on his face. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, pushing it back before his gaze met with Dean's once again.

"I sorry. I not mean to go off like that."

Dean shook his head.

"You don't have to apologise, Sammy."

"You just try help."

The waitress walked over to the table.

"Here we go, lobster salad, no bun, and the kale salad for you, string bean."

"Thank you." Sam grabbed a fork and began digging in.

"How can you even eat that? Kale is a garnish."

"Hey, you said eat. I eating." He quipped a grin.

"And, two stuffies, plus some clam cakes." The waitress listed as she returned once again, laying the plates down. "Enjoy." She walked off.

Sam looked at the stuffies and pulled a face.

"I not eat that."

"At least try some of it." Dean grabbed a fork.

"You will literally eat anything won't you?" Sam smirked.

The eldest Winchester piled his fork with stuffie before shoving it in his mouth.

"I can't hear you." He pretended.

Sam rolled his eyes, taking another bite of salad. He then notice his brother's expression change. Furrowing an eyebrow, he followed Dean's gaze, turning in his seat to the teen by the door.

"Something weird's going on." He lipread.

Dean shuffled along the bench to look out the window.

It was then that he began to feel strange.

The room seemed to begin spinning, his throat tightening causing him to cough.

He knew his brother was calling for him but he couldn't get anything to cooperate.

His brain felt like mush as his eyelids began to droop and then soon...

* * *

Parked outside the bunker, Cas reread the text from Dean he had received a few hours earlier.

'We found the last ingredient so I'm heading into the rift with Ketch to try and find Mom and Jack. I made Sam stay behind to look after Gabriel. Yes, that Gabriel. I need you to come and keep an eye on him for me because his anxiety is flaring and he's in a bad place right now. Something happened on our last case and he's not eating, like at all. Not even salads. Whatever security he found in even those are gone thanks to some idiots we met who took that from him. Please get to the bunker whenever you can, I wanted to wait for you to get there but we didn't have time. He really needs you right now, buddy. I know it's gonna' be a nightmare, but please try and get him to eat at least something. I trust you, Cas."

Sighing, he got out of the car before walking to the bunker.

Opening the door, he made his way inside and down the corridor to Sam's room. Three heavy knocks later and the door opened to reveal a very worn out looking Sam.

"Cas?" Sam furrowed an eyebrow. "What you doing here?" He pulled the angel closer immediately, wrapping his arms around him in a soft hug.

"I came to see you."

"You came to check on me." The youngest Winchester corrected.

Cas glanced him over. "You're very skinny. That's not optimal for your build."

"You as bad as Dean." Sam groaned.

"I could try cooking something for you if you'd like? I know how to make soup now."

Sam furrowed an eyebrow.

"When did you learn that?"

"Dean showed me once, in case the occasion ever arose where I would need such a skill. It seems this would be the perfect time to put it to use."

The youngest Winchester smirked.

"Thanks, Cas."

"So is that a yes to the soup."

Sam seemed to withdraw, looking smaller.

"No."

"What happened, Sam?" Cas asked, softly.

"The people we met, they also Men of Letters, sorta. They thought we threat though, so they drug our food." He began. "I stupid and ate mine, D'n not."

Cas winced in sympathy at the story.

"I remember feeling awful, and not in control, and then nothing." A tear trickled down Sam's cheek. "I hated it. It scare me so much, Cas."

The angel pulled his boyfriend close, holding him gently as he sobbed. He then began to hum a soft tune familiar only to the youngest Winchester.

The melody had the desired effect in calming Sam down but Cas could feel the shakes in his body from the lack of nutrition.

"You need to eat something."

"Cassssss..." Sam groaned.

"We can eat something together, how does that sound? If you don't want a whole bowl of soup, we'll share it, but you have to eat something or you'll get sick and I won't let that happen."

The youngest Winchester looked at his boyfriend and smiled.

"Thank you, Cas, honestly."

"There is no need to thank me, Sam." Cas held out his hand. "It doesn't have to be a lot."

Sam's hand shook as he fought with himself mentally before the angel finally felt a hand clutch his own.

Cas pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's lips with a smile. "Small steps."

Sam nodded.

"Small steps."


End file.
